Greig David - Midsummer: (a play with songs)

Its raining And theres these two people having sex Bob and Helena. Theyve only just met. They met a couple of hours ago in a pub. You could call it a pub it was more of a wine bar One of those cellar bars, A brasserie. Where lawyers go. 9.17. (Beep.) Helena receives a text she looks into the mirrored surface of the wine cooler for about twenty seconds and then she turns her face to the crowd in the bar and makes eye contact with Bob. (Beep.) Helena receives a text she looks into the mirrored surface of the wine cooler for about twenty seconds and then she turns her face to the crowd in the bar and makes eye contact with Bob.

Bobs out on a piece of business which we cant really talk about because its strictly speaking illegal. Its actually illegal. Bobs waiting to pick up the keys to a stolen car. Bob hates waiting, hates this place, hates all these lawyery types poking about with salads and forty-pound bottles of wine and generally lawyering themselves around the room Helenas a lawyer specialising in divorce. Bobs divorced somewhat bitterly well come to all that later. Just for now heres Bob alone at the bar black beer in front of him black thoughts inside him reading a damp paperback copy of Notes from theUnderground by Dostoevsky to cheer himself up.

Helena looks at Bob, Body all tied up in knots radiating hostility And she thinks Perfect. So she walks over to him and she says: Excuse me, would you like to come back to my place andhave extremely wild, uninhibited sex with me? She does not say that. Effectively she says that. Lets meet Bob Robert Victor Morris Liddell Hope Macartney Otherwise known as Medium Bob On account of him having no apparent defining features Unlike say Nose Jackson or Moleneck Stevie Lamont. Medium Bob works on the fringes of Edinburghs criminal underworld mostly doing odd jobs that involve fabricating stories. Hes a piss artist A storyteller A liar.

At school Bob was a star. He had a talent for poetry that was spotted by the editor of the school magazine. Bob was the editor of the school magazine. He wore black eyeshadow and grandad shirts. He backcombed his hair and formed a band called The Bloody Chamber. In 1987 they had a demo tape played on Radio Four.

Radio Forth. Same difference. In 1987 Bob was going out with Freda Bastianelli, the most beautiful girl in the school. In 1987 Bob bought a guitar and an InterRail ticket and a Greek fishermans cap and set off to busk his way around Europe. In 1987 Bob was the brightest star in the glorious firmament that was Broughton High School. 1987 was Bobs year.

Its all been downhill since then. Bring Bob your promise it shall be dimmed. Bring Bob your hope and it shall be lost. Bring Bob your right and surely it shall be made wrong if you want something spoiled, soiled, hurt, broken or maybe just made more ugly ask Bob. Which is why On the Friday of this Midsummer weekend At 9.17 Bob is not about to read extracts from his travel writing to an appreciative audience in Waterstones But is sitting here in Whighams Wine Cellars, Body all tied up in knots, radiating hostility, Waiting for Old Mister Pettit to turn up and give him the details of whatever strictly speaking illegal act hessupposed to undertake this weekend for his boss Big Tiny Tam Callaghan Watching the rain fall Fall and fall like its never going to stop, Which is when Helena comes over to him all perfume and control and says: Hi.Sorry?Hi.Hi.Is this seat taken?No.Do you mind if IIf you ?SitRight OK sit no.No?I dont mind on you go.Ive got a bottle of wine hereRight.I need someone to help me drink it.Oh.Dostoevsky?Yes. Do you like him?No.Whats your name?Me? Robert Rob Bob fuck.Bob Fuck?Bob.Bob, can I be honest with you?Of courseIm at a loose end tonight and you look like you mightbe at a loose end too.

How would you like to come backto my place and have extremely wild uninhibited sexwith me? She so does not say that. That is so effectively what she says. Three hours earlier, Helenas flat Helena looks at herself in the mirror for the first time in something like six weeks and thinks to herself OK she thinks if I was him and I saw her that woman me I would think yes only just but yes Ill go home with her tonight that woman me. Thats what Helena thinks. (Beep.) See you 8.30. Wear something red.

Smiley facewith a wink. Eight oclock, Helenas driving. On the radio a story about some fireman visiting a child in hospital, sick with leukaemia. Shit. 8.01. Helenas crying. Recently Helena has noticed herself crying suddenly, briefly and without warning which is strange because Helena is not a sentimental woman. Normally Helena has no time for weeping, no time for wailing.

Shes seen in her job the way women weaken themselves with sentiment shes seen how love erodes the ground on which a woman stands until one day the earth beneath her is suddenly washed away and whoosh! the family lawyers whoosh! the children bundled into taxis whoosh! the tears. Helenas seen them all the dazed, confused women cattle she calls them mooing their way across the fields of marital disaster lowing helplessly in the fog lost. No Helena is not a sentimental woman, These recent crying jags notwithstanding. Helena is nobodys cow. 9.17. (Beep.) Have to cancel. (Beep.) Have to cancel.

Trouble at home. Cant get away.Sad face. OK. OK so (Text.) No worries. Totally understand. These thingshappen. FUCK. Please. Please.

Not tonight. Send. Because if Helenas on her own then she might have to confront the secret she cant even tell to herself. Hi.Sorry?Hi.Hi.Is this seat taken?No.Do you mind if IIf you ?SitRight OK sit no.No?I dont mind on you go.Ive got some wine hereRight.Cant drink it all on my own.No.Would you like some wine?Thank you.What?NothingDostoevsky?Yes. Do you like him?No.Whats your name?Me? Robert Rob Bob fuck.Bob Fuck?Bob.Would you like to get drunk with me tonight, Bob? Thats what she said. Thats what she said, but what she meant was: