Olga Mecking - Niksen

Text copyright 2020 by Olga Mecking

Illustrations copyright 2021 by Tracy Walker

First published by Kosmos Uitgevers, The Netherlands in 2020.

All rights reserved

For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to or to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 3 Park Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, New York 10016.

hmhbooks.com

Cover design by Martha Kennedy

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Mecking, Olga, author.

Title: Niksen : embracing the Dutch art of doing nothing / Olga Mecking.

Description: Boston : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2021. | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020033835 (print) | LCCN 2020033836 (ebook) | ISBN 9780358395317 (hardback) | ISBN 9780358396352 | ISBN 9780358396376 | ISBN 9780358395089 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH : Conduct of life. | Well-being. | Relaxation. | Stress (Physiology) | National characteristics, Dutch. | Nothing (Philosophy)Miscellanea.

Classification: LCC BJ 1589 . M 46 2021 (print) | LCC BJ 1589 (ebook) | DDC 155.8/9492dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020033835

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020033836

v1.1220

Im on my couch, pondering a typical day in my life. Each morning I am awakenedright on timeby the sound of joyfully chirping birds. Before I get out of bed, I whisper a mantra to myself, something inspiring, like blessed be this miraculous morning, or the world is your oyster. I make myself a healthy breakfast and go about my day, smiling to myself and feeling upbeat.

I am the perfect mother, a wonderful wife, the personification of calm. My house, of course, is sparkling clean. I always say the right thing when my children are upset; I never yell; Im never impatient. My children do their chores without complaining and remain calm and cheerful throughout the day.

I breeze through the day while my house organizes itself around me, all by itself. I go to bed feeling I have changed the world in ways big and small.

My life wasnt always like this. There was a time when I was constantly tired. I thought I couldnt do it all, and I felt like a failure. I was sure I just couldnt win. But now Im stronger and more confident than ever. I take whatever comes my way in stride, never even breaking a sweat. These days, people admire me and look to me for life advice and inspiration.

How do you do it, Olga? they ask me. I consider answering that Im a natural. I wake up perfect every day and I just cant help it! But the truth is that I have full control over my destiny and have become the best person I can be thanks to an amazing little secret I discovered. What secret, you ask? Niksen, or the Dutch art of doing nothing.

Did you believe that? No? Good.

The only truth to that story was the sound of chirping birds in the morning, and thats because my dear husbandafter years of watching regular alarm clocks shock me awaketook pity on me and bought an alarm clock that sounds like birds singing. And while its definitely an improvement over what could have just as well been used as a fire siren, my mornings are still traumatic. I have three children who I need to get out of bed and off to school by 8 a.m., preferably fed and dressed. By the time the school bus arrives, my sanity is usually hanging by a thread. But thats just the beginning; while my children are at school, I rarely find even a moment for myself.

Between all I have to do for my children, home, work, husbandwho works long hoursand the rest of my family and friends, I try to remember the last time I actually did absolutely nothing. And fail miserably.

I used to be so good at it. When I was little, I would sit on my bed or in my fathers favorite armchair and stare at the patterns in the rug or out of a window, thinking of absolutely nothing. Sometimes my parents would ask me what I was doing and send me off to do chores or homework, but I had ample time to daydream. And it felt so good.

But now? As a mother of three, a wife, a writer, and a business owner, I always feel hurried and pressed for time. Sometimes it seems like Im writing with one hand, caring for my children with the other, cooking dinner with my left leg, and cleaning the house with my right.

Of course, Im aware that I have chosen this. I wanted this life. But acknowledging this fact doesnt make it easier. I, like so many others I know, am just... so... busy.

The last time I sat on my couch and simply did nothing was a few months ago when I actually collapsed onto it. It was the end of the school year and I was exhausted, sleep deprived, and unable to function, just like I usually am at that time of year. The only thing I felt capable of doing was lying on the coach and staring into space, which was how my husband found me when he got home from work.

It didnt occur to me at the time that collapsing like this was the only socially acceptable way to do nothing. The attraction of illness lies in its capacity to redeem one of the greatest vices of our society: not doing anything, write management professors Carl Cederstrm and Andr Spicer in The Wellness Syndrome.

Something was happening, and I didnt like it at all. I was very tired and feeling overwhelmed, but I had no idea what to do about it. In my years of writing about parenting I noticed how stress was a huge factor in so many peoples lives and that everyone was feeling as overwhelmed as I was. But it took a little article in an unknown magazine to make me realize that this was symptomatic of a much bigger problem that didnt affect only parents.

Two years ago, reporter Gebke Verhoeven published an article called Niksen Is the New Mindfulness in the Dutch magazine Gezond Nu. I loved the idea and remember thinking: Cool, finally someone is telling me its okay to do nothing. Now this is a wellness trend I can get behind.

But immediately after that I wondered: How am I supposed to do nothing? Whenever I allow myself to sit down my house starts talking to me. Do me, do me, do me, whispers the laundry in a totally unsexy way. Did I remind the children to do their homework, asks my conscience? And when I look around, I see books on the floor and dirty dishes on the kitchen counter. I know there is no food in the house, and I have zero idea what I am going to make for dinner. How can I just sit on the couch when I feel compelled to get up and take care of the house and everyone who lives in it (except for myself, that is)? New tasks constantly materialize as if out of thin air. If I want to sit down, one of my children is bound to get sick or up pops an appointment I need to make or something else I am suddenly reminded I have to do. How on earth am I supposed to find time for this niksen?

Yet, after reading that article, a curiosity started to grow in me. What was this thing the Dutch called niksen? And why couldnt I do it just a little more? I started to research niksen extensively and discovered that simply doing nothing can be enormously beneficial, especially for those of us who, like me, feel overwhelmed by our responsibilities. Doing nothing, or niksen, really is worth it.

My curiosity led me to write a few articles on the subject. Then in May 2019 the