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Table of Contents

Mr. Bear, please dont eat me up, I pleaded.

Hah! he said. What makes you think I want to eat you up? His big, black, shiny eyes blinked at me. Id rather offer you a business proposition. How would you like to make a little extra spending money, Golda?

Well, needless to say, I became suspicious of this offer, especially since it came from a bear that talked. Money? I asked.

Yeah, a little extra never hurt nobody, and I know you Lockes and your neighbors aint got that much.

As we ate dinner that first night, Papa Bear explained what I was to do to earn my promised spending money. Seems he, along with a few other woodland creatures, had a moonshine still hidden up the mountain, and they all needed a little extra help.

I got one girl by the name of Red who helps out from time to time. She always wears this hooded mantle and carries a basket. She tells everybody she is taking lunch to her grandma, but actually she is carrying shine down to the valley. She has a wolf that works with her by distracting anybody that might stop her to check the basket. He makes as if to attack her, and whoever is about will chase after him leaving her free to go on her delivery route.

from My Great-great-great Grandma Golda Lockes by Annie Jones

Also Available from DAW Books:

If I Were an Evil Overlord, edited by Martin H. Greenberg and Russell Davis

Isnt it always more fun to be the bad guy? Some of fantasys finest, such as Esther Friesner, Tanya Huff, Donald J. Bingle, David Bischoff, Fiona Patton, and Dean Wesley Smith have risen to the editors evil challenge with stories ranging from a man given ultimate power by fortune cookie fortunes, to a tryants daughter bent on avenging her fathers untimely demiseand by the way, rising to power herselfto a fellow who takes his cutthroat business savvy and turns his expertise to the creation of a new career as an Evil Overlord, to a youth forced to play through game level after game level to fulfill someone elses schemes for conquest....

Misspelled, edited by Julie E. Czerneda

There is a right way and a wrong way to do practically anything. And when it comes to magic, skipping the directions, changing the ingredients, garbling up the words of a spellall of these can lead to unusual, sometimes dire, sometimes comical consequences. Here seventeen authorsKristen Britain, John Zakour, Doranna Durgin, Jim C. Hines, and othersaccept the challenge of creating spell driven situations that get out of control, where: a cybermancer has her spell disk corrupted by unexpected input... two students out to brew up some spells completely outside the curriculum forgo a most important ingredient... a has-been golf pro finds an old family spell that should improve his game, but at what cost?... and a young woman who orders a fairy-tale life, but she forgets to read the fine print and ends up with the worst parts of two fairy tales.

Enchantment Place, edited by Denise Little

A new mall is always worth a visit, especially if its filled with one-of-a-kind specialty stores. And the shops in Enchantment Place couldnt be more special. For Enchantment Place lives up to its name, catering to a rather unique clientele, ranging from vampires and were-creatures, to wizards and witches, to elves and unicorns. In short, those with shopping needs not likely to be met in the chain stores. With stories by Mary Jo Putney, Peter Morwood, Diane Duane, Laura Resnick, Esther Friesner, Sarah A. Hoyt and others.

Copyright 2009 by Jean Rabe and Tekno Books.

All Rights Reserved.
DAW Book Collectors No. 1476.
DAW Books are distributed by Penguin Group (USA).
All characters in this book are fictitious.
Any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental.

The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal, and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the authors rights is appreciated.

First Printing, May 2009

DAW TRADEMARK REGISTERED
U.S. PAT. AND TM. OFF. AND FOREIGN COUNTRIES
MARCA REGISTRADA
HECHO EN U.S.A.
.S. A.

eISBN : 978-1-101-02577-2

http://us.penguingroup.com

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Introduction copyright 2009 by Jean Rabe

Waifs, copyright 2009 by Dennis L. McKiernan

My Great-Great-Grandma Golda Lockes, copyright 2009 by Doris Stever

Once They Were Seven, copyright 2009 by Chris Pierson

Capricious Animistic Tempter, copyright 2009 by Mickey Zucker Reichert

A Charming Murder, copyright 2009 by Mary Louise Eklund

Jack and the Genetic Beanstalk, copyright 2009 by Robert E. Vardeman

Whats in a Name?, copyright 2009 by Kathleen Watness

No Good Deed, copyright 2009 by Jody Lynn Nye

The Red Path, copyright 2009 by Jim C. Hines

Lost Child, copyright 2009 by Steven D. Sullivan

Rapunzel Strikes Back, copyright 2009 by Brendan DuBois

Revenge of the Little Match Girl, copyright 2009 by Paul Genesse

Clockwork Heart, copyright 2009 by Ramsey Tome Wyrm Lundock

The Hundred-Year Nap, copyright 2009 by Skip and Penny Williams

Five Goats and a Troll, copyright 2009 by Elizabeth A. Vaughan

Something About Mattresses, copyright 2009 by Janet Deaver-Pack

Three Wishes, copyright 2009 by Kelly Swails

The Adventure of the Red Riding Hoods, copyright 2009 by Michael A. Stackpole

INTRODUCTION

W hen I was a kid, Id make up my own fairy talesor, rather, I liked to twist the age-old ones. After hearing about The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe and Red Riding Hood for the umpteenth times, Id craft my improved versions. I remember fancying the wolf catching all three pigs and then proceeding to huff and puff and blow down The Old Womans shoe. It was the same wolf that caught Red Riding Hood unawares and later nabbed Chicken Little and Brer Rabbit and the race-winning turtle and then gnawed on Paul Bunyans axe handle for good measure. The wolf always won. I guess I was a quirky kid.

In any event, I liked my fairy tales folded, spindled, and a little bit mutilated... like many of the fine stories in this anthology. Sure, the original versions are just fine and dandy, but the altered versions show some great creativity, cleverness, and maybe a dash of maliciousness.

I was delighted so many wonderful authors could contribute. They pleasantly stirred my imagination.

I hope they stir yours.

Thank you for picking this up!

Jean Rabe

WAIFS

Dennis L. McKiernan

Dennis McKiernan is known for his high-fantasy novels, including The Iron Tower series. He served in the U.S. Air Force and holds degrees in electrical engineering. He also has written in the science fiction, horror, and crime fiction genres. He lives in Tucson, AZ. His other works include: Once Upon a Winters Night, Once Upon a Summer Day, Once Upon a Spring Morn , and Once Upon a Dreadful Time.

W hen I finally escaped from that thrice-cursed oven, I went after those two little shites who not only had tried to roast and eat me but had destroyed my house as well. I mean, do you know just how long it takes to make even a single gumdrop? And they have to be special, toowarding off rain, not getting all gooey and soft in the sunshine, resisting those effing birds that come and peck away at my decorative and colorful touches as if its their right. Orioles are especially bad. And gingerbread eavesdont talk to me about gingerbread eaves. I mean, they have to hold up under the most severe downpours and not turn to mealy slush and sluice away. Oh, and sugar siding, too. Do you know just how hard it is to even get sugar in these dark ages? You can get plenty of honey, but sugar? The only thing honey is good for is to make rock-candy-hard shingles.

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