Buckingham - The modern girls guide to life

To Marcus:

Because every Modern Girl should be lucky enough to have one

Every Modern Girl needs a little help from her friends, and this girl required more than most:

First, to those who have loved Modern Girl since she was born and have asked for more and stayed loyal to her and me: I cant tell you how much that means. I thank you so much for loving her as much as I do.

Riann Smith is so much of the heart, soul, and body of this book (and boy, what a body). If you loved this book, much of it is her spirit that you are loving. To say I couldnt have done it without her is a huge understatement.

Emma Stevens Smith, Kristin Jones, and Jessica Blumenthal made updating this book as much fun as a weekend at the beach, literally. I couldn't have done this, or practically anything else in my life, without them. I wish I could have them as my sisters; I feel very lucky to call them my friends.

Liz Gray, Romi Lassally, and Renee Lee gave me ideas, edits, and so much support and helped me keep the trains rollingand occasionally put them back on the tracks.

Kaye Kramer believed there was still more Modern Girl to come. Turns out she was right. Thank you for always being such a supportive friend.

Kara Zauberman managed to decipher my scribbles and inserts. Shes no editorshes psychic. Thank you.

Kristin Bennett knows how to find information better than any detective or government agency. There are tips and tricks she found that make this book a hundred times stronger than it would have been without her. I can never thank her enough for her devotion and time.

Jen Furmaniak is a Modern Girl to her soul. She doesnt need to read about this stuffshe lives it. Her edits, intolerance of vagueness, and wry sense of humor made every chapter stronger.

Joni Evans took up where my mother left off. I wouldnt dare ask her how to darn a sock, but her guidance, support, wisdom, and love mean more than a million book advances ever could. To call her an agent sounds clich. To call her a mom would piss her off. So well leave it at fairy godmother.

Andi McNicol showed me how to convince a generation of prepared women that my generation needed a book like this. Without a proposal there would have been no book. Without Andi, there would have been no proposal. She continues to endlessly support me and my ideas. Weve grown in this business. Ive gotten older, shes gotten wiser.

Thank you, Justin Ongert and Richard Weitz, for getting me and Modern Girl back on the air. Oh, dont stress. Im patient.

Cassie Jones has stuck with me for years. And I am eternally grateful for her loyalty to me and to Modern Girl.

She was more than an editor; she was a miniMartha Stewart, coming up with facts, tips, and insights I would never have thought of.

Kary McHoul believed in Modern Girl when everyone else thought I was nuts. Without her, Modern Girl may have never seen the light of day.

Rebecca McQuigg not only found great tips but helped me find time to write the darn thing.

Julie and Mark Rowen are the Modern Couple one would love to bewith a perfect son, Luke, to match. And Karen and Ben Sherwood are inspirations in so many ways.

Kate White showed me that you can hold down a full-time job, raise two wonderful kids, and write books on the side. I still dont know how she does it.

To Mindy, Mark, Melanie, Dianne, and everyone else at Style and E! who helped bring The Modern Girl to life, thanks for believing in it the way you did.

My close friends Debbie Hutman, Clare Ramsey, Barbara Coulon, Melissa Thomas, Dana Oliver, Andrea Brokaw, Amanda Freeman, and Danyelle Freeman helped keep me honest and sane, and each provided nuggets I was amazed to learn.

Linda and Mitch Hart offer the kind of love and support every child dreams of. Im so lucky to have found them. I only hope they didnt read the chapter on sex!

Dad, Beth, and Paul, unfortunately I still cant cook.... Thanks for tolerating endless Chinese food.

My mother-in-law, Jo, and sister-in-law, Pippa, helped me without making me feel inadequate. Pretty amazing. Im lucky to have them in my life.

My brother, Michael, supports me in everything I do, everything I forget to do, and for just being me. Could a Modern Girl ask for more?

My children, Jack and Lilia, make being a modern mom far more important than being a Modern Girl. I love you. You were so little when this book came out. And ten years later I couldnt be more proud of who youve become.

Marcus. I could fill a book with acknowledgments to you. For love, for support, for being my everythingand for always forgiving (or not noticing) my incompetence. I love you even more today than I did ten years ago.

And to my mom, how I wish you could be here. I love you.

All right, this is hard to admit, but I know very little. Well, thats not exactly true. I know a lot about finding a good job, getting ahead in business, and dealing with corporate politics. Ive started and sold one successful company and someday may start another. I can tell you the designer must-have boots for the seasonand which knockoffs look exactly the same. But I wont watch Nigella Lawson, Katie Brown, or any other kitchen maven because they terrify me, and I live in fear that my mother-in-law will recognize my complete failings as a wife and mother and encourage my fabulous husband to dump me for someone who majored in home ec. I dread the day my son asks me whether all families eat out of Chinese food containers three nights a week. So no matter how many promotions I get, no matter how adorable the family photos, no matter how witty my cocktail conversation, I will always feel like a failure.

And Im not the only one. This new dirty little secret pervades women in their twenties and thirties. While my generation was being bred to be superwomen and shoot up the corporate ladder, no one bothered to teach us how to clean the ladder, fix the broken rungs, or look presentable when we reached the top. I blame my mother. Now, mind you, she couldnt have been a better mother. She gave me confidence, an education, ambition, and unconditional love. She just refused to teach me how to iron (Iron? Thats what held women back! she would say), or make a bed properly, or stock a pantry, or pick out a decent bra that fit.

Yet ironically, we motivated women of the new millennium are finding that while we know how to bring home the bacon, we dont have the slightest clue how to fry it up in a pan. And while Im certainly not saying we want to backslide into the domestic misery of the fifties, there is a renewed emphasis on niceties like arranging flowers, creating a welcoming guest room, or having at least one recipe we can impress a date with. Thats not even counting the triumphs weve achieved. We can buy our own jewelry (if only we knew how to not get ripped off), art (ditto), and insurance (but what does a gal really need?), and were supposed to know how to change a tire (but isnt that what AAAs for?).

Were not trying to be June Cleaver. Were just trying to get by.

So enter The Modern Girls Guide to Life. Its everything busy women need to know in one place. It gives answers to the questions youre too embarrassed to ask and most reference books assume you already know (yup, it takes three minutes to soft-boil an egg, eight to hard-boil). Its information that can help you feel more refined, more in charge, more together. Its learning the basicsand just a bit beyond. Its giving you the shortcuts without making you feel as if you cheated (like putting a few drops of Clorox in a vase to help those flowers last longer, since no one really changes the water every other day). Its dispelling the myths that we need to abolish. (Did you know that you are not supposed to send a thank-you note if youve thanked the giver in person? Thank-you notes, according to Miss Manners, are meant to acknowledge gifts that have not been acknowledged... not waste time and countless forests.)