Ten Years Earlier
D o you have everything packed ? I ask, leaning against the doorframe.
Yeah. Come here.
Rook gazes at me from his spot on our bed. He stares through me, touching my soul in a place that hasn't felt vulnerable in a long time. He has always had a way of doing thatmaking me feel.
Leigh? he questions, probably wondering why I was still standing in the doorway.
Sorry.
Forcing myself to move, I walk to him. My breathing increases, and my palms sweat profusely at the thought of never being in his personal space again. I dont want him to leave. Why did he have to get an offer from a trainer? Its not fair.
They are going to whisk him away to a big city and mold him into something hes not. Theyll turn him into the poster child for violencea fighter. That isnt who he is. Rook is a good man, not a beast.
When I stop in front of him, his fingertips dance over the skin on the back of my thighs, sliding up and under my shorts. The sensual feeling of his touch is enough to pull a moan from my lips.
Babe, you know we could make this work, right? It doesnt have to be this way, he pleads, nuzzling his face into my stomach.
I love him.
My fingers wind into the back of his hair, as a single tear rolls down my cheek. Yeah, it does. Youre going to be in California, and Ill be in Boston. The distance is too much.
Admitting my and Rooks harsh reality causes an ache in my heart. He can try convincing me this could work, but I know better. I wont do it to myself or him.
It wouldnt be right for me to take on the responsibility of a long-distance relationship. I know we would never cheat on each other. Rook has always been loyal to a fault, as have I. The problem is the emotional turmoil of us being thousands of miles away from each other.
It doesnt have to be this way, Leigh. You can come with me.
I back away from him as if he smacked me in the face. Are you kidding? You want me to drop my life and follow you? I snap. I dont know where you got that impression of me, but its not who I am.
My harsh tone causes him to wince, but he collects himself. I know its not who you are. I get it. But it doesnt change the fact that I want you with me. I wont ask you to give up your dreams, the same way youve never asked me to give up mine. Thats not fair, but I can tell you that Id be invincible with you by my side. I can tell you I need you more than you think I do. I can tell you I wont be able to sleep at night without you, and that the love I feel for you is more than any I feel for a career as a fighter.
My eyes lock with his while he digs his fingertips into the backs of my thighs. The gesture ignites a need in me Ive been suppressing since I found out the offer he got.
If I let Rook stay, he will eventually resent me. He will slowly stop loving me altogether. Yes, he loves me, but he loves fighting just as much. Who am I to ask him to give up his dreams and settle down in a shitty dive bar? It isnt Rooks dream.
No.
What?
I wont do that.
Leigh, what the hell are you talking about? Im telling you Ill stay if you want me to. Isnt this what you wantwhat youve been hinting at?
Removing one of his hands from the back of my thigh, I hold it in mine. The rough texture and the countless scars from fights he fought to protect me leave me speechlessbroken even. My chest burns from the lack of air, and when I turn my eyes from his hand to his face, there is hurt in his eyes. Ive never seen him look at me this way, but his tell-all green irises give away every ounce of pain he feels.
Do you see this scar? I trace the one sitting on his knuckle.
Yeah. I see it. I saw it the day I cracked Tim Lewis in the mouth for calling you a bitch, too.
I give him a caring smile before continuing, See, the thing is, youve always done things for me, Rook. Youve always given a hundred percent to our relationship, and Ive always taken it with the utmost gratitude. The problem is Ive never been able to give anything back.
Before I can even keep on with my good-bye, he stands abruptly and pulls me against his chest. The feel of his hard body against my softer one is enough to make me take back all Ive said and let him stay.
Dont stand here and belittle yourself so you can send me away. I dont care if you think this makes my leaving easier. You are the best thing thats ever happened to me, and I wont let you say otherwise. Ive loved you since I was twelve, Ryleigh ODonnell. I loved you before I had anything else to love besides my family, so dont act like fighting will ever come first. It wont. You will always come first. I wont leave Boston unless youre coming.
Rook I can
Fuck, Leigh! What do you want from me? I say Ill stay, and you tell me to go. I tell you Im leaving, and your eyes beg me not to. You have to give me something here. I have to sign a lease in California in less than twenty-four hours. He takes a deep breath. Im trying to do the right thing. Ive given you every option I can come up with, and yet, were still standing here without a damn answer. I need you to tell me what