King - War flower: my life after Iraq

Raw and unvarnished, as it must be, combat veteran Brooke Kings memoir War Flower is a searing and unforgettable journey through death and dying, both at war and on the home frontas a child and as a mother, as a soldier and as a civilian. She somehow manages to braid several memoirs into one, offering several lenses into the battlefield of the mind, and the result is a book that has earned its place on the high shelf of American literature. While War Flower is set to the tuned pitch of human pain, this is a book about survival. Ive waited for this book for many years now, and yet, as I turn the last page, Im stunned in the reading of it.

Brian Turner, author of My Life as a Foreign Country and Here, Bullet

Searing with unapologetic candor and griteven during its surprising, fragmented moments of breathtaking, heartbreaking poeticismBrooke Kings War Flower sweeps aside all veils of illusion regarding the impact of trauma and moral injury on the human psyche, while also illuminating the disturbing crossgenerational consequences of war. For those who have asked for years: Where are the combat memoirs from women veterans? brace for impact.

Tracy Crow, coeditor of Its My Country Too: Womens Military Stories from the American Revolution to Afghanistan

In her memoir about a combat deployment to Iraq, army veteran Brooke King writes, Nothing good survives war. I would beg to differ: King went to war, lived through months of unthinkable horrors, and returned with a very good book in her duffel bag. War Flower will leave no reader unmoved, no soul unscathed.

David Abrams, author of Brave Deeds and Fobbit

Brooke King

Potomac Books

An imprint of the University of Nebraska Press

2019 by Brooke King

Acknowledgments for the use of copyrighted material appear in , which constitutes an extension of the copyright page.

Cover designed by University of Nebraska Press; cover image courtesy of author.

All rights reserved. Potomac Books is an imprint of the University of Nebraska Press.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: King, Brooke, author.

Title: War flower: my life after Iraq / Brooke King.

Other titles: My life after combat in Iraq

Description: Lincoln, NE : Potomac Books, an imprint of the University of Nebraska Press, [2019]

Identifiers: LCCN 2018028081

ISBN 9781640121188 (cloth: alk. paper)

ISBN 9781640121812 (epub)

ISBN 9781640121829 (mobi)

ISBN 9781640121836 (pdf)

Subjects: LCSH : King, Brooke. | Iraq War, 20032011Personal narratives, American. | Iraq War, 20032011VeteransUnited StatesBiography. | Iraq War, 20032011Campaigns. | United States. ArmyWomenBiography. | Women soldiersUnited StatesBiography. | Pregnant womenUnited StatesBiography. | Post-traumatic stress disorderPatientsUnited StatesBiography. | United States. ArmyWomenSocial conditions. | Women in combatUnited States.

Classification: LCC D S79.76 . K 547 2019 | DDC 956.7044/342092 [ B ] dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018028081

The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

for Bowen and Zachary

war flower a term coined during Operation Iraqi Freedom ( OIF ) to describe a female soldier (usually enlisted) who has miraculously survived a mission and/or deployment without sustaining physical injuries.

Before the court-martial began, I looked past the judges bench toward the window where, outside, the rest of the world was going about its day. The sun came out, and the rain clouds that lingered all morning had shifted places in the sky. Streaks of water ran down the window, which had been opened to ventilate the room of its stifled air. Cars splashed by on the street outside, and from the witness chair I could see the sun reflecting rays of light on the puddles, but the sun would not last. Soon the clouds would return; outside and inside would be filled with darkness.

He sat behind the partition at a desk, next to his attorney, who was shuffling papers back and forth, reaching over every once in a while to look into his briefcase to make sure he hadnt forgotten anything. He was sitting there, waiting for me to look at him. He did not know that I had been briefed not to stare, not to smile, not to look anywhere in his direction, so he looked at me and waited for a small gesture that might never come.

The line of questioning began with a Bible, an oath of truth, and a hand held up.

The prosecution asked my name, if I was deployed, why I had come back early from deployment, and if I was married, and I answered all questions truthfully. My name was Private First Class Brooke Nicole King. I deployed to Iraq in August 2006. I had come back early from deployment due to pregnancy, and yes, I was married.

Are you married to the accused, PFC King?

No, sir.

He fidgeted in his chair, straightening himself up at the sound of being labeled the accused.

Who is the father of that baby?

Captain Haislop.

How do you know that?

Because...

I couldnt bring myself to say it out loud, and before I had time to fabricate an answer that wouldnt lead to more lines of questioning, the defense attorney stood up.

Objection. This calls for speculation, sir.

I looked down, too tempted to stare at him.

Let me rephrase. Have you had sexual relations with the accused?

Yes.

I began to cry.

I did.

I looked up and noticed a box of tissues on his desk.

I wiped my eyes, trying not to look at him through the motions of brushing the tears away from my cheek. He leaned toward his attorney and pointed at the box of tissues.

Will the investigating officer allow me to rise and hand the box of tissues to PFC King?

The prosecution walked over and took it before the defense could leave his seat. The tissues were placed in front of me, but I didnt pull any from the box.

Are you able to continue, PFC King?

I did not answer. I looked at every part of him but his face. His hands were folded in his lap. His uniform crisp and his boots cleaned up. His hair freshly cut. I couldnt stop looking. And I did it. I looked into his eyes.

He nodded his head and smiled.

PFC King, may I remind you that you are under a no contact order and are here as part of an agreement to testify. May we continue?

I nodded my head, but it was too late, I could not look away now.

Okay. You mentioned just a bit earlier that the accused in this case is the father of the child?

Yes.

Do you remember giving a statement on April 17th?

Yes.

And during that statement you were asked who the father was. Do you remember your response?

No, I do not.

You said, I decline to state. Whyd you say that?

I studied his face. My eyes traced the outline of his jaw, the round edges of his nose, the creases at the corner of his eyes.

PFC King, I will not remind you again. You are under a no contact order and are not permitted to look at the accused.

I did not look away.

I said that because of the fact that I did not at the time want to give them the name of the father.

He smiled at me.

Did you know who the father was at the time?

I smiled back.

Yes.

The prosecution looked at me.

PFC King, if you do not comply with the no contact order, you will be found in contempt of court. Do you understand?