Gabriel Krauze - Who They Was

4th Estate

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This eBook first published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2020

Copyright Gabriel Krauze, 2020

Cover design by Julian Humphries

Gabriel Krauze asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

This novel is a work of fiction

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Source ISBN: 9780008374990

Ebook Edition July 2020 ISBN: 9780008375010

Version: 2020-07-28

AND JUMP OUT the whip and Im hitting the pavement and its this moment when you jump out of the car and its too late to go back when you know that youre definitely gonna do it, even though the way the adrenaline bursts through your body makes you wish for a second that you werent here. And now were creeping up the street, shes too far ahead of us, we got the timing wrong but we cant run to catch up because that will alert her and shell turn around, so were creeping fast. The bally is hugging my face tight and Ive also pulled my hood over it and I feel the adrenaline explode in the pit of my chest like a dying star and its like my entire body has turned into the pumping of my heart.

And Im creeping up fast to get behind her and Gotti is right there beside me and she hasnt heard us, not the way were moving, low to the ground, black cotton Nike tracksuits on so theres no sound of clothes rustling, Nike trainers silent on the pavement. And for a few heartbeats I notice how everything on the street seems like someones idea of a peaceful life, sun floating overhead, bulging in the skys belly, washing the street below in a brightness that breaks over everything; neat rows of perfect houses, polished green bushes lining the pavement, the cool metal smell of morning, and now the woman pushes a gate open and turns off the street and shes walking up a small path to her front door.

And weve fucked up the timing but we can still get her on her doorstep so we start running, still tryna be stealthy but now we really have to be quick before we lose her and we turn through the little gate shes almost at the door, digging into her handbag for the house key and we run up the path and then were right there behind her, I can reach out and touch her hair, I can smell shampoo and softness and then expensive perfume which almost makes me feel sick, and in this moment everything Ive ever known falls away, memory, past, future, and then the street, the morning and everything else around us disappears as if Im forgetting the world and there is only Now, crystal sharp, on the doorstep. And before I can get my arms locked around her neck to put her to sleep, she turns around.

And she screams. She sees me or just my eyes and a bit of mouth through three holes in the black bally Im wearing as if realising a nightmare she didnt know she was in and we know its all scatty now, fuck it, no chance of this being silent and unnoticed so I grab her anyway, my arm pushing into her throat as I turn her around and hold her tight against my chest and Gotti is trying to pop the Cartier off her wrist but he cant for some reason, hes proper straining and the metal is biting into her wrist and shes screaming just take it just take it and now the pounding in my heart and belly is fully gone because were actually doing it, nothing else exists in this moment, everything is still and calm inside me and I say stop fucking struggling in her ear but Gotti cant rip the watch off even though its like shes giving him her wrist and I can see hes like whatdafuck because its never happened before that he couldnt pop someones watch off and this one has diamonds going all round the bezel so we really want it, like its easily worth ten fifteen bags.

And I think fuck it because shes already screaming, no point tryna put her to sleep now, might as well help Gotti. The front door solid white with a brass knocker opens and theres a boy standing there, about seventeen eighteen years old and he just stares at us like frozen and says Mum and I look at him, our eyes meet and in his eyes and also over his shoulder behind him I can see a different life to my own, something better maybe, something without so many sharp edges and broken things. And were still tryna tear the watch off and suddenly Gotti turns round and bangs the womans son in the face onetime and the boy drops and Gotti slams the door shut and were alone with her again. And I clock shes got a big diamond ring on her wedding finger and I try to pull it off but its not moving, the skin all bunches up and it hurts her and I cant twist it off because she has a wedding band on the same finger in front of the diamond ring, basically blocking it. So I snap her finger back, it folds straight over so the tip touches her wrist in one go and its strange because I always thought that if you break someones finger youll actually feel the bones break, hear it even, but I dont feel anything at all, its like folding paper, as if the finger was naturally supposed to bend back like that and shes screaming to me take it just take it but I cant, in fact within seconds I can see the break begin to swell up the base of her finger and now I know Im definitely not getting the ring off. And the door opens again and theres a man standing there in a red sweater and we know its all fucked now, we have to get away but were still hoping we can at least cut out with something to show for our efforts and the man grabs his wife around her waist and pulls her towards him, drags her into the doorway while Gottis like Snoopz come, fuck this, we need to cut blood and hes turning away from the door ready to duss back to the whip which is waiting in the middle of the road and in my head Im like fuck dat Im not leaving with nothing. And the man drags his wife into the house and as he does this hes pulling the door shut and I can see their entrance hall is carpeted beige all thick and soft like the kind of carpet that holds the heat of a resting sunbeam so you actually wanna lie down and fall asleep on it and mad quick I reach through the door as its closing and manage to grab the woman by her wrist and I pull her arm out just as the door is slamming shut and the man slams the front door hard on his wifes arm and I hear her scream. Gotti turns and runs down the path to the gate and I see through the slightly open door that the womans dropped her handbag so I bend down and grab it quicktime and the door opens fully again and the man has a cricket bat which he swings at me but Im already ducking down so it misses my head even though I feel the rush of air against my bally as it swipes past. I turn and run with the handbag, down the path, out the gate, but the getaway whip isnt there, its already moving slow down the road, one of the back doors is wide open and Gotti is shouting for me to get in and the man is running after me waving the cricket bat above his head roaring mad rage no words just pure noise and Im running after the whip, inhaling the morning, glass needles of sunlight piercing through the sky and falling all around me and Im not sure Im gonna make it, like I cant get level with the open passenger door, like nah this is so peak, it cant end like this, it cant But then I do and I dive in head first onto the backseat and Gotti grabs onto me and with my legs still sticking out the car bursts forward down the road, Gotti pulls me in, reaches over me, slams the door shut and now Tyrell is driving us away.