Tom Jacibons - How Temple Grandin Ruined Autism

How Temple Grandin Ruined Autism

Tom Jacibons

Published by Amber Ink Publishing atSmashwords

Copyright 2016 Amber Ink Publishing

All Rights Reserved

How Temple Grandin Ruined Autism

Temple Grandin is the most famous person withautism in the entire universe. But is her fame always good forother people that have autism? No, it is not. I for example amalways compared to the likes of Temple Grandin and Stephen Shore. Iam nothing like them and I have a hard time relating to them. It isnot that I do not care about them or like them. It is more that Iam just a lot younger than they are and that makes it hard torelate to then.

Both of them are quite happy being on theautism spectrum and they have made a life for themselves by beingautistic and that is great for them. But I wish society wouldremember that not all people want to be autistic. If some peoplehad a choice they would choose not to be autistic.

People with autism also feel a lot of shameand guilt because they are not as successful as Temple Grandin. Sheset the bar kind of high and this made it difficult for others likeme to achieve at her level. She came from a family who had a lot ofmoney to send her off to a boarding school where she receivedexcellent care and teaching from some of the best teachers in theworld.

Temples mother Eustacia made sure thatTemple had a fair chance in life and she was able to do thatbecause of her money. It is hard for me to compare with Templessuccess because my family did not have as much money as hers. Ialso function at a completely different level than Temple and thatis okay we are just not very much alike so it is hard to compare mysuccess with hers. She is very content being autistic and I am sohigh functioning that I did not even get diagnosed until I was 22years old.

Temple Grandins fame has hurt the autismcommunity because we are always being compared to Temple Grandinbut if we are really going to help someone with autism then we needto help each person with the specific goals that they have. Peoplewith autism have many different goals and Temples goals will bedifferent than mine, and my goals will be different than StephenShores goals.

Temples success has made the insurancecommunity believe that autism is not all that severe of a disorder.She has plowed through nearly every challenge in her life on herown with the support of her mother and money. Temple makes autismlook good and sometimes that is just not the case. There arefamilies struggling to keep their autistic child from harmingthemselves. There are parents who are frustrated that they havechildren who are still in diapers and trying to learn how to pottytrain.

Temple overcame a lot of issues with the helpof her mother, her teachers, and the money that her mother had.Autism would look entirely different today if Temples mother wouldhave listened to the first doctor and put her in aninstitution.

I am very thankful that she did not listen tothe doctor and put Temple in an institution because that would makeautism even harder on a completely different level but I encouragethe insurance and autism community to be careful in comparing allof us on the autism spectrum to Temple.

Temple and I had a conversation on the phoneone time and it was very hard for me to talk to her. She had a onetracked mind and wanted to talk about her agenda. Temple iscompletely different than I am. She does not even have an interestin having a romantic relationship at all and I am obsessed withhaving a romantic relationship. It is like a special interest tome. Relationships are very hard for me though. I have a hard timeunderstanding how Temple cannot desire romance, cuddling, or sex.It is not a bad thing I just do not relate to her when it comes todating and romantic relationships at all.

Because Temple is not into romanticrelationships insurance companies do not see the importance ofpaying for social skills coaching and dating coaching. They justassume that all people with autism will be able to become assuccessful as Temple Grandin on their own. They just assume thatpeople on the autism spectrum are all like Temple Grandin and theyjust do not see that we really need some help.

I am tired of being compared to TempleGrandin. My insurance company says Well Temple did this. Templedid that. Good for Temple. I am proud of her and all of heraccomplishments but you know what? I am not Temple Grandin. How canit be that my services are designed with the life of Temple Grandinin mind and they are not designed with the idea of keeping Tomslife in mind.

Temples success in employment with herspecial interests makes people think that everyone with autismshould be able to get and keep a job. They assume that all peoplewith autism have the same goals and want the same outcomes out oftheir life. They do not take into account that each person withautism is different. I prefer to use the word unique than differentbut I have to show a point that each person with autism is theirown person.

As Dr. Stephen Shore says if you have metone person with autism, you have really only met one person withautism.

I love Temple Grandin but I feel like she hasruined autism for me because my services are all designed with hergoals and her outcomes in mind and my insurance company does noteven bother to ask me what my goals are and what my outcomes are.It is very frustrating to cope with this. I do not feel like I amable to get any help with autism because Temple Grandin was sosuccessful with autism. It is almost like her success has hurt meand many others on the autism spectrum.

Temple does her own thing and she is great atwhat she does but my name is not Temple Grandin and my name is notStephen Shore. I should not be compared to the level of successthey have had because I believe all three of us have differentoutcomes and different goals in life.

I really want my insurance company to pay forsocial skills coaching but they just do not want any part of it andthey keep saying Temple did not have this. Temple did not havethat. It gets very annoying after a while when they keep comparingme to Temple Grandin. It is frustrating for me and I wish thatTemples life would have been a little bit more challenging and shewould need more supports so those of us with autism that havehigher goals and higher outcomes than Temple would be able to getthe help we need.

For example, I want to be able to dateneurotypical woman. Temple has no desire to date neurotypical men.She is not even interested in dating. I just cannot relate tosomeone who is not interested in dating because it is one of mymain interests.

So, why does my insurance company decide whatservices they are going to pay for based on Temple Grandins life?Why cant they base their decision on what services they are goingto pay for based on Tom Jacibons life? Tom Jacibons is a realperson too just like Temple Grandin is and he needs the support andhelp from his insurance company for autism in order to reach all ofhis goals in life.

Just because someone is high functioning doesnot mean that they will be as happy or successful as TempleGrandin. Temple is so great. She is happy being alone and that is awonderful thing for her but I am not happy being alone. I need tohave a dating and relationships coach but my insurance will not payfor that because they did not have to pay for that with TempleGrandin. Lets not forget that insurance was entirely differentback then. Temples mother used her own money and did not even haveto rely on an insurance company to get the help Temple needed. Itwould have been nice if I had the kind of money that Temple Grandinhad or even if I was able to get the social skills I need toconnect with women so that I could work. It would be great if I hadmoney to pay for a dating or relationships coach but I do not.

I do not think insurance companies should bein the business of telling someone with autism what is and is notmedically necessary. Insurance needs to pay for services thatactually help people with autism. Most importantly they need to payfor services that are different or unique to each individual. If wecould just get insurance companies to stop comparing all of us toTemple Grandin I feel like we would really be getting somewhere inlife. It just stinks because no matter what I do or try I am unableto convince my insurance company that I am not Temple Grandin.