Tracy Hogg - Potty Training: Top Tips from the Baby Whisperer

Potty Training:
Top Tips
from the
Baby Whisperer

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Copyright 2005 by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Atria Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Atria Books ebook edition July 2011

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Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

ISBN 978-1-4516-5037-2 (ebook)

Text previously published in The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems.

The information given in this book should not be treated as a substitute for qualified medical advice; always consult a medical practitioner. Neither the authors nor the publisher can be held responsible for any loss or claim arising out of the use, or misuse, of the suggestions made or the failure to take medical advice.

Potty Training: Top Tips from the Baby Whisperer

I have always been proud of my ability to help parents understand and care for their young children and I feel honoured whenever a family asks me into its life. Its a very intimate and rewarding experience. Since I published my first two books (now some years ago), Ive had a series of adventures and surprises that go beyond anything I could have imagined as a girl in Yorkshire.

Ive traveled around the country and the world and met some of the most wonderful parents and children, whove opened their homes and hearts to me. Ive spoken to thousands more via my Web site, reading and responding to their e-mails and joining them in my chat rooms. Ive received many letters of thanks and confirmation from moms and dads who have followed my advice. But Ive also been inundated with requests for help.

Maybe youre trying to get your baby on a structured routine, as I suggest, but youre not sure whether the same principles apply to eight-month-olds as to newborns. Maybe youre confused about why your child isnt doing what other children are doing. Or maybe youre faced with a deeply entrenched problema feeding difficulty, or a child who isnt potty trained. Whatever the dilemma, your anguished refrain is almost always the same: Where do I begin, Tracy? What do I do first? And then, Why do some of your strategies seem not to work with my child?

Ive been fielding such questions for several years and consulted on some extremely difficult cases. So now, in this book, I want to take your hand, ease your fears, and show you how to empower yourself as a parent. I want to teach you what Ive learned from a lifetime of baby whispering; I want to teach you how to think like me.

When parents come to me with a particular challenge, to assess whats really going on in that household and with that baby or toddler, I always ask at least one question, if not a string of them, both about the child and about what parents have done so far in response to their situation. Then I can come up with a proper plan of action.

My goal with this book is to help you understand my thought process and get you in the habit of asking questions for yourself. In time, you, too, will not only be a baby whisperer but an ace problem solver in your own right.

As you read on, however, I want you to remember this important point: a problem is nothing more than an issue that needs to be addressed or a situation calling for a creative solution. Ask the right questions, and youll come up with the right answers.

Baby whispering begins by observing, respecting, and communicating with your baby. It means that you see your child for who she really isher personality and her particular quirksand you tailor your parenting strategies accordingly.

Ive been told that Im one of the few baby experts who takes the childs point of view. Ive had new parents look at me like Im crazy when I introduce myself to their four-day-old baby. And parents of older children positively gape at me when I translate the mournful cries of their eight-month-old. I also translate banguage (baby language) for parents, because it helps them remember that the little being in their arms, or the toddler tearing around the room, also has feelings and opinions.

How often have I witnessed a scene like this: a mother says to her little boy, Now Billy, you dont want Adams truck. Poor little Billy doesnt talk yet but, if he did, Id bet hed say, Yes I do, Mom. Why else do you think I grabbed it away from Adam in the first place? But Mom doesnt listen to him. She either takes the truck out of Billys hand or tries to coax him into relinquishing it willingly. Be a good boy and give it back to him. Well, at that point, I can almost count the seconds until meltdown! Im not saying that, just because Billy wants the truck, he should be allowed to bully Adamfar from it. What I am saying is that we need to listen to our children, even when they say things we dont want to hear.

The same skills that I teach parents of infantsobserving body language, listening to cries, slowing down so that you can really figure out whats going onthose skills are just as important as your baby grows into a toddler and beyond, and as you and your child face new challenges.

Throughout this book, Ill remind you of some of the techniques Ive developed to help you tune in and take your time, particularly the acronym E.A.S.Y. (Eat, Activity, Sleep, and time for You; see Chapter 1).

I know firsthand that parenting is anything but E.A.S.Y. Its particularly hard for new parents to know which end is up, especially sleep-starved new moms, but all parents need help. Im just trying to give you tools to use when you might not have your wits about you.

I also know that life just gets more complicated as babies become toddlers and as the family grows. My goal is to keep your baby on track and your own life on an even keelor at least as even as it can be with young children underfoot. In the middle of a tussle with your child or children, its easy to forget good advice and lapse into old patterns. I mean, how clearheaded can you be when your baby is screaming at the top of her lungs because her two-year-old brother, in the middle of supposedly learning how to use the toilet, decided that baby sisters head was as good a place as any to test out his new Magic Marker?

I cant be in each of your homes, but, if you have my handy little acronym in your head, maybe it will seem like Im standing next to you, reminding you what to do. So heres another acronym for your parental bag of tricks: P.C.

I dont mean politically correct; rather, a P.C. parent is patient and conscious, two qualities that will serve you well no matter how old your child is. Invariably, when I meet parents who are beset by a particular problem, my prescription always involves one, if not both, of these elements. But its not just problems that require P.C. parenting; so do everyday interactions. Playtime, a trip to the toilet, being with other children, and a host of other daily occurrences are enhanced by Mom or Dad having a P.C. mind-set.

No parent is P.C. all the time but the more we do it, the more it becomes a natural way of acting. We get better with practice.