Blackbird - Maleante The Book

Maleante
2019 by Blackbird Toledo

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN (Softcover): 978-1-54398-950-2
ISBN (eBook): 978-1-54398-951-9

Chapter

P icture this: A NYC ghetto kid bamboozled, swindled out of her life. Well, money in the bank, a couple grand in the first drawer, finishing up my bachelors degree. Got a three-bedroom condo, with a nice car. So, how? According to my professor, with my factors, 99.9% chance I wont make it. I laughed when she said that. Im in control of my own life of course. I thought to myself. Im about to see how right she is.

Mom wakes up in the hospital after having me. The woman in the room nearby says to her, Look, my babys really hungry. When my mom looked, it was me in someone elses arms. Almost switched at birth.

POW! I see Little Eric fly through the air, a hit-and-run on our way to school. He lived though. Headed to the cuchifritos spot, BOOM! Someone shot at us three little girls in the car. The bullet missed me and hit the head of my seat. I was playing on the floor of the car While me and cousin walk home one dayBAM!

Why you punch him in the face? Run your Chinese shoes. Okay.

Mommy, please dont drink no more. It was Christmas Eve. I dragged her in the house that day all peed up. I couldnt carry her; she was too heavy. I put a pillow under her head so she could sleep. She was tired.

School was no different. Gladys was the bitch in 1st grade that started me off. She grabbed my pickle, put her nail in it and told me, I want half. Ive been fighting ever since to get and keep a meal.

Growing up in the hood, burnt buildings are our jungle gyms. The back alleys were a secret world filled with kids, connected with the fire escapes. People used them like patios, for hanging laundry, or growing plants. Other kids would do all kinds of flips and stunts on them, but I was careful. I thought it would break off or come loose and it did. It didnt break off completely, just hanging off the building for a year. The whole block saw when it happened. Too much jumping on it, I guess.

One night, Im walking to the bodega with my mom. The 4 train rolls by. I see crazy eyes. My grip on my moms hand tightened as we crossed the street. All of a sudden, he grabs me and starts pulling on my legs mid-air. Im yelling and screaming as hes trying to pull me into the park. Thats when the bodega man comes out. Im thinking hell help us. He looks out, and locks the store, leaving me and Mom to fight. Just then, the twins who lived on the floor under, came out and chased him away with a bat.

My mom did hair for extra money sometimes. One day while she is doing Titis hair, she steps out to get some hair spray. My aunts boyfriend rings the doorbell and we open to see hes got a hole in his neck. Mommy, where are you? I didnt see her. I find out later the shooter ran past my mom. We knew if you looked, you die. Fortunately, we didnt look. Cops never asked and we never told. The rules were set.

At the beach, Mom took me out all the way to the buoys in the ocean. Then, she told me to swim back and swam away. I remembered Booty up and floated back to shore. I was so scared it felt like I was having a heart attack. A lot of my childhood was spent in ERs for everything from lung collapses to pneumonia. I didnt let anyone know; it would be considered weakness.

Im 10 now, and I got my first job volunteering at the nursing home. I played bingo and read the newspaper with the elderly there. I met Fannie. She was so wise, and she told me that I was worth it. I came to work the next day and she was gone. She went to heaven.

A house full of alcoholics. Crack had just come out and all my friends parents seemed to be on it. My best friend Mel was getting hurt. Shed show me the bruises on her legs. It wasnt from normal beatings. I felt lucky to just get whipped. There were many kids like Mel, and Jade, and Jo, and Michi, and Lisa. I would ask her, Whos doing that to you? and shed say, Hell kill my family. No one talked about the kids who got hurt; they just protected the bad guys.

Mom put me in a program called Fresh Air Fund in Harlem; they take poor kids to nice places. Truddi was nice. She lived the opposite of the Bronx at her house. We ate vegetables and swam in her pond. I went to Vermont for a couple of summers to visit and it was wonderful. Me and my friend from there, Monique, went out to swim one time, when kids started pointing at us. I said, They wanna swim with us. Monique said, No. Then I heard them say, Look, niggers! We held each other, and we cried.

Mom sent me and baby Krissy to the corner store. Krissy got ran over by a car. She lived though.

Vicky (Moms other side), told me I had to rob the Bolita man (number man) Jose. I did not want to. Being a little kid and youre in a strange house, what do I take? I took the microwave; I figured we didnt have one. When I got upstairs, she said, Put that shit back. I had to climb down the fire escape and put it back. She reminded me, Dont forget he has a gun.

When I was very young, Vicky took me out and dressed me up beautiful one day. New coat, new shoes. Everything was good until we got arrested.

At the time when the other girls were getting their hair done in curls, I asked my mom to get my first haircut. We went to the shop and I was excited. I stared in the mirror. The happiness was short-lived and drained out of me when I saw a red, white, and blue sign (Barbershop). Then a man put clippers to the back of my head. I quickly realized I wasnt in a beauty shop. Vicky had my head shaved. One tear rolled down my check because Vicky didnt allow me to cry

I always knew when shed come back. Sis asked me how you know. I just did. Shes scary, she tortures you, and shell take your self-esteem. Shame is her specialty. Chairs, brooms, belts, shoes: shell hit with whatevers next to her and her mouth never closes. I had to lie to the doctor when she broke my hand. I remember thinking, Ill never lie for you again.

She invited us to her therapy place when she started getting rehabonce. When I started to talk, she said, You promised not to tell! and ran off.

Just like that shes back to normal, combing your hair, cleaning your room, making you food. Mom, they threw tear gas at us today. Too bad., she replies. Mom they robbed me; I lost everything. She says, Oh, I had a bad day.

These streets will turn a church kid into a stick-up kid. On the train going to school, I see the guy who sells batteries get smacked up and robbed. No one did anything about it. It was just like that. I felt sorry for the guy.

My grandma sent us out, so we were playing at the Jonny pump (fire hydrant). Kids everywhere, and music blasting. When the streets turned to blood. A kid got hit by a car. I cried for days, my mom told me. Cars were wild back then, no rules, people going a hundred miles per hour on the side street. They announced during school that a classmate playing chicken on the back of a bus did not survive. Tommy, my best friend and next-door neighbor growing up, got ahold of his fathers gun and shot himself. Not long after, his father died of a broken heart.

One day, Pops gave me a set of clippers and told me rob the store he works at. I soon realized they didnt cut, so I looked around the back and found a box of Snapple. I didnt want to come home empty-handed.