Michael Smith - The Power of Dadhood: How to Become the Father Your Child Needs

The Power of Dadhood will encourage men to father as themselves with the knowledge that they are vitally important to the futures of their children. Michael Byron Smith discusses the implications of a fatherless home, the challenges of parenting, and the hierarchy of fathers. There are absent fathers, present yet uninvolved fathers, authoritative fathers, loving fathers, teaching fathers, and more. Any man, through this book, can assess himself, see where he stands, and make choices to become a real Dadand find the Power of Dadhood !

My sons perception of his dad when he attended preschool. It is a peek inside the mind of a child, revealing a need all children have and deserve.

My dad, hes thinking of me.

(See quote in upper right corner.)

This book is dedicated to fathers everywhere and to all children who are in need of a fathers love, attention, and support.

It is also dedicated with love to my wife, my children, and my grandchildren, without whom I would have no credibility.

Copyright 2015 by Michael Byron Smith. All rights reserved.

No portion of this book may be reproduced mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying, without written permission of the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission from the publisher.

Limits of Liability and Disclaimer of Warranty

The author and publisher shall not be liable for your misuse of this material. The book is strictly for informational and educational purposes.

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Library of Congress Catalog-in-Publication Data

2015930672

Paperback ISBN 978-1-939629-66-1

Hardcover ISBN 978-1-942672-81-4

Ebook ISBN 978-1-942672-08-1

Printed in the United States of America

Edited by Caroline Bliss Larsen

Cover design by David Miles

Book design by Maggie Wickes

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

First Edition

What Every Dad Should Teach His Children

The joy of being involved in life.

The ability to generate happiness from within.

A deep, genuine kindness toward others.

Guiding principles that will lead them to a life of integrity.

A strong desire to help others and serve without need for recognition.

Resilience, becoming even stronger in the face of challenge.

A love and appreciation for the simple things in life and the awareness to notice them.

The recognition that they alone choose how to react to any given situation.

The talent to choose well.

Michael Byron Smith

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank my family for being so encouraging and patient over the many years I worked on this book. I want to thank my mom for working so hard to raise me, my brothers, and my sisters without the help of my father. I want to thank my daughter April McLellan, whose talent in writing and journalism taught me how to organize a jumble of thoughts into something readable. She believed in me and this project and gave me the voice I needed. I want to thank my wife, Kathy, for sharing her professional insight and knowledge of the issues of single teen mothers and how children learn from both parents. She was always supportive of my time away writing and researching in cafs and libraries, and she took on much of the duties at home. My daughter Rachel and son Michael were constant inspirations to me through their successes, kindness, and love of life.

I owe much to Nancy Robertson Cook, who reviewed my first draft and gave me many ideas and tons of encouragement. Without the validation of Dr. Sally Gafford, I would not have dared to go forth on my own. Her guidance and words of support as a family therapist were vital in validating my thoughts about fatherhood. I want to also thank Randy Stone, a neighbor, friend, and fellow father, for looking at this book through the eyes of a dad and making valued contributions and support. Thanks to my many friends who listened to my stories, frustrations, and complaints through the years. Also thanks to Maggie Lichtenberg who, as a publishing coach, taught me so much and provided me invaluable contacts and lasting lessons I will never forget. And lastly, a lasting thanks to editors Jeff Braucher and especially Caroline Bliss Larsen, whose suggestions and insightful questions helped to clarify my thoughts and message.

About This Book

This is a mentoring book. It mentors men who are fathers, especially young fathers, and fathers-to-be. Mentors are not necessarily experts, but theyve been there before. They can give you some tips on what works and what doesnt work.

While some men thrive naturally as fathers, there are too many who dont, and the results can be disastrous. We must not judge these men because we dont know what theyve been through, how they were raised, or how they see things as a unique personality. But they could use a mentor, especially if their father was not there for them.

As I was growing up, I felt the need for a dad in my life and the lives of my siblings. Our father was often absent or unreachable, whether away from home or in the next room.

At an early age, I became determined to create myself as a real dadone who provides his children with love, interaction, mentoring, and disciplinenot a father who contributes only DNA.

I have gathered in this book my experiences and thoughts, the thoughts of others, and the personal stories of friends and family so that men young or not so young can move themselves beyond fatherhood to the irreplaceable state of Dadhood.

As you travel the road from fatherhood to Dadhood through the pages of this book, I will guide you to stop along the way and assess where you are. Its not a matter of flying a supersonic jet to travel from fatherhood to the state of Dad. It is a steady, intentional, mile-by-mile, where-the-rubber-meets-the-road process that can move any man from any background to the consequential and fulfilling state of Dadhood (and Granddadhood). And when you take this road, you are making society better, one child at a time.