Andrea Libutti - Awakened by Autism: Embracing Autism, Self, and Hope for a New World

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Copyright 2015 by Andrea Libutti

Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast Books: www.raincoast.com Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in

Project editor: Nicolette Salamanca Young Cover design: Nita Ybarra
Interior design: Pamela Homan

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private useother than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviewswithout prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file with the Library of Congress

Tradepaper ISBN: 978-1-4019-4544-2

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
1st edition, April 2015

Printed in the United States of America

To my three beacons of light:
Jack, Sam, and Ben.
And to all children,
whose light will show us the way.

Recently, my three boys were playing in the playroom. I was in the kitchen, and as it had been a few minutes since I had heard any noise I went in to see what they were doing. Jack was sifting through a box of Lego pieces, and Sammy and Ben were playing with their Pokmon cards.

I knew that Jack was likely to want to incorporate other pieces into his play, so I went over to the bookshelf to take a box down that contained a different building set. But as I pulled the box off the shelf, I jostled a box of paint supplies.

Ouch! I said. That really hurt!

The box of paint supplies had hit me smack on the nose.

Are you okay, Mommy? Ben asked.

Did you get hurt? Sammy asked.

Im okay, I said. I felt a bit silly that I got clobbered that way.

Sammy and Ben resumed their play, but Jack put down the Lego that he had been examining. Then, he came over to me.

Mommy got hurt, he said. He looked at me, and then he put his hands on my face.

You need a kiss to feel better, he continued.

And with that, he kissed my face and smiled.

Of course, all parents enjoy when their children are particularly sweet and kind to others. In that moment, I was no exception. I loved how Jack had felt the need to come over to me and give me a kiss. It warmed my heart.

But it also made me stop and think. How could it be that Jack could show that level of empathy? That he behaved as he did was certainly a far cry from what I had been told would ever be possible for him.

You see, eight years prior to the moment when I got clobbered on the nose by the box of paint, Jack was diagnosed with severe autism. When that happened, I was told there was very little hope that Jack would ever be able to communicate with me or anyone else in any sort of meaningful way. I was told that he would rarely show empathy for others, and that significant relationships were out of the question.

I am so glad I didnt listen.

The Condition We Know as Autism

When you find out for the first time that a child in your life has autism, how do you feel? Do you feel exhilarated, like you just found out that he is a genius who is destined to become the President of the United States? Or do you feel devastated? Do you feel like the rug has been ripped out from under you? Do you feel that all of your hopes and dreams for the child have been dashed?

Like many other parents or caretakers, you may have felt deep disappointment, grief, frustration, and a level of pain that can be unbearable. I know; I was there. I remember feeling hopelessness and despair when Jack was first diagnosed. I remember the fear and uncertainty that constantly gnawed at me when I thought that he would never have any sort of meaningful relationships, and that he might not ever be able to respond to me when I spoke to him. I couldnt sleep, I couldnt eat, and I certainly couldnt see any glimmer of hope. I was devastated.