Paddock - Blind Rage: A True Story of Sin, Sex, and Murder in a Small Arkansas Town

Sam Hugh Park awakened aroundeleven on Sunday morning with the sun shining behind old and uneven Venetianblinds. Hung over, as usual, he stumbled into the kitchen of the small house herented from his mother. With a shaking hand, he reached for the bottle of vodkahe kept in the refrigerator, took a long swallow, and immediately felt somerelief.

He walked into the living roomwhere his newest boy, Santos, was asleep on the couch. He tousled his long,black hair.

Get up, he said and jabbed hisribs with his hand, but Santos only stirred slightly and rolled over. Fuckit, Sam Hugh said.

He heated a cup of coffee in themicrowave and walked out onto his small front porch. He realized he had sleptin his clothes and noticed a semen stain on his yellow sweater. He brieflywondered whose it was.

Across the street at his mothershouse, her morning paper still lay on the sidewalk where she demanded it bethrown.

Mom hasnt gotten her paper yet?he said aloud and then laughed, realizing he was talking to himself more andmore these days. Ever since hed lost his job as the youngest US prosecutingattorney of the Fifth District of the State of Arkansas, he found the mostinteresting conversations were those he had with himself.

He had made good money, but hespent it foolishly on liquor and entertainment with other homosexuals,sometimes supporting as many as three young men he had rescued from the countyjails. Now he lived in one of his mothers three rent houses and hung hisshingle out in the front bedroom. He did not have a thriving legal practice,but there werent that many lawyers in Van Buren, so he billed enough clientsthat he was able to employ a secretary.

He went back inside and met Santoscoming out of the bathroom.

I tried to wake you up earlier,he said to the boy, who was clad only in his underwear.

Santos was currently Sam Hughsfavorite, and Santos wanted to keep it that way. He lived there rent-free, withall the beer and drugs he wanted.

Got anything you want me to dotoday? he asked.

You can pick up the place. I hadpeople in and out all night, but alas, he said with a chuckle, I dontremember who they were.

Anything else?

Sam Hugh unzipped his pants.Yeah.

A couple of hours later, afterSantos had left to go horseback riding, Sam Hugh walked outside again and sawhis mothers newspaper still lying where it had been earlier. He and his motherfought bitterlyand oftenover his excessive drinking and fondness for youngboys, but they always made up.