Jamie Buckingham - The Truth Will Set You Free... But First It Will Make You Miserable

Jamie and I have spent a lot of years walking around the kingdom. But as long as I can remember, hes always been several steps ahead of me. Thats the reason I agreed to write this foreword. For once, I want to be first.

No matter whether we are taking a walk down our front drive to the mailbox, making our way through a crowded convention hall, leaving church and crossing the parking lot to the carIm always at least two steps behind my in-a-hurry husband.

When I first complained about this several years ago, Jamie quickly pointed out this was an accepted practice in the Orient. He reminded me of the dinner we had in a posh restaurant in Seoul, Korea, with famed pastor Yonggi Cho. When the meal was over. Pastor Cho headed for the door, his good wife ten steps behind. The only time he stopped was when he reached the doorwaiting for his wife to catch up so she could open it for him.

Jamies not like that. Hes just preoccupied. And in a hurry. And besides, he walks faster than I.

Maybe Im slow because of the kind of shoes I wearshoes made for standing and sitting, definitely not for walking, and certainly not for the kind of walking I have to do to keep up with my husband.

But its more than that. Jamies legs are longer than mine. When we both walk at our natural pace, he simply goes faster, as a horse walks faster than a pony. To stay together, either he has to slow downor I have to trot. And up to this time neither of us has been willing to adjust our gait.

So I walk behind.

Jamie is goal-oriented. By that I mean when we hit the sidewalk he doesnt like to stop. I like to look in shop windows. When we walk into a department store he heads immediately for the place he intends to go: underwear, automotive parts, light bulbs or shotgun shells.

Me, I love to linger. I always pause and look at the first thing I see when I come through the doorusually something flimsy and feminine, or something for the grandchildren. When I look up, my husband is five aisles away, striding militantly past all those beautiful lamps and bedspreads, his eyes fixed on the hardware shelf like a batter trying to stretch a long single into a double.

All the while Im back at home plate, chatting with the umpire about uniform styles for next season.

The same is true when we take one of our strolls in the woods or down a deserted beach. Sure, there are many times when he walks beside me, holding my handbut those are the times when he needs to talk from his heart. The rest of the time I stroll and he marches, or jogs. That means the best I can enjoy of my husband is his backside which, now in the latter half of his fifth decade, is not necessarily the most attractive part of his anatomy.

This used to irritate me. In fact, there were times when I would drop behind on purpose, just to make him slow down and notice me.

One time on a long walk through the North Carolina woods, I waited until he had marched around the next bend in the trail, then I turned around and went back to the house. He showed up thirty minutes later, marveling at how I had gotten in front of him and beat him home. He never seemed to realize he had taken our walk by himself.

Poor thing, he always has his mind on other things.

The problem is intensified when we take a drive together. Ive learned to keep pencil and paper handy, for he is constantiy asking for a notebook to jot down ideas that come to himusually while were speeding along the highway or making our way through city traffic.

I cant tell you how many times Ive held the steering wheel and guided us along an interstate highway while he has written down some budding idea. Weve even done it on the way to church meetings on Sunday morning as hes revised his sermon, written down the words of a song or remembered something he wanted to tell someone.

I suggested it would be much easier if I drove and he wrote. But the idea of my being in the passenger seat somehow makes him feel he is in controleven if Im the one with my hand on the wheel.

Thats pretty much the story of our lives together. Hes the head of the home, but he doesnt mind when I remind folks that Im the neck that turns the head. Actually, Im more than the neck. Im also the backbone that keeps him standing, the heart that keeps him feeling and the hand that pulls his foot out of his mouth.

However, I have resigned myself to the fact that when I walk with Jamie I will always be about two steps behind. Although there have been times when I felt he had left me to make my own way through life, I now realize we have always been, in a real sense, together. He leads the way. I follow in his footstepspicking up the things he drops, or kicks over.

Walking behind my husband is an ideal place. From here I give him little shovesto encourage him when he hesitates doing what God has told him to do. From this perspective I am able to nudge him in the right direction when he is tempted to stray off the path.

Little nudges from behind, I have discovered, are far more effective than playing the role of the bossy wife who tries to change her husbands direction by nagging and complaining.