Tracy Brown - Criminal Minded

My Colleagues:

Thank you to all of the folks at St. Martins Press. Special thanks to Monique Patterson. I appreciate your patience and your understanding. (And stop laughing at me about my confusion over the editing process. *smile* Im learning!) To my girl, Vickie Stringeragent extraordinaire! Thanks for all the long talks, the great advice, and for your support. I appreciate you having my back in my career and I am so grateful for the friendly girlfriend to girlfriend way you have of steering me in the right direction. You are such an inspiration. Shannon Holmes what can I say? You have a career of your own, but you are never too busy to talk to me. Thank you for being a real friend and for always telling me your honest opinion, straight no chaser. You deserve every ounce of your success. Kwan, my right-hand man. Thanks for making me laugh during every book tour. Thanks for being someone who I can always call when I need to vent or to ask your opinion. I am in awe of your gift, and I am so proud to call you my colleague and my friend. (Where the brotherhood at?)Triple Crown Publications, you guys are a great team to work with. Tammy Fournier, keep doing the damn thing. Youre the best! To my fellow authorsDanielle Santiago (I am so proud of you and so happy for you!), Mark Anthony, Nikki Turner (Black Pearls!), Trustice, Kashamba Williams, TN Baker (Tasty, Nigga!), Joy Lynn, and asha bandelethanks for your encouragement and your friendship. All the street vendors, magazines (especially Don Diva, The Source, Vibe , and Black Elegance ), radio (especially The Wendy Williams Experience ), Ed Lover, Monie Love, and DJ Kut from Power 105.1 in NY), and bookstores, thank you endlessly.

My Favorite Lawyers:

Thanks to Willie Dennis, Harvey Newkirk, and Shawn Grant for all your help. All the fine print has been analyzed, all the Is dotted and Ts crossed, and I thank you tremendously for your help in getting that done. It will not be forgotten. Youre all terrific!

My Family:

To my parents, I am so grateful for your support. I know how proud of me you both are, and I am happy that you got the chance to see me turn my troubled life into a triumphant one.

To my children: Ashley, youre a beautiful young lady with a big, bright future ahead of you. Im so proud of you, princess. Remember that. Quaviel, I love your style. You are so laid-back, so cool and so sincere. Every mother should be lucky enough to have a son just like you. Justin, you have such a magnetic personality and your smile melts my heart every time. You have a brilliant mind for such a young manand your walk is mean! I love all of you so much. Stay focused.

My Friends:

Tanara and Ann, thanks for holding me down. What would I do without you? You two motivate me when I dont feel like writing, you give me honest opinions about everything, and you listen whenever I have a broken heart or a weary spirit. You are both heavensent. I am so grateful that you are my friends. Arthur Smith, thank you for being you, for all the ways you go the extra mile for me. You are appreciated. (And youre almost as smooth as Pimpalicious. Keep working on it.) Twana Denard, you are the best! Thanks so much for giving my book to Oprah when you could have focused solely on the fact that you were there to meet Usher Raymond! Thanks, girl, for being that unselfish. I love you for it, and I will never forget it. Dont ever change (because you are hysterical!). Tamara Walker, thanks for your dedication and for your persistence. I appreciate all of your help.

My Readers:

I had never met so many amazing people until I started writing. You readers are funny, youre honest, youre thorough, youre encouraging, and you are all fabulous! Nothing beats walking into a store and seeing so many of you waiting to meet me, to hug me, to get your books signed, or just waiting to say hi. Thank you for reading my books, for spreading the word, and for posting your comments on the Internet. I love getting your e-mails, cards, and notes, and I thank you for taking the time to contact me. It makes all this writing worthwhile! Thank you so very much. I love yall!

And finally

To my native borough of Staten Island, New York. Thank you all for encouraging and inspiring me and supporting my books. Wheneveryou see me on the street and let me know youre proud of me or that you loved a story I wrote, it makes me smile inside and out. Thanks for all your support! I hope to continue to make you proud.

Lamin

So here I sit today. November 21, 2002. I was acquitted by a jury of my peers in connection with the murder of my cousin. The jury bought Maurys argument that the whole thing was self-defense and I walked. There was a press conference afterward, and I thanked all of my supporters. I was happy to be free, yet so sad about the state of my family, about the state of my life. Curtis was dead. I was responsible. And I would never be the same again.

The trouble didnt end there, though. Im still facing trial on the money-laundering charges. My mother died of AIDS in the spring of the year 2000. Grandma is holding the family together. Aunt Inez visits Curtis grave every Sunday, and she still wont speak to me. Uncle Eli is still a waste. Olivia is still in love and raising pretty Adiva with Zion. We tell Adiva stories about Papa all the time.

Dream and I got divorced. I lost custody of my son, Jordan. Dream used what happened on New Years Eve as proof that my lifestyle was dangerous to our son. So the judge awarded her custody and gave me some bullshit visitation rights. Now, Im seeing my son on weekends, just like she said I would. I hate her for that. I really do. I wish I never met her. To make matters worse, the bitch went on Mindy Milfords radio show telling the tri-state area details of our sex life, our marriage, our finances, and my friendship with Zion. Shes the tackiest bitch on the planet!

Lucky will always be the love of my life. She just wont let me loveher anymore, and I understand. She takes my calls every now and then and when I do get to talk to her, it brightens up my day every time. She moved on, and shes doing good with her life. Papa was right. She is the one that got away.

And then theres Zion. There is an invisible wall between us now. Zion probably feels like I left him hangin when the heat was on him. Now Im the one being charged, and I see how I could have done so many things differently. It feels like Curtis is still driving a wedge between us, even though hes dead. I feel guilty for killing him, and I think Zion feels guilty somehow, too. I believe that our friendship will weather this storm, though. At least, I hope it does.

I found out after his death that Curtis did talk to the cops and hand over evidence. Zion was right all along. Curtis was a jealous-ass snitch. I felt betrayed by a Judas in my own family. I had doubted Zion when it was Curtis I should have been watchin. Zion has his own charges hes facingmoney laundering, conspiracy, witness tamperingplus the grand jury is deliberating about whether to charge him with Donovans murder. My attorney says that without Curtis testimony, the DA cant build a case against either one of us in connection with what happened to Donovan. But if it comes down to it, will Zion ride with me? I aint too sure. Only time will tell. But I do know that I always have to keep one eye open and stay one step ahead of everyone else. Thats one of the many lessons Ive learned on this journey called life.