Amanda M. Lee [Lee - On Deadline & Under Fire

W hat are you doing out here?

I found my grandfather kicking huge piles of leaves behind the restaurant he owned, a scowl on his face. His brow was large and often seemed over pronounced, at times reminding me of Frankensteins monster. This was one of those times.

He flicked his eyes to me, clearly surprised to be caught doing well, whatever it was he was doing. What are you doing out here?

I asked you first.

I asked you second.

First come, first served.

Grandpa. He thumped his chest. Granddaughter. He pointed at me.

Fine. Be that way. I rolled my eyes and sucked in a breath. Have you ever considered that I merely came out here to check on you? I mean you are my grandfather. I have your very best interests at heart.

Oh, who are you trying to snow? Grandpa was clearly in a bad mood and I doubted very much it was because the weather looked to be taking a turn. Thats why I was in a bad mood. I hated winter with a fiery passion. He actually liked it because it meant more snowmobilers and skiers visiting the restaurant. Apparently he preferred money to climate comfort.

I was telling the truth.

Is this like the time you painted Avery Shaw rules on the side of my shed and claimed you put it there because you wanted me to be happy about how much you ruled?

That seemed a loaded question. I believe that I told you I didnt paint that. It couldve been anyone. I cant think of a single person who doesnt know that I rule.

And I believe I told you that you needed to work on your lying.

Ugh. He was so much work. I didnt understand how anyone could put up with him. I was a lot of work, too. I recognized that. People enjoyed their work when it came to me, though. Er, well, at least I enjoyed myself when others were working. Yeah, that was a more truthful statement.

Why are we even talking about this? I decided to switch tactics. Im out here because youre my favorite grandfather. That should make you happy.

Oh, knock it off. Grandpa turned back to the overbearing pile of leaves and frowned. Youre out here because your aunt told your mother that you and Jake were caught making out behind the school earlier today and your mother is on a human reproductive explanation kick that would have the Vatican kicking her out of the Church.

I still maintain that Aunt Evil couldnt have seen that because we were very well hidden.

Uh-huh.

I also maintain that she shouldnt have tattled on me like a great big tattle-taler of doom, I added.

Well, Ill give you that one, Grandpa conceded. No one likes a snitch.

Im going to pay her back.

Im sure you will.

Its going to be mean and nasty, and not like that time she told Uncle Tim that she caught chlamydia from the toilet seat. Its going to be much nastier than that.

Grandpa snorted. If youre trying to get me to say that youre going to crush her I know how important winning is to you you wont get a lot of argument from me today. She doesnt have the brains to take you on. Tattling was a mistake.

Especially since we have no idea what she was doing by the school, I said. I heard shes been taking biology lessons from the science teacher.

Really? Grandpa was intrigued as he arched an eyebrow. Do you have proof of that?

No, but Ill get it. I dont care if I have to brave sub-zero temperatures in the dead of winter. I will get my proof and then I will blow her out of the water.

Im looking forward to the attempt. Grandpa ran the back of his hand over his neck as he slid me a sidelong look. Hey do you want to make five dollars?

Was that a joke? No.

Come on. Youre always complaining you dont have enough money.

Yes, but I know you, I supplied. Youre going to ask me to do something ridiculous to earn five bucks and I only do ridiculous things if theyre for free and I can make someone I dislike cry.

Grandpa heaved out a sigh. That is true. In fact, thats one of my favorite things about you.

That I can make people cry?

That you can do it and feel no guilt, yeah.

Well, Im a master at that. I rubbed my hands together to ward off the chill. Seriously, what are you doing out here?

The township inspector just came by. Grandpa handed me a small piece of paper, which until he mentioned it, I hadnt noticed despite it being clutched in his hand. Theyre going to fine me if I dont get these leaves out of here.

No wonder he was hanging in the great outdoors. The township bigwigs were trying to bring him down. He always hated when that happened. It made him want to drink and kick things and throw bread. Thankfully I liked watching him do all those things.

This is a lot of leaves, I said after a beat. Youre going to need a lot of bags to get rid of them.

I know. Im also going to need someone to do the bagging because Im not going to do it.

I didnt blame him there. If youre only offering five bucks, youll need one of the stupid grandkids. I suggest Derrick.

Grandpa snorted. Derrick isnt stupid enough to clean up all these leaves for five bucks.

He is if you tell him youre paying fifty bucks.

I dont have fifty bucks to spare.

Wait until after its done to tell him you accidentally added a zero to the number, I suggested.

Grandpa groaned. That is a terrible idea. Come on. Think! You have a diabolical mind. You must know someone stupid enough to clean up these leaves for five bucks.

I didnt know anyone daft enough to even walk outside the restaurant and consider dealing with these leaves for five dollars. He was going to have to go a different route. You know, the notice doesnt say you have to bag them. It just says you have to get rid of them.

Grandpa cocked an eyebrow. So?

So, for five bucks you can get a bottle of lighter fluid and we can burn them.

Appalled, Grandpa made a strangled sound in the back of his throat. I cant burn them. It could get out of hand. Its windy today.

Not if we watch the fire and keep it contained.

But . Even though he didnt want to agree with me, the look Grandpa shot in my direction was full of intrigue. We could get in trouble if were caught.

Thats why we wait until after dark so no one can see the smoke. Thankfully for us, it gets dark at, like, 5 p.m. these days. No one will even see.

I dont know, Grandpa hedged. Technically this is probably against several laws.

Since when do you care about that?

Since I promised your grandmother I wouldnt spend Christmas in jail this year. Shes still upset about that Santa Claus kerfuffle from last year. How was I supposed to know the township hired him?

You couldve asked before you kicked him in the knee.

Nuts.

I was trying to give you an out.

Yeah, well, you know how I feel when people laugh too loudly, Grandpa complained. That guy sounded like a hyena.