Debbie Macomber - Dakota Home

DEBBIE MACOMBER

Dakota HOME

Anna and Anton Adler
and
Helen and Florian Zimmerman
For their courage, dedication and love

Contents

Prologue

Four years earlier

J eb McKenna recognized death, sensed the cold, dark shadow of its approach as he labored for each breath. The will to live was strong, stronger than he could have imagined. Waves of agony assaulted him, draining what little energy he had left. In an effort to conserve his strength, he gritted his teeth and swallowed the groans.

Trapped as he was, he twisted his face toward the sun, seeking its warmth. Stretching toward the light. He refused to stare into the advancing darkness that waited to claim him. But the more he struggled, the weaker he grew. Each attempt to free himself brought unrelenting pain. Barely conscious now, he accepted the futility of his effort and went still as the darkness crept toward him inch by inch.

Jeb! Dear God in heaven. Hold on, hold on. Ill get help.

Jeb tried to open his eyes but had become too weak. An eternity passed before he felt his head gently lifted and cradled in caring arms.

Help is on the waytheyll be here soon. Soon.

It was Dennis, he realized, Dennis in a panic, his voice shaking and raw. Jeb couldnt see what his friend was doing, but felt the tightening pressure of a tourniquet as Dennis secured it around his thigh.

Jeb wanted to thank him, but it was too late and he knew it, even if his friend didnt. He was grateful to Dennis; he didnt want to die, not alone in the middle of a wheat field, lying in his own blood, feeling the land slowly, surely swallow him.

He didnt want his fatheror worse, his sisterto discover his body. At least now they would be spared that agony.

So many regrets, so many mistakes.

Hold on, Dennis said, hold on.

Jeb heard a piercing sounda sirenfollowed by raised voices and shouted orders. Then the pain returned, pain so agonizing that he sought death, begged it to take him. Anything to end this inhuman suffering.

The next thing he heard was his sisters sobbing. It was the first time he could remember hearing Sarah cry. Shed always been the strong one in the family. Jeb and his father had come to rely on her, especially since their mothers death.

Jeb chanced opening his eyes and found himself in a darkened room. Sunlight peeked through the closed blinds in narrow slats. He noticed a powerful antiseptic smell, and when he moved his arm slightly, felt the tug of a line attached to his hand. An IV. He was obviously in the hospital, probably in Grand Forks.

Rolling his head to one side, he discovered Sarah sitting there, her face streaked with tears.

Im sorry, Im so sorry, she whispered when she saw that he was awake.

Im alive. He had to hear himself say the words in order to know it was true.

Son.

His father stood on the other side of the bed. We thought wed lost you. Joshua McKenna wasnt an emotional man, but his eyes revealed anguish. A heartbeat later, he broke eye contact.

Jeb frowned, not understanding. Hed lived, so the worst was over; this wasnt a time for tears or grief.

What day is it? Jeb asked, and the words scraped his dry throat. As if reading his thoughts, his sister offered him a sip of water, and he greedily took in the liquid until hed had his fill.

His father looked at his watch. Thursday afternoon. Four oclock.

Jeb had lost all perspective on time. The accident had happened earlier in the week. Mustve been Monday, when Dennis was scheduled to deliver diesel for the farm equipment. Yes, because he remembered Dennis talking to him, helping him.

You were unconscious for two days, his sister explained.

Two days, he repeated. It didnt seem possible.

Youd lost a lot of blood, Joshua added, his voice trembling.

Jeb glanced at Sarah and then his father. Why were they so upset? He was alive and damn glad of it.

Tell us what happened? Sarah asked softly. She held his hand between her own.

The tractor stalled and I He hesitated when an awkward lump blocked his throat.

You climbed down to check the engine?

Jeb nodded. Id just started to look when the tractor lurched forward. He couldnt finish, couldnt make himself relive the nightmareyet he knew he could never escape it.

Luckily his reflexes had been fast enough for him to avoid getting run over, but he hadnt been able to leap far enough to miss the sharp, churning blades of the field cultivator. Theyd caught his leg, chewing away at flesh and sinew, grinding into bone. Then, without explanation, the tractor had stalled again, trapping his leg, holding him prisoner as he watched his blood fertilize the rich soil, darkening it to a deeper shade.

Go on, his father urged.

He tried, but no words came.

No, Sarah cried. No more. It isnt important. Jebs alive. Thats all that matters.

The door opened and Dennis Urlacher peered inside.

Hes awake, Sarah announced, and Dennis walked slowly into the room.

He stood next to Sarah, his face tight with concern. Good to have you back in the land of the living.

Jeb swallowed hard, realizing that if Dennis hadnt arrived when he did, hed never have survived. I owe you my life.

Dennis was uncomfortable with attention, and rather than comment, he simply nodded. Im sorry about

Jeb watched Sarah reach for Denniss forearm and his friend stopped midsentence.

He doesnt know, his father said.

Know what? Jeb asked, frowning at those gathered by his bedside.

Then suddenly he did know, should have realized the moment hed heard his sisters sobs and seen the agony in his fathers eyes.

That was when he started to scream. The scream began in the pit of his stomach and worked its way through him until he sounded like a man possessed. He screamed until he had no oxygen left in his lungs, until his shoulders shook and his breath was shallow and panting.

He already knew what no one had the courage to tell him.

One

I t was the screaming that woke him.

Jeb bolted upright in bed and forced himself to look around the darkened room, to recognize familiar details. Four years had passed since the accident. Four years in which his mind refused to release even one small detail of that fateful afternoon.

Leaning against his headboard, he dragged in deep gulps of air until the shaking subsided. Invariably with the dream came the pain, the pain in his leg. The remembered agony of that summers day.

His mind refused to forget and so did his body. As he waited for his hammering pulse to return to normal, pain shot through his badly scarred thigh, cramping his calf muscle. Instinctively cringing, he stiffened until the discomfort passed.

Then he started to laugh. Sitting on the edge of his bed, Jeb reached for his prosthesis and strapped it onto the stump of his left leg. This was the joke: The pain Jeb experienced, the charley horse that knotted and twisted his muscles, was in a leg that had been amputated four years earlier.

Hed cheated death that day, but death had gained its own revenge. The doctors had a phrase for it. They called it phantom pain, and assured him that eventually it would pass. It was all part of his emotional adjustment to the loss of a limb. Or so they said, over and over, only Jeb had given up listening a long time ago.

After hed dressed, he made his way into the kitchen, eager to get some caffeine into his system and dispel the lingering effects of the dream. Then he remembered he was out of coffee.

It didnt take a genius to realize that Sarah had purposely forgotten coffee when shed delivered his supplies. This was his sisters less-than-subtle effort to make him go into town. It wouldnt work. He wasnt going to let her manipulate himeven if it meant roasting barley and brewing that.