Sam Stall - Exploding Kittens--A Field Guide to Unusual Cats

2020 Exploding Kittens, Inc.

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First Edition: June 2020

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2019951022

ISBN: 978-0-7624-9744-7 (hardcover), 978-0-7624-9745-4 (ebook)

E3-20200417-JV-NF-ORI

It wasnt so long ago that the only people interested in Exploding Kittens were cat breeders and ordinance experts. But, recently, the general public has become fascinated with these captivating creatures, many of which possess the powers to defy the laws of biology, physics, and even common sense.

Unlike conventional felines, which confine their activities to eating, sleeping, and disgorging the occasional hairball, Exploding Kittens can (among a great many other things) fly, swim, predict the future, wield weapons like swords, and pilot armored vehicles. And, of course, some of them explode.

Clearly, we are not dealing with typical cats here. Which is why we have painstakingly prepared, for the first time ever, this essential field guide to better inform enthusiastic but unsuspecting potential owners about each breeds fortes and foibles.

On the following pages we introduce you to forty of the most well-known Exploding Kitten varieties. Why does the Rainbow-Ralphing Cat vomit rainbows? How does one grow a Cattermelon? And is it safe to keep a Catnado in a trailer park? (No, it isnt.) Learn all this and more.

Remember, no Exploding Kittens were harmed in the making of this book. Though the same cannot be said for its editor, whose left pinkie was preternaturally lopped off by a Sword Cat. Were only a little bit sorry.

FOR YOUR SAFETY AND CONVENIENCE, EACH CAT PROFILE OFFERS MUCH (BUT NOT ALL) OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION.

ORIGIN

How did this creature come to be?

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

What color are they? How much do they weigh? Can they fly, swim, or travel in space?

BEHAVIOR

Does your favorite cat suffer from a shy bladder, or lead a dangerous double life?

BREEDING

Do they procreate in the usual way, or via seeds or asexual division? Or can they reproduce at all?

WHERE TO FIND THEM

These cats arent exactly pet store staples. Places frequented by the various Exploding Kittens breeds.

WHERE NOT TO FIND THEM

Some paths are best left untraveled.

BENEFITS

Positive attributes, from the gift of prophecy to lawn-care skills.

HOME CARE TIP

Catering to your pets bizarre, even terrifying, needs.

HEALTH

What physical issues (besides exploding) should you worry about?

GROOMING

The best ways to keep your cat in tip-top condition.

USES

A few varieties are actually quite helpful around the house.

FUN FACT

Often amusing, occasionally worrisome, tidbits about particular breeds.

WARNING

For some of these cats, the ever-present threat of spontaneous explosions isnt their only (or even their worst) drawback.

LOOKING FOR A SPECIFIC KIND OF EXPLODING KITTEN? WEVE DIVIDED THEM UP BASED ON THEIR MOST PREVALENT TRAITS.

ATHLETIC

If your idea of a fun morning is a five-mile run, consider the Helicatpter ().

SEDENTARY

Couch potatoes can try the Avocato (). They dont just dislike exercise; theyre physically incapable of doing it.

DANGEROUS

Read about the lava-spitting Volcato ().

EXTREMELY DANGEROUS

If youre not afraid of a slow, painful demise, consider the bloodthirsty Great White Cat ().

BAD

Lock up your belongings and consider taking in an Imposter Cat ().

ATTENTION-GRABBING

Hit the beach with Bikini Cat ().

FOOD-THEMED

Numerous breeds are as succulent-sounding as they are cute. Theres the burger-like Royale with Fleas (). Warning: All these cats are, in fact, inedible.

WEIRD

Try Rainbow-Ralphing Cat (). Full stop. Seriously, this cat spits rainbowsits got weird totally covered.

THE EXPLODING
KITTENS

AVOCADO CATTUS

ORIGIN

The Avocato got its start more than a millennium ago in Central America, when Mesoamerican farmers, fresh from their successful domestication of corn, decided to kick things up a notch by crossing the native avocado plant with an ocelot.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

Roughly the same size and shape as a hand grenade, its flesh is extremely firm and resilient during youth, but grows ever mushier with age.

HEALTH

Bruises easily, and typically has a very short life span. However, its days can be extended by bathing in lemon juice.

BREEDING

The population is slowly declining because each Avocato only produces a single, absurdly large seed during its lifetime.

HOME CARE TIP

Theres nothing an Avocato enjoys more than lounging on a piece of toast.

RICE ET CATTUS PISCIS

ORIGIN

The Catifornia Roll was first introduced to US cat fanciers during the 1970s when the tightly wrapped, cylindrical breed started appearing in select Japanese restaurants.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

Casual observers might notice that a streak of Avocato () runs through the Catifornia Roll.

BEHAVIOR

Normally mild and unchallenging. However, the breed can become quite a handful if exposed to wasabi.