Burrell - In the Royal Manner Expert Advice on Etiquette and Entertaining from the Former Butler to Diana, Princess of Wales: Paul Burrell

Copyright 1999 by Paul Burrell

All rights reserved.

Warner Books, Inc.,

Hachette Book Group, 237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

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First eBook Edition: November 1999

ISBN: 978-0-446-55354-4

The Warner Books name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

Photography by Simon Smith, assisted by Christopher Morris Food styling by Kathryn Hawkins, assisted by Sally Prong

Photographic styling by Clare Louise Hunt Food historian Joan P Alcock Book design by DW Design

For Maria, Alexander and Nicholas, who make my life complete

D URING MY TWKNTY-TWO YEARS OF SERVICE to the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh, and the Prince and Princess of Wales, I have been fortunate to witness the ultimate in stylish and elegant entertaining, from private and intimate family occasions at Sandringham and Highgrove to grand and lavish State Banquets for presidents, kings and queens. My memories of such events have led me to write this book, and share with you my experiences.

My upbringing was a far cry from the luxury of Buckingham Palace. I was born into an ordinary working-class family and lived in a small terraced house in the village of Grassmoor, a coal-mining community in the north of England. I vividly remember visiting London for the first time with my family when I was eight years old. Over the years I have often been reminded that while watching the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace, I turned to my parents and said, One day I'm going to work here.

However, it was not until recently that I discovered that it was my mother who chose my destiny, for which I will always be grateful. At her funeral, standing by her graveside, my younger brother turned to me and said, There is something you should know, Paul

He told me of an incident which had happened many years previously, while I was away at college. I had asked my mother to open all my mail during my absence. Two letters arrived on the same day, one bearing the Royal crest and offering me a position as a footman in the Royal household, the other from Cunard offering me a position as steward on board the QEII. Fearing that I might choose a life at sea, my mother burned the letter from Cunard on the coal fire, swearing my brother to secrecy for the rest of her life. It was a very poignant moment.

And so it was that at the age of eighteen I joined the staff of Buckingham Palace as a household footman, and my new life and career began.

After only a year, I became the Queen's personal footman, and soon began travelling with her and Prince Philip to almost every corner of the world. My experiences of Royal tours will remain with me for the rest of my life. From walking along the Great Wall of China with the Queen, to a visit to the remote South Pacific Island of Tuvalu aboard the Royal Yacht Britannia, or a visit to the Tutankhamun exhibition in Cairo with the Princess of Waleseach tour was unique and holds very special memories.

On one official visit to Saudi Arabia the Sultan's advisers ushered me into a cupboard in the Royal apartments before the Sultan and the Queen arrived. Apparently it was not protocol for staff to be in the Royal presence. Imagine Her Majesty's surprise when she had occasion to open the cupboard door, only to find me inside looking totally bemused!

On all our visits we were treated to sumptuous banquets where exotic foods such as truffles and caviar would be served on the finest china and silver. However, in complete contrast and in line with local traditions and customs, we were also encouraged to sample the more acquired taste of delicacies the most memorable being sheep's eyes and monkey's brains served on banana leaves and coconut palms.

Entertaining in the Royal Household was more conventional. I attended and participated in the organization of Her Majesty's State Banquets and receptions for world leaders and heads of state, including the visits of President and Mrs Reagan at Windsor Castle, and the visit of his Holiness Pope John Paul II at Buckingham Palace.

In 1987, I was asked by the Prince and Princess of Wales to join their household at Highgrove House in Gloucestershire. I became butler to the most famous couple in the world and was responsible for their private entertaining both at home and abroad, and on official and private visits. Five years later, when the Royal couple sadly separated, the Princess was asked to compile a list of everything she would wish to take from Highgrove to her apartment at Kensington Palace. Much later I learned that at the top of her wish list was my name.

For me, the Princess was the personification of style, and it was my privilege to serve and know such a unique and inspirational human being. From her I learnt that simplicity is often the most tasteful and attractive approach to entertaining. I remained in her service until her tragic death in the late summer of 1997.

My career within the Royal Households was extraordinary. I was given so many opportunities to see the world and experience situations which I could otherwise have only imagined. I poured vintage wines into crystal glasses, served delicious food from silver platters on to, fine bone china, and decorated rooms and tables with beautiful flowers.

As recognition of my service to the Royal Family, I was decorated by the Queen with the Royal Victorian Medal at an investiture at Buckingham Palace in November 1997. I will treasure this proud moment, which I shared with my family, for the rest of my life, in the knowledge that I am the only person to have been awarded the RVM for services to Diana, Princess of Wales.

With this book, I will take you on a guided tour throughout the year and show you new ways of entertaining for every season and almost every situation. It is an honour to share with you my personal insights and unique knowledge, which I hope will eliminate all the stress and formality from entertaining. It is my sincere wish that you will enjoy entertaining with style.

Style is not the exclusive preserve of the rich and famous. Style can be achieved by anyone and is often most effective when simply executed. We all entertain; it may be as simple as inviting a friend for lunch or dinner at home, as special as a family gathering at Christmas, a christening or a wedding, or as challenging as a children's party. Whether we entertain on a simple level or with lavish flair depends on our individual style and how we want to show our hospitality, and also on the strength of our budget. So it is very important to plan your entertaining properly, and I will take you through the steps to ensure that your party is a success.

First, have a clear idea of the kind of event you want to hold, and who you would like to invite. This is the best way of working out how much it is going to cost and, of course, the numbers you will be catering for. The budget is obviously a great consideration for us all.

Once you have decided on the format of your party, you are then ready to send out the invitations. Make sure you clearly state the venue address, the time of arrival and any dress code (if appropriate). Printed invitations are necessary for formal events, but for a casual at home or a family get-together a simple telephone call will suffice. Always mention the dress code there is nothing more embarrassing than arriving at a function in the wrong clothes.