Gravel - Olga and the smelly thing from nowhere. Vol. 1

Ive got more interesting things to watch, like Let me tell you about the cool animals Ive studied. All of them. I am on excellent terms with animals, except maybe mosquitoes. Animals are so much cuter than humans. Also, animals dont pollute the planet and make wars and lie to you and steal your erasers and call you names. Even animals that people usually dislike are cuter than humans, in my humble opinion. Even animals that people usually dislike are cuter than humans, in my humble opinion.

But then some people will tell you that I have weird tastewhich is perfectly fine with me, thank you very much. Nobodys forcing them to read this book. Not too hard to pick a loser here, is it? In case youre still not convinced that animals are cuter than humans, consider this: almost EVERYTHING ANIMALS DO IS CUTE. But if humans did the same things, it wouldnt be cute at all. OK, I have to admit, SOME humans are not bad. Like babies.

Babies are I would love a planet entirely populated by babies ANYTIME. Although, come to think of it, it would be a pretty weird planet. Its when they grow up that they become less cute. Look at Shalala and Farla. Theyre my neighbors. They think they are adorable, but theyre not.

All they care about is what they wear and how they do their hair, and Bip Bibop, a Korean pop star who most human girls are in love with. But not me. I am not in love with anybody. Ew. Weve been neighbors forever, but for as long as I can remember, theyve always annoyed me. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have human friends.

Right now my closest friend is cooler than any human friend I could imagine. Her name is Rita. Shes a spider who lives under the bathroom sink. Shes very nice and polite, her legs are just the right length and not too hairy, and shes a very good listener. I may not have many friends, but I am never bored. I am always very busy, and amazing things are ALWAYS happening to me.

Also, I have big, big plans. Im going to be a zoologist. A zoologist is a scientist who studies animals. Ill have a very cool lab coat, an office up a tree in the jungle, and, of course, a monkey lab assistant who I will dress up in pajamas and name Herbert. I will study animals and protect them from evil humans and their pollution. Also, I will create new animals from existing species.

I will probably become very famous for that. More famous than Bip Bibop, even. Ill be a cool and fascinating person one day. Ill probably hang out with Jane Goodall and her chimp friends in the jungle. Well drink tea and talk about how silly humans are. I heard a noise in the trash can on my back porch. I heard a noise in the trash can on my back porch.

I thought it might be a raccoon, and my heart leaped. Or maybe it was a rat! I loooooove rats. A white one with red eyes that I would name Yogurt, and I would carry her on my shoulder everywhere. The Lalas would be so jealous! I ran to the trash can but stopped myself when I had a thought: Wait a minute, maybe it was something else. Like maybe the trash can was crawling with maggots! Ive seen maggots in the trash can before.