Herriot - Vet in a Spin

Vet in a Spin [112-2.5]

By: JAMES HERRIOT

Synopsis:

More musings and anecdotes from everyones favorite country veterinarian, James Herriot.

Chapter One Vet in a Spin With love to ROSIE, JIM and GILL .

..

This was a very different uniform. The welling tons and breeches of my country vet days seemed far away as I climbed into the baggy flying suit and pulled on the sheepskin boots and the gloves the silk ones first then the big clumsy pair on top. It was all new but I had a feeling of pride.

Leather helmet and goggles next, then I fastened on my parachute, passing the straps over my shoulders and between my legs and buckling them against my chest before shuffling out of the flight hut on to the long stretch of sunlit grass.

Flying Officer Wood ham was waiting for me there. He was to be my instructor and he glanced at me apprehensively as though he didnt relish the prospect.

With his dark boyish good looks he resembled all the pictures I had seen of Battle of Britain pilots and in fact, like all our instructors, he had been through this crisis in our history. They had been sent here as a kind of holiday after their tremendous experience but it was said that they regarded their operations against the enemy as a picnic compared with this. They had faced the might of the Luftwaffe without flinching but we terrified them.

As we walked over the grass I could see one of my friends coming in to land.

The little biplane slewed and weaved crazily in the sky. It just missed a clump of trees, then about fifty feet from the ground it dropped like a stone, bounced high on its wheels, bounced twice again then zigzagged to a halt. The helmeted head in the rear cockpit jerked and nodded as though it were ma king some pointed remarks to the head in front. Flying Officer Wood hams face was expressionless but I knew what he was thinking. It was his turn next.

The Tiger Moth looked very small and alone on the wide stretch of green.

I climbed up and strapped myself into the cockpit while my instructor got in behind me. He went through the drill which I would soon know by heart like a piece of poetry. A fitter gave the propeller a few turns for priming. Then contact! the fitter swung the prop, the engine roared, the chocks were pulled away from the wheels and we were away, bumping over the grass; then suddenly and miraculously lifting and soaring high over the straggle of huts into the summer sky with the patchwork of the soft countryside of southern England unfolding beneath us.

I felt a sudden elation, not just because I liked the sensation but because I had waited so long for this moment. The months of drilling and marching and studying navigation had been leading up to the time when I would take to the air and now it had arrived.

FO Wood hams voice came over the intercom.

Now youve got her. Take the stick and hold her steady. Watch the artificial horizon and keep it level. See that cloud ahead? Line yourself up with it and keep your nose on it.

I gripped the joystick in my gauntleted hand. This was lovely. And easy, too.

They had told me flying would be a simple matter and they had been right. It was childs play. Cruising along I glanced down at the grandstand of Ascot racecourse far below.

I was just beginning to smile happily when a voice crashed in my ear.

Rela for Gods sake! What the hell are you playing at?

I couldnt understand him. I felt perfectly relaxed and I thought I was coin fine, but in the mirror I could see my instructors eyes glaring through h goggles.

No, no, no! Thats no bloody good! Relax, cant you hear me, relax!

Yes, sir, I quavered and immediately began to stiffen up. I couldnt imagine what was troubling the man but as I began to stare with increasing desperation, now at the artificial horizon then at the nose of the aircraft against the cloud^ ahead, the noises over the intercom became increasingly apoplectic.

I didnt seem to have a single problem, yet all I could hear were curses an groans and on one occasion the voice rose to a scream.

Get your bloody finger out, will you! ; I stopped enjoying myself and a faint misery welled in me. And as al way when that happened I began to think of Helen and the happier life I had left behind. In the open cockpit the wind thundered in my ears, lending vivid life to the picture forming in my mind.

The wind was thundering here, too, but it was against the window of our bed-sitter. It was early November and a golden autumn had changed with brute suddenness to arctic cold. For two weeks an icy rain had swept the grey town and villages which huddled in the folds of the Yorkshire Dales, turning the fields into shallow lakes and the farmyards into squelching mud-holes.

Everybody had colds. Some said it was flu, but whatever it was it decimated the population. Half of Darrow by seemed to be in bed and the other half sneezing at each other.

I myself was on a knife edge, crouching over the fire, sucking an antiseptic lozenge and wincing every time I had to swallow. My throat felt raw and there was an ominous tickling at the back of my nose. I shivered as the rain hurled a drumming cascade of water against the glass. I was all alone in the practice Siegfried had gone away for a few days and I just darent catch cold.

It all depended on tonight. If only I could stay indoors and then have a good sleep I could throw this off, but as I glanced over at the phone on the bedside table it looked like a crouching beast ready to spring.

Helen was sit ting on the other side of the fire, knitting. She didnt have a cold, - she never did. And even in those early days of our marriage I couldnt help feeling it was a little unfair. Even now, thirty-five years later, things are just the same and, as I go around sniffling. I still feel tight-lipped at her obstinate refusal to join me.

I pulled my chair closer to the blaze. There was al ways a lot of night work in our kind of practice but maybe I would be lucky. It was eight oclock wild never a cheep and perhaps fate had decreed that I would not be hauled out in that sodden darkness in my weakened state.

Helen came to the end of a row and held up her knitting. It was a sweater for me, about half done.

How does it look, Jim? she asked.

I smiled. There was something in her gesture that seemed to epitomise our life together. I opened my mouth to tell her it was simply smashing when the phone pealed with a suddenness which made me bite my tongue.

Tremblingly I lifted the receiver while horrid visions of calving heifers fload before me. An hour with my shirt off would just tip me nicely over the brim This is Sow den of Long Pasture, a voice croaked.

Yes, Mr Sow den? I gripped the phone tightly. I would know my fate in a moment.

I ave a big calf ere. Looks very dowry and grunt in bad. Will ye come?

A long breath of relief escaped me. A calf with probable stomach trouble. It Could have been a lot worse.

Right Ill see you in twenty minutes, I said.

As I turned back to the cosy warmth of the little room the injustice of life smote me.

Ive got to go out, Helen.

Oh, no.

Yes, and I have this cold coming on, I whimpered.

And just listen to that rain!

Yes, you must wrap up well, Jim.

I scowled at her.

That place is ten miles away, and a cheerless dump if ever there was one. Theres not a warm corner anywhere. I fingered my aching throat

A trip out theres just what I need Im sure Ive got a temperature.

I dont know if all veterinary surgeons blame their wives when they get an unwanted call, but heaven help me, Ive done it all my life.

Instead of giving me a swift kick in the pants Helen smiled up at me.

Im really sorry, Jim, but maybe it wont take you long. And you can have a bowl of hot soup when you get back.