Paula Spencer - Parenting Guide to Your Toddler

A Ballantine Book
Published by The Random House Publishing Group

Copyright 2000 by P ARENTING Magazine

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, and simultaneously in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto.

Ballantine and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

www.ballantinebooks.com

Library of Congress Card Number: 00-190361

eBook ISBN: 978-0-345-54469-8

Cover photo K. Coppieters/Superstock

v3.1

For my parents, Eleanore and Sylvester Patyk, who raised five toddlers
of their own and always encouraged the middle ones love of scribbling and
felt certain shed someday write a book (though Im sure they never dreamed
it would be about anything domestic).

The information and advice presented in this book have been reviewed by a professional advisory board of medical doctors. They should not, however, substitute for the advice of your personal physician or other trained healthcare professionals. You are advised to consult with healthcare professionals with regard to all matters that may require medical attention or diagnosis and to check with a physician before administering or undertaking any course of treatment.

During the crucial first year, your baby relies on you for every basic need, from feeding and transportation to warmth and comfort. But as soon as she literally takes those tentative first steps into toddlerhood, rapid-fire changes begin. Your toddler is still your baby, but shes definitely on the thrilling threshold of independence.

Its exciting to share your 18-month-olds glee when she zooms down the slide all by herself. Or to watch your 24-month-oldwho just weeks, or days, before seemed to rely on grunts, groans, and finger-pointing to express himselfsuddenly tell you not only what he wants but why.

This period of nonstop growth comes with many challengesfor both you and your toddler. As your child masters new skills, from buttoning her own coat to singing a new song (over and over again!), shell bring to the party a love of the word no, insatiable curiosity, unexpected meltdowns, and boundless energy and affection.

To help you weather the storms and cherish the triumphs: P ARENTING Guide to the Toddler Years. Like P ARENTING magazine, it offers reality-tested advice from experts as well as moms and dads around the country. We walk you through all the changesbig and littlethat you and your child will experience during this exciting time. Heres to the wonders of toddlerhood!

Janet Chan
Editor in Chief
P ARENTING

S ending a book into the world feels a bit like leaving your toddler at nursery school for the first time. Youre anxious on the little guys behalf, slightly mournful, and also a bit relieved to finally have a few free minutes to yourself. Both children and books require collaboration. Id like to thank the following individuals at P ARENTING magazine for their confidence and support: Bruce Raskin, franchise development editor, and Janet Chan, editor in chief, as well as Lisa Bain and Maura Rhodes.

Heidi Kotansky wrote all of the parent profiles and provided primary research assistance. Valerie Fahey provided fact-checking research. Lisa Hilgers and Gabrielle Revere served as photo editors. The UCLA-based medical advisory board reviewed the entire manuscript and provided useful feedback. My gratitude to all.

Id also like to thank all the experts and parents whom Ive interviewed on related subjects over the years for my magazine articles. That includes all my friends whom Ive endlessly grilled for their opinions, solutions, anecdotes, and networking leads. My special appreciation to toddler experts Leigh Wahl, Dian Taylor, Laura Patyk, and Patricia Anderson for reviewing the manuscript in progress, and to Dr. Donald Larmee, Bertha Madden, and Becca Curry.

Finally, anyone who knows me knows I couldnt have written a sensible word for this book without the unfailing help of my husband, George, or the experience of raising our four amazing children, Henry Hartsfield, Eleanor Louie, Margaret Meriwether, and Page Jubilee.

Paula Spencer and the editors of P ARENTING wish to thank the UCLA Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities and its affiliated faculty for carefully reviewing the manuscript of this book.

N EAL H ALFON , MD, MPH, Professor in Pediatrics and Public Health, University of California at Los Angeles School of Medicine; Codirector, UCLA Center for Healthier Children, Families, and Communities

N EAL K AUFMANN , MD, MPH, Director, Division of Academic Primary Care, Pediatrics, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center

C LAIRE K OOP , PhD, Professor in Psychology and Applied Developmental Psychology, Claremont Graduate University

M ICHAEL R EGALADO , MD, Director of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics, Childrens Hospital, Los Angeles

W ENDY S LUSSER , MD, MS, Assistant Clinical Professor, Department of Pediatrics, University of California at Los Angeles; Director, UCLA Breast-feeding Program