Charles MacPherson - The Pocket Butler: A Compact Guide to Modern Manners, Business Etiquette and Everyday Entertaining

COPYRIGHT 2015 CHARLES MACPHERSON ASSOCIATES INC.

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Print ISBN: 978-0-449-01680-0
e-book ISBN: 978-0-449-01681-7

Cover image: ImageZoo/Corbis

Published in Canada by Appetite by Random House,
A division of Random House of Canada Limited,
A Penguin Random House Company

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v3.1

To my father,
Robert William MacPherson.
Businessman, bon vivant, teacher and raconteur.

I HAVE SERVED AS MAJOR-DOMO for prominent families around the world, offering household help and staff training services in countless countries. It is my belief that there is no political or business leader, dignitary, king or queen, or movie star who can manage without domestic professionals in the wings. What a really good butler knows are the secrets of the trade that simplify housekeeping and entertaining at home. Its the little luxuriessimple human kindness, decency and attention to detailthat make a dinner memorable or that turn a house into a home.

Following the success of my first book, The Butler Speaks: A Return to Proper Etiquette, Stylish Entertaining and the Art of Good Housekeeping, I was consistently surprised by the feedback I received from readers. Although there was great interest in the domestic housekeeping section of the book, the questions I was asked most often related to etiquette and entertaining. I began to see the need for a more compact reference guide that would help readers share in the small pleasures available to all of us. I envisioned a book that would be geared towards young professionals, people who love to entertain and anyone looking to increase their comfort, social skills and knowledge in these areas. And I wanted to write something that would be well-loved and thumbed through time and time again. The renowned cook Julia Child once told me that her favourite part of signing her readers cookbooks was seeing all the messy, food-splattered pages. She loved knowing that her books were cherished and used often. After a great bottle of wine with my publisher, Robert, we decided to pursue this ideaan easy-to-follow book that would be a definitive and helpful resource that readers could truly make their own. And so, The Pocket Butler was born! Because, no matter who you are, you can conduct a more productive social life (and a more productive career, too) with tips and tricks learned from a professional butler.

I consider myself lucky indeed to have worked as a butler for more than twenty-six years. I have had the opportunity to watch the most incredible events unfold within the walls of famous and opulent households around the world. How many people get the chance to witness a dinner in the state dining room of Buckingham Palace? Or stay in the private residence of the renowned Htel du Marc, owned by Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin? Or spend hours flying at 35,000 feet in a Gulfstream V with a celebrity? Butlers and household managers work hard, but in return, we are offered rare glimpses of the daily lives of the rich and famous.

But perhaps youre wondering what that has to do with you. As busy working people, you and I have many demands and stresses in our lives that we need to overcome. Thats where I come in. Just as you would seek medical or legal help for a problem, I am the professional who has insight into how to make entertaining and manners a natural part of your life. These social skills are the competitive advantages the rich and famous use every day, and you can use them too.

The famous designer Oscar de la Renta (19322014)taught me one of the most important lessons of my professional life. When asked, What is luxury? his response was this: Luxury is a feeling. He went on to explain that paying a high price to be served a cup of coffee in a fancy hotel by an employee who pays no attention to you is not luxury because it doesnt make you feel special; rather, you leave disappointed. In contrast, buying a cheaper coffee prepared by a vendor who gives you his undivided attention makes you feel appreciated and acknowledged. That is good service. That is luxury.

Luxury can be had by anyone at any time, and given to anyone at any time, because its about making someone feel welcomed, cherished and looked after. And if you can master this concept, success in both your business and personal life is sure to follow.

Charles P. MacPherson

W E LIVE IN A TIME when technology is taking over our lives. We used to spend every evening breaking bread with friends and family at the dinner table, but the demands of modern living are such that, for many of us, dinner is picked up from a drive-through window while rushing to a kids soccer practice. Home entertainment is more about microwaved popcorn and a movie rental, and housekeeping is that Sunday afternoon scramble to do laundry and tidy up before another busy workweek begins. Similarly, rules of social decorum have fallen by the wayside, and fewer people seem to realize the true value of proper etiquette and how it can enrich our daily lives and social interactions. Though we are lucky to have so many amenities at our fingertips, never before has there been a time when we needed professional guidance moreon manners and etiquette, on how to entertain with style and on how to manage our homes in a way that provides a greater quality of life and results in happiness.

Many people feel that having proper manners means being stuffy and pretentious, but Im here to tell you that nothing could be further from the truth! You can be well-mannered, cultured and a great home entertainer while being yourselfin fact, theres no other way to be. For me, etiquette is not a set of classist rules for rich, famous or snobby people; rather, its a way of being, based on understanding other people and having consideration for their needs. Letitia Baldrige (19252012), the doyenne of American etiquette, once told me her definition of etiquette. She defined it as how we act at the breakfast table when sitting with family; how we speak to the bus driver on our way to work; or how we speak to someone like our mother-in-law when she is driving us a little crazy. What she was suggesting is that etiquette applies to everyonein any social interaction. Dont worry about memorizing rigid Victorian rules and outdated codes of conduct. Instead, work to adapt these core principles to fit your daily life, whatever that may include.