Kay Arthur - A Marriage Without Regrets Study Guide

Scripture verses are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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Cover by Koechel Peterson & Associates, Minneapolis, Minnesota

A MARRIAGE WITHOUT REGRETS
STUDY GUIDE
Copyright 2000 by Kay Arthur
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN-13: 978-0-7369-2076-6
ISBN-10: 0-7369-2076-5

The Library of Congress has cataloged the edition as follows:

ISBN-13: 978-0-7369-0439-1
ISBN-10: 0-7369-0439-5

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any for or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

07 08 09 10 11 12 13 / VP / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

CONTENTS

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T HIS STUDY GUIDE HIGHLIGHTS AND SUPPLEMENTS the excellent material in my book A Marriage Without Regrets. The lessons of this study guide correspond to the 14 chapters in the book to help prompt discussion, encourage reflection, and provide application of the main points.

Each lesson is divided into three main sections:

Looking Back

This section helps you review some of the main points covered in A Marriage Without Regrets by considering several comments from the book. Discussion questions are designed to promote a clearer understanding of where you are and where you want to be in your marriage and spiritual walk.

Looking Up

The heart of each study is a closer examination of the primary Scripture passages discussed in the main text. Youll read relevant portions of the Word of God and consider several questions about the meaning and application of the passages.

Looking Ahead

You are given several suggestions and insights about how to apply what you have learned in your study. Since the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword (see Hebrews 4:12), youll want to take it out of its protective sheath and put it into dynamic action in your life. Application is the best way to accomplish that goal!

I pray that as you prayerfully work through each of these lessons you will find it a joy to be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15).

A MARRIAGE
WITHOUT REGRETS

Looking Back

1. All through my growing-up years, I had wanted only one thing: to be divinely in love, happily married, raise wonderful children, and live the good life.

A. Do you think my childhood dream was unusual? Why or why not?

B. Did you grow up with dreams of what your marriage would be like? If so, describe them.

C. What expectations for marriage did you have after you became an adult? Where did these expectations come from?

2. How quickly a lifetime of dreams can be deflated! We arrived in Bermuda on the second night of our honeymoon. And there in that idyllic setting, my new husband sat me down, looked me in the eyes, and said, Kay, you are now Mrs. Frank Thomas Goetz, Jr., and there are things I dont like about you. I want them changed.

A. How do you think you would have felt had you been me? Why?

B. Whats the hardest part about seeing a dream deflated?

C. If youre married, what kind of dreams deflated for you after the wedding? When did these occur? How did you handle them?

D. How can we bring our deflated dreams to God?

3. Each of us went into marriage with our own set of ideals and expectations without once bothering to find out what ideals, standards, and precepts God had set for the marriage relationship.

A. Why do you think Tom and I began our marriage without trying to find out Gods ideals, standards, and precepts for our union?

B. Did you enter marriage (or are you entering it) by first discovering Gods idea of it? Explain.

C. As you begin this study, list what you think are Gods standards and precepts for marriage. What is most important to Him?

4. God designed marriage to be a permanent, meaningful, truly fulfilling, andyesjoyful relationship. Yet if we dont know His plans, if we havent cried out for His counsel, were likely to miss that fulfillment.

A. What do each of the following terms mean in marriage? How are they lived out?
Permanent:
Meaningful:
Truly fulfilling:
Joyful:

B. How have you sought to know Gods plans for marriage? Have you cried out for His counsel? Explain.

C. What areas of your marriage seem less fulfilling than youd hoped? How will knowing Gods counsel on the subject help your relationship with your mate?

5. The Bible will show you how to live in such a way that you will one day stand before Jesus Christ with no regrets in your heart. Come what may, you will have the confidence that you have lived in obedience and have done all that could be done to make your marriage a success.

A. Is it your goal to have a marriage without regrets? What would this mean for you?

B. How is obedience connected to having a marriage without regrets?

C. What does a successful marriage look like? How do you think you can achieve it?

Looking Up

1. Read Genesis 2:18-24.

A. According to this passage, what are Gods expectations for marriage?

B. How do these compare to your own?

C. How can you reshape your expectations to fit Gods expectations?

2. Read Genesis 3.

A. How did the honeymoon end for Adam and Eve? What dreams of theirs were shattered?

B. What can we learn from this tragic story that will help us build stronger marriages?

3. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10.

A. What is the difference between repentance and regret?

B. What kind of sorrow leads to repentance? What kind of sorrow leads to death?

C. Give an example of how godly sorrow in marriage can lead to repentance without regret.

D. Give an example of how worldly sorrow in marriage can lead to death.

E. What does this verse suggest about building a marriage without regrets?

Looking Ahead

1. List the concepts you have gleaned about building a marriage without regrets.

2. Write out any ideas you have held about marriage that dont seem to line up with Gods Word.

3. Write out a prayer to God, telling Him specifically what you want to achieve in your marriage. Be sure to tell Him what you are willing to do to accomplish your desires. Remember: God loves to answer specific prayer (John 15:16)!

IS IT POSSIBLE TO LIVE
HAPPILY EVER AFTER?

Looking Back

1. In all my dreaming and fantasizing, the emphasis was always on what I needed and what I wanted. As my needs and wants were met, I told myself, I will respond to my mate accordingly.

A. What problems can result from entering marriage with this kind of focus?

B. In what way is this kind of self-focus natural to all of us?

C. How can we overcome our natural bent toward self-centeredness, especially in marriage?

2. In the long run, it doesnt matter how many books youve read, how many counselors youve consulted, or how many weekend conferences youve attended. What matters is this: Have you connected with the counsel in Gods Word? Are you truly hearing Him? Are you obeying His precepts? Are you being guided by His Holy Spirit?