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G R Matthews [Matthews - Too Short

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Too Short

By G R Matthews


Textcopyright G R Matthews 2013

All Rights Reserved


In memory of

Brian Tomlinson

Not only did yougive me your daughter for a wife, you taught me:

- that there is never mushroom (muchroom) inside any building, object or space

- that garlic gave you wind butthen so did cheese, bread, and BBQ food

- how big a repair job was by thenumber of cable ties needed to put it back together

- you dont need to speak French inFrance, a good pointing finger will suffice

- to enjoy whiskey and whisky(there is a difference)

- how to choose Red Wine from theselection on the shelf (pick the one from the emptiest shelf thats what allthe locals drink)


Table of Contents

ESCAPOLOGY
1.

Zaruns swordcleaved the goblin in two, green blood sprayed in a graceful arc to splatteragainst his white tabard. A dance to the left and his other sword impaled asecond goblin, its lifeless body slipping cleanly off the oiled metal surface.He parried the strike of a third goblin and despatched it quickly then risked aglance to his left to determine how his friends were faring against the hordethat had attacked them out of nowhere.

Eyes open! The shout was awarning and an incandescent spark of fire flashed past him to incinerateanother goblin.

Zarun nodded his thanks to Gassum,the mage who had thrown the fireball. Taking a renewed grip on his two shortswords he stepped gracefully back into the fight. His swords were a relentless windmill,rising and falling rhythmically, grinding away at multitude of goblins allaround him. Green blood covered the floor, the flagstones turning slippery butstill he was surefooted and unstoppable. One goblin managed a lucky slash thatopened the flesh of his upper thigh. Even as his sword stabbed out in revenge,Edoclans healing magic dulled the pain and knitted the flesh back togetherleaving only the ragged line in his armoured leather trousers as evidence ofhis mortality. Within a few moments the battle was done and the friends werestanding in a field of slaughtered monsters.

They look like children, dontthey? Edoclan was the first to speak in the aftermath.

What they lack in size, they makeup for in numbers, Gassum replied pointedly.

The important thing is, they aredead and we are alive. Now, lets move on we have to be out of here and set upa camp by nightfall. Zaruns pragmatism prevented the customary argument thatalways followed a fight. Sometimes they were an entertaining diversion but hewas too tired and the hour too late to let the other two descend intobickering.

Itawhics thaster exum despatlicceefoo tyhysle

The strange words exploded intoZaruns ears and mind like one of Gassums fireballs. He reacted with instinct,not thought. Both swords seemed to leap from their scabbards, strappedcrosswise to his back, to meet his hands. He sank into a fighting crouch and,spinning full circle, checked every angle of approach. There was nothing to beseen, but the words left him in a cold sweat.

What the hell are you doing?Gassums voice was clipped with impatience.

Didnt you hear that? he replied.

Hear what? Can we get a move on,youre the one who said we had to get out of here. Gassum was already movingoff, leaving a puzzled Zarun to re-sheath his swords and follow.

2.

Near the bottom ofthe complex of cells and torture rooms, Zarun was struggling to carry Gassumand escape the enemy troops that followed. Beside him, Edoclan was faringlittle better and blood was dripping from a wound on the Clerics forehead, asure sign that things were going badly if he could not even muster the power toheal himself.

Turn left at the end, Edoclanpanted.

Theyre gaining you know?

I know, I know just run.

The two of them ran on as fast asthey could, carrying the comatose mage, turning left then right almost atrandom seeking an escape route. All the while the sound of footsteps wasgetting closer and closer.

All right, I know... sheeesh,give me a second wont you?

Zarun shook his head. The voice hadbeen coming clearer and clearer the past few days till, as now, he couldunderstand every word. Hed given up reacting to it and did his best to blotout the burning pain in his mind when the voice spoke, always at times ofstress. Edoclan and Gassum had both tried different spells, over the last fewdays, to see where it was coming from but with no success. The only impact hadbeen the looks on his friends faces when he told them he was hearing a voice.Still, they trusted him and did not make too much of it, stranger things hadbeen known in this world.

Im out, Edoclans voice was dulland lifeless, we either fight here or surrender.

Ill put Gassum down out of theway. You take up position to the right side of the door and Ill do my best tohold it. If they push me back, use your mace and brain them. He followed hisown instructions. You ready?

3.

The rats had learntto keep away from him. The pile of little corpses near his feet acted as abarrier and warning to them. It still surprised him that he had killed so manyin just three days, and mainly with his feet. Edoclan and Gassum each had theirown little mounds of death but theirs were much smaller than his. It was whenyou were asleep that the rats got confident and would chance a scurry up yourleg to nibble on any exposed flesh. With your arms permanently raised aboveyour head by chains secured to an iron ring set deep in the wall, the onlyweapons you had left were your legs and teeth. At least if you bit their furrylittle bodies it was something to eat.

I told you I would do it, and Iwill. Five minutes peace and quiet, eh?

Gassum, you still with us? Zarunasked to distract himself from the voice.

I am, the quiet, raspy response,and before you ask, no. I still cant release the chains.

Well, its done isnt it?...You could have told me before I started, couldnt you?

Zarun hadascertained over the past days of imprisonment that there was only one voiceand that, for some reason, it always seemed irritated or annoyed. He couldnever make out whether the voice was male or female, though he suspected male,or why it was constantly angry. If anyone had reason to be angry, it was Zarun.He had been in some prison cells in his time but this one was the worst. Itwasnt just the rats; it was the damp, the cold, the lack of food but most ofall it was the lack of threats from the guards. You knew where you were when aguard threatened you. It gave you a distraction and something to fight against.It kept you sane. But here, the guards didnt speak, they just walked theirpatrol routes, armour and swords clanking in a discordant rhythm that he founddeeply unsettling.

Edoclan, how about you, anyprogress? Zarun turned to his left and, if anything, the Cleric looked inworse shape than Gassum.

Im working on it.

Three days, my friend. Youve beensaying that for three days.

When the chains fall off my armsyoull know Ive worked it out, Edoclan sounded peevish, until then give me abit of peace and quiet.

Yeah, yeah, Ill be up in aminute. Bloody hell, no peace and quiet anymore, bloody kids.

4.

Zarun would neverunderestimate the stupidity of prison guards again. As soon as Edoclan hadmanaged to free himself from the manacles and chains, losing a fair amount offlesh in the process, Zarun and Gassum were free too. At the sound of theguards footsteps, they formed a simple plan. Zarun hid in the shadowed cornerand the other two pretended to be still restrained. The guard, obviously not believinghis own eyes, opened the cell door and rushed in to investigate. Three againstone were good odds for the friends and shortly they had a full set of keys, asword, a knife and, more importantly, a guards uniform. Escape was going to beeasy.

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