Jen Singer - Stop Second-Guessing Yourself — The Toddler Years: A Field-Tested Guide to Confident Parenting

The Toddler Years

A Field-Tested Guide
to Confident Parenting

Jen Singer

Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
www.hcibooks.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Singer, Jen.

Stop second-guessing yourselfthe toddler years : the field-tested guide to confident parenting / Jen Singer.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

eISBN-13: 978-0-7573-9833-9 (ebook) eISBN-10: 0-7573-9833-2 (ebook)

1. ToddlersDevelopment. 2. ToddlersCare. 3. Parent and child. 4. Parenting. 5. Child rearing. I. Title.
HQ774.5.S56 2009
649'.122dc22

2009 Jen Singer

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

HCI, its logos, and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 334428190

Cover design by Justin Rotkowitz
Interior design and formatting by Lawna Patterson Oldfield

For Nick and Chris

Contents

Chapter One
When Your Baby Isnt a Baby Anymore: Transitioning to Toddlerhood

Chapter Two
Like Herding Cats: Taking Your Toddler on the Go

Chapter Three
If Youll Just Go to Sleep, Ill Take You to Disney World in the Morning: Sleep Issues

Chapter Four
The Most Labor-Intensive Milestone: Potty Training Your Toddler

Chapter Five
Your New Gated Community: Keeping Your Toddler Safe in and Outside the Home

Chapter Six
Beyond Mac n Cheese: Feeding Your Toddler

Chapter Seven
Youve Got a Friend: Your Toddlers Playdates and Playgroups

Chapter Eight
Who Is This Kid and Why Is He Calling Me Mommy? Discipline and Dealing with the Unpredictable Nature of Toddlers

Chapter Nine
BeyondBlues Clues: Entertaining Your Toddler

Chapter Ten
All in the Family: Your Toddlers Siblings, Grandparents, and Other Family Members

Chapter Eleven
Pick, Pick, Pick: The Milestones You Dont Want to Share with Grandma

Chapter Twelve
Bwess You: When Your Toddler Is Sick and (Inevitably) When You Are, Too

Chapter Thirteen
But What About...? Extra Help for Parents of Multiples, Stay-at-Home Moms, Starting Day Care, and Other Special Situations

T hanks to Allison Janse, editor and visionary, who e-mailed me one day and said, Howd you like to write some books based on MommaSaid.net? Your clever insight, superb editing, and unwavering loyalty when, in the middle of the whole thing, I got cancer, will be forever appreciated. Thanks to everyone at HCI for making this book series possible.

Thanks to Wendy Sherman and Ed Albowicz for your guidance and friendship. Thanks to Robin Blakely for turning out magic, and for your continued support and love. Thanks, too, to Mark Stroginis for your work behind the scenes, and thank you to Jenna Schnuer who helped with the research for the book.

Thanks to my family: my mom and dad (aka Captain Red Pen), my brother, Scott, all of my in-laws, my nieces, and my nephew, Michael, who was a fresh reminder of the toddler years and its light-up sneakers and breakable items.

Thanks to my husband, Pete, for continuing to be my biggest cheerleader and my best friend. And to our kids, Nicholas and Christopher, who fill my days with joy and laundry.

Thanks to my doctors, Julian Decter and Alison Grann, who helped return me to health (and hair).

Finally, thanks to MommaSaids community of parents who help make it a fun place to visit, and so graciously shared many fantastic tips and thoughts throughout this book.

W hen I launched MommaSaid.net, my website for beleaguered moms who could really use a laugh, I had just survived the toddler years, but I was still reeling from the sleepless nights, potty-training setbacks, and toys and household items stuffed into the oddest nooks and crannies. I was relieved to find that other moms also felt as though the toddler years were a lot like Mr. Toads Wild Ride: harrowing, yet often amusing, and always full of surprises.

Through the years, the MommaSaid community has generously shared war stories, tips, advice, and commiseration when it comes to those pint-size people we call toddlers, one- to three-year-old children who act a lot like little drunks: overly affectionate one minute, belligerent and incoherent the next, as they stumble toward the door.

Though its been a few years since I was the mom of toddlers with two of them under the same roofit all came back to me when I watched my nephew, a toddler who is rarely still for more than a moment, do something none of the other kids in the family had tried: he picked up an ornately painted ceramic eggthe oh-so-fragile one from Germanywhile we grown-ups all held our breath. Ball, he announced. My sister-in-law tried to get to him, but Blam! He dropped it on the ground. He looked over the tiny pieces on the floor and said, Broke ball.

And then it hit me: thats exactly the sort of thing that no one tells you about the toddler years, let alone what to do about it. I knew it was time to put together the kind of back-fence advice for surviving the toddler years that Ive included on MommaSaid into one easy-to-read guidebook.

Here, Ill give you the big picture on parenting toddlers in a way that you havent seen before. Throughout the book, MommaSaids readers provide their own mom-tested tips that will prove handy when youre staring down a temper tantrum or trying to get your toddler to nap. Its like were meeting at the proverbial back fence and, mom-to-mom, going through all the things that keep us up at night when it comes to toddlers, from tots who scale safety gates to that hideous shrieking noise your two-year-old has taken a liking to.

You might have a different experience with certain aspects of raising toddlers, and youll no doubt have your own advice to give to friends who have toddlers now or whose babies are about to reach that first birthday, when so many changes begin. Youre no doubt finding out thats when much of what a mom has already learned gets thrown out the window, likely along with a shoe and a sippy cup. (Go check. Ill wait.)

Whether every word is eye-opening or simply a reassuring pat on the back, remember one very important thing while youre parenting toddlers: youre not the only one going through it, no matter how lonely it feels at times. Whenever you need a pick-me-up, flip through this guide or drop by MommaSaid.net for laughs and validation. You know, just as soon as you dig your computers mouse out of the toy box. (Go check. Ill wait.)

Been There, Done That

It was the scariest Halloween party Id ever been to, but I was the only one who was frightened. I was wrangling my one-year-old, who had a poopy diaper trapped in a dragon costume with no snaps, in a public bathroom with no changing table. Outside the bathroom and across a stuffy room filled with children hopped up on Smarties, my unsupervised two-and-a-half-year-old, in a hard hat and overalls, was reaching for a plate of cupcakes smothered in chocolate icing. I realized then,