Jane Buckingham - The Modern Girls Guide to Sticky Situations

I am no stranger to sticky situations.

I could fill the pages of Vogue s massive fall fashion issue with all my cringeworthy foibles. There was the time when my good friend in high school slept with my boyfriendbecause I wouldnt (and then I had to determine whether to uninvite her from my sweet sixteen). Or the time I angered a group of very politicaland hormonalwomen with my advice on breast-feeding (I believe that whether a woman chooses to breast-feed is up to her and no one else).

One of the stickiest situations in which Ive found myself concernedof all peoplethe countrys florists. Gentle, creative types who spend their days in gardening gloves, listening to classical music, seem unlikely to cause trouble, but arent the toughest situations often the most insidious ones? After all, trouble is only trouble when it catches us unprepared.

Heres what happened: I wrote a book called The Modern Girls Guide to Life , which offered lifestyle tips aimed at turning the domestically challenged into domestic (demi)goddesses. In the book, I suggested bringing something other than cut flowers as a hostess gift when attending a party, since cut flowers require the hostess to stop whatever shes doing and come up with a vase and some water to put them in. Who needs yet another task in the middle of all the other pre-party panic, when the hors doeuvres are burning and the ice cubes are melting and the guests are ignoring one another?

Shortly after the book was published, I received a letter from the florists association. Dear Ms. Buckingham, it read, On behalf of the 45,000 florists of America, were very upset with your suggestion. Actually, upset was putting it mildlythey were furious. They went on to say, As florists, we are simply trying to bring a little bit of joy into peoples lives!

You might think I would dismiss such a note with a laugh, but I really felt terrible. I had never meant to offend florists! I love flowers! And despite the fact that my book was selling well, I was still surprised that anyone had actually read it! Could what I had to say actually hurt people? Once Id choked the sickening feeling in my stomach with a handful of Tums, I forwarded the letter to my husband, Marcus, along with a note: Do you think I should send them some flowers? Instead, I sent a sincere, handwritten apology.

Humor is often the best way to deal with an uncomfortable predicament, and of course time heals many wounds. But sometimes a girl needs to be told exactly what to do in a difficult situation. And thats where this book comes in.

You know that moment when you just want to scream, Help?

When you wish you could light a flare and wait for an airplane full of Coast Guard studs to shimmy down from a helicopter and rescue you? We all know sometimes a girl just has to face things on her own. But what if she justcant?

This is the book to grab when youre pulling your hair out, screaming like a banshee, blubbering with frustration, or hyperventilating into a panic because you just dont know what to do .

Fear not; no problem is too bigor too smallfor the Modern Girl. Catch your mates man cheating? Weve got the answer. Souffl imploded? You can still dish it out with style. Skeevy authority figure hitting on you? Well help you ward him off sans drama.

This is the book to turn to when you have nowhere to turn, or are simply too embarrassed to turn anywhere (publicly). A book that answers the sorts of question youd only feel comfortable posing to your best friend, but which only your mom, or grandma, or gynecologist, or cleaning ladyokay, any woman who secretly intimidates the hell out of youknows the answer to.

We live in a culture of prevention. Take your vitamins! Do your sit-ups! But were also a country of procrastinators. What a lethal combination. This contradiction between nature and culture leads to lots of everyday emergencies we dont feel qualified to handle, because were supposed to have prevented them in the first place! So we panic.

Of course everyone means to do a little spot cleaning each morning after breakfast, but what if you just havent felt like it for a week or so and thensurprise!your boyfriends mom decides to make a special appearance? (Someone needs to explain to me why its so much easier to commit to wearing clean underwear than to spraying Tilex daily.)

The good news is this: Most hideous predicaments are not the end of the world. This book is a collection of quick fixesan industrial-sized crate of metaphorical fire extinguishers, if you will. Its not meant to replace responsible behavior (for some idea of what that entails, check out The Modern Girls Guide to Life ), but to be a stack of get-out-of-jail-free cards for the deserving gal with the best intentions and a moment of bad luck.

Sticky situations come up whether youre toiling away in your cubicle or tooling around the house, trying to be the life of the party or trying to throw the party of a lifetime. And so this collection of solutions is a mix of silly and serious, just like life.

The Modern Girls Guide to Sticky Situations is organized by situation, so solutions are easy to find. It also has a pretty amazing index in the back, so you can find your particular dilemma no matter where or when it happens. And just so you know, there is no judgment here. We know one girls drama is another ones daily life; trauma is subjective. Isnt it just the worst when you finally muster up the courage to ask a friend for help and her steely response is, Whats the big deal? (Cue eye roll.) Now you wont have to worry about being judged for hating the five pounds only you can see. Or being obsessed with the invisible mold in your bathroom, the stretch marks you swear are all over your boobs, or the way your boss looks at you when hes talking to his wife.

You might be wondering how one woman can be an expert on both babies and bay windows. Unless shes Rosie the Robot from The Jetsons, she probably cant. But Ive never once called myself an expert. Rather, I fancy myself a filteran information curator of sorts. My office is filled with sticky notes covered in info tidbitsthe same tidbits that fill the margins of this book. The ideas in this book come from experts, friends, experience, the process of writing my first three books and running my trend-forecasting company, and my own badand good!luck. Its as much for myself as for my readers that I decided to gather all the lifesaving information Ive come across over the years into one place.

So think of this book as your own personal stash of missile defense codes, your vial of snake venom antidote, your get-out-of-jail-free card. Just when you think all is lost, here comes the Modern Girls Guide to save the day.