Olga Trujillo - The Sum of My Parts: A Survivors Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder

Olga R. Trujillo is an attorney who works with communities on issues involving domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, and the impact of trauma. A nationally renowned speaker, she has appeared in several training videos on domestic violence, including Cut It Out and A Survivors Story. She has received the Bud Cramer Leadership Award from the National Childrens Alliance and the Sunshine Lady Foundation Peace Award. Olga lives with her partner Casey, dogs, and cats on a small farm in Wisconsin.

In The Sum of My Parts, Olga Trujillo reminds us what living with integrity and courage really means. In spite of brutal abuse she experienced by her family, the story of her survival is truly extraordinary and an inspiration to all of us.

Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes and other books and internationally recognized expert on youth, social justice, and ethical leadership

In The Sum of My Parts, Olga Trujillo generously gives us a rare look into the power of community. Olga shows us how one person can make a difference. In her compelling account of her survival she illustrates the true meaning of resilience and healing. A must-read for all.

Shelia Hankins, associate director of the Institute on Domestic Violence in the African American Community

The Sum of My Parts clearly shows the resiliency of a child's mind. As a survivor diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, I found parts of this book easy to relate to. Some of it surprised me, some of it made me cry, but overall one thing stuck with me: one caring person in a childs life can make a positive difference. I am very glad Olga had the courage to come forward and tell her story.

Beth Cassell, survivor with dissociative identity disorder

Olgas memoir portrays the complex and often misunderstood experience of dissociation with clarity, dignity, and respect. Compelling, educational, and grounded, she conveys the immense intelligence, courage, and willpower it takes to survive childhood rape via dissociation. For those of us on the dissociative identity disorder continuum, this book serves as a guide for reclaiming our lives. For others, it offers understanding of a diagnosis that is too often ignored or sensationalized. It is a gift of immense importance.

Christine Stark, author of Nickels: A Tale of Dissociation and coeditor of Not for Sale

Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this book. I dont feel alone and I can use it to help others understand what my life is like. It makes me proud to feel like Im a part of your secret club.

Mary, survivor with dissociative identity disorder

In The Sum of My Parts, Olga Trujillo gives us a rare and courageous look inside the psyches response to trauma. This deeply moving book carefully reveals how Olga developed, lived with and eventually healed from dissociative identity disorder, and comes to thrive. It is a truly inspiring account of one womans quest for happiness.

Carole Warshaw, MD, director of the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma, and Mental Health, and executive director of the Domestic Violence and Mental Health Policy Initiative

The Sum of My Parts is a compelling book that captures the reader from start to finish. Its unflinching portrayal of the reality of sexual assault is balanced with the authors insight and hope. Readers will be taken through a journey deep into the authors thoughts and see just how she survived. Unlike any book of its kind, The Sum of My Parts intertwines the cultural influences in the authors life, abuse, and healing. Importantly, it also illustrates the far-reaching impact of sexual assault. Its a must-read for anyone, especially those working with assault survivors from communities of color.

Condencia Brade, executive Director of The National Organization of Sisters of Color Ending Sexual Assault (SCESA)

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

All names have been changed except those of Olga and Casey. Some identifying details have been changed.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2011 by Olga R. Trujillo

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Text design by Michele Waters-Kermes

Acquired by Angela Autry Gorden

Edited by Jasmine Star

All Rights Reserved

Epub ISBN: 9781608825707

The Library of Congress has Cataloged the Print Edition as:

Trujillo, Olga R.

The sum of my parts : a survivors story of dissociative identity disorder / Olga R. Trujillo.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-57224-991-2 (pbk.) -- ISBN 978-1-57224-992-9 (pdf e-book)

1. Trujillo, Olga R.--Mental health. 2. Multiple personality--Patients--United States--Biography. 3. Adult child abuse victims--Biography. I. Title.

RC569.5.M8T78 2011

616.852360092--dc23

[B]

2011023272

Note to the reader

Readers are advised that The Sum of My Parts includes graphic descriptions of sexual and physical abuse. While these descriptions comprise a small portion of the text, they are a necessary part of the narrative and important for understanding the childhood experiences that create dissociative identity disorder (DID). Readers who themselves have been victims of abuse may potentially find these passages triggeringin terms of both memories and strong emotions. If this should occur, the reader is advised to stop reading and consult a mental health professional who specializes in trauma.

For Doa Graciela, my next-door neighbor, and all those who came after her: youth directors, teachers, coaches, mentors, and parents of friends. Your seemingly small kindnesses and ordinary encouragement helped me to survive and made me who I am today.

Acknowledgments

My partner, Casey, and I have created a loving home in which Ive found more happiness than I ever thought possible. In this place, I have found the peace and strength to write with perspective and humility. Without her love and support, I couldnt have written this book.

Thank you doesnt begin to express the gratitude I feel to my psychiatrist for walking the walk with me. I will always be thankful for the depth and breadth of his compassion and dedication to my healing.

Angela Autry Gorden remembered that about eight years ago I wanted to write a book. She has helped me through this process with infinite kindness and patience. I went from not knowing how to having the confidence that I could write. She is truly gifted!

Jess Beebes keen insight and wonderful contributions to the manuscript went a long way toward making this book clear and accessible.

Prologue

Sometimes I feel like Im in a secret club whose members understand each other in a way that no one else can. When talking with others in this club, I can say, My mind looked like a house with many doors. They might respond that their mind was like a bus or like a series of cupboards. Saying something about having parts and having the person in front of me nod his or her head is unlike anything I can describe. In that moment, we know we are not alone.

I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID) in 1993, when I was thirty-one years old. I have spent many years since then learning about DID: what it is, how it affects my life, how I developed separate parts of myself, and how to live with DID in a life that is full of happiness and normalcy. This book details my journey.