Jane Blair - Hesitation Kills: A Female Marine Officers Combat Experience in Iraq

Without the help and support of my friends, family, fellow Marines, and book community, my book would not have come to be. There are many special people I met along the way who encouraged my vision to turn my personal journaloriginally meant to get me through my time in Iraqinto this book.

Im grateful that I was lucky enough to find my incredible book agent, Ellen Levine. Ellen and her staff worked tirelessly to find a spot in the publishing world that was right for my book. Thanks to the entire talented staff at my publishing company, Rowman & Littlefield. Susan McEachern and Janice Braunsteinthank you for patiently waiting while I lived through a revolution in the Middle East to get my proofs in on time for publication. Thanks also to Carrie Broadwell, Sam Caggiula, and Erin McGarvey.

Thanks to Clare Martin who was the first proofreader of my book and whose task of correcting my grammar and spelling mistakes was a big job. Thanks to James Wade who edited my manuscript and gave me such kind words of encouragement when we met at the Harvard Club.

Thanks to all my Marines, my colleagues, and leaders in the Corpsyou will always be my tribe, and I am forever devoted to you. Special thanks go out to all the Marines at VMU-1; I hope that I have done justice in portraying our time in Iraq. I appreciate the leadership I came to know so well from Colonel Scott Mykleby, Major Sal Cepeda, and Sergeant Major Rew. Thanks also to my Marines for putting up with meI learned more from all of you than you ever knew. To my officer peers, both in an out of the Corps, I truly value your friendship and camaraderie. I was lucky enough to have a chance to incorporate the stories of outstanding Marines such as Brian Chontosh, Seth Moulton, Pat Spencer, Paul Bock, Nicole Hembrick, Irving Stone, Ryan Ruehl, McNair, Jimenez, Carlson and others too numerous to mention. I hope that I have told your stories in a favorable and accurate light.

Thanks to my patient husband, Peter, who tirelessly edited my manuscript, infused my stories with life, supported me throughout the process, and borrowed a humvee. You have kept me grounded, sane, and, over the years, talked me out of countless crazy travel adventures that could have gotten me killed.

I cant leave out my mother who always inspired me to write, and who told me surreal but true stories about my family history in Puerto Rico: tales of sugar barons, ghosts in El Morro, and the beauty of her home at Al Cortillo Villa. Thanks also to my in-laws and relatives who always had kind words and unconditional love.

Thanks to all the Iraqis I met whose lives, I hope, have finally improvedIm forever touched by your hospitality and hope in those uncertain times.

Thanks to the National Endowment for the Arts and your great seminars that encouraged me to turn my journal into a book. Also, thanks to the OpEd Project.

Frank Schaeffer, my friend and mentor, after all these years, you have been one of my greatest inspirations. And to Father Pavlos Bourgouris; you have taught me selfless devotion, compassion, spirituality, and how necessary it was to respect all of mankind. All my wonderful friends who always listened when I needed you: especially Penelope, Unni, Jennifer, and Blaine. To my doctor who showed me magic tricks at Setai, and who I hope will always have faith in me.

To my father, who never got to see me grow up, I wish you were still here.

Second Lieutenant

First Lieutenant

Captain

Major

Lieutenant Colonel

Colonel

Brigadier General

Major General

Lieutenant General

General

Commandant of the Marine Corps

Warrant Officer 1

Chief Warrant Officer 2

Chief Warrant Officer 3

Chief Warrant Officer 4

Chief Warrant Officer 5

Private

Private First Class

Lance Corporal

Corporal

Sergeant

Staff Sergeant

Gunnery Sergeant

Master Sergeant or First Sergeant

Master Gunnery Sergeant or Sergeant Major

Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps

Men who are capable of real action first make their plans and thengo forward without hesitation while their enemies have still not madeup their minds.

Thucydides

W ar was inevitable. From the youngest Private to the base Commanding General, we all knew we were going, and where we went, war would follow. The Bush administration was ratcheting up the rhetoric. Instinctively, we knew our phones would ring, and we would be told that we had two hours to get on the bus. Wed grab our seabags, and wed say good-bye to our loved ones and our comfortable lives. Wed be off to some foreign place where our only certain destiny was killing or being killed. So there I was, one Marine among many, about to deploy to Iraq and wearing a camouflage uniformdesigned to both hide me from the enemy and to make me blend in with Marines headed for combat.

The post-9/11 world had many Americans fearful about future terrorist attacks. They bought security kits equipped with everything they would need to survive in their homes. They were prepared to trade certain liberties for security, sacrificing 229 years of national character on the altar of the moment. The Middle East, which had posed endless problems for U.S. foreign policies and those of other Western nations, was now at the center of a full-blown crisis. Iran and Iraq were included in what President Bush called the axis of evil, a phrase designed to inspire fear in the United States and to let everyone know who was on our shit list. All it seemed to confirm was what some pundits and historians called a clash of civilizations between East and West. Now, we were told, Muslim extremism had blossomed into terrorism. We were reminded that Islamic extremists claimed they were carrying out the injunction in the Quran: All must be converted to Islam, even by means of force.

The War on Terror was unlike any other waged by America and its allies; it was a conflict that had no boundariesa war against a concept. The grand strategy seemed to strike out with maximum force at anyone who shook hands with a terrorist. This appealed to the Marines around me; it adhered to our beloved KISS principlekeep it simple, stupidand played to our strengths: killing people and breaking things. First wed stomped Afghanistan, hunting down the Taliban and al-Qaeda; now Iraq would become the next battlefield in the war on terror. The justification for attacking this country was, initially, the contention that Iraq was hiding weapons of mass destruction. We were told it was a war to liberate an oppressed people. We didnt care; we just wanted everyone to shut up and start the show. The professional warrior has an almost lunatic ambivalence about concepts like war and patriotism. Patriotism to a Marine is like body odor; weve all got it, but were too polite to mention it. We dont feel a patriotic surge from events like 9/11; we joined because of some innate inner sense that the world is always in danger, and we knew we were just the people to protect the world from its problems.

While civilians talk about patriotism, Marines talk about sex, drinking, stupid things done while drinking, stupid things done while not drinking, and sex. As for war, we dont waste much effort thinking about the why; weve all got our opinions, but the how takes up enough of our time, and when someone is shooting at you, the how is all you need to worry about. We all want to go to war and hope we never do. Even if you dont believe in the cause youre fighting for, you believe in the Marines to the right and left of you, and you fight for them, to keep them alive, to get them home. Its that simple.