Zee - Natural disaster: I cover them, I am one

This book is dedicated to my late grandparents, Oma & Opa (Hilda & Adrian) Zuidgeest, George Hemleb, Paula Wesner, and John Craftand to my beautiful grandma Clara Craft, who remains a wonderful part of my life. Without all of you there is no meno messnaturally.

Copyright 2017 by Ginger Zee.

Cover images: ABC/Heidi Gutman

All rights reserved. Published by Kingswell, an imprint of Disney Book Group. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher.

For information address Kingswell, 1200 Grand Central Avenue, Glendale, California 91201

ISBN 978-1-368-01231-7

T en days before I started my job at ABC News, I checked myself into a mental health hospital. This is a compilation of stories leading up to and after that fateful decision that I hope will help demystify depression. This is the anti-Instagram, the raw, sometimes scary, and hopefully humorous life I have led so far.

This is me, a Natural Disaster.

I cover natural disasters, and Ive struggled with being one in my personal life.

From Hurricane Katrina to California wildfires and blizzards in Boston, Ive covered the nations largest natural disasters for more than a decade. Im intimate with human reaction and interaction during Mother Natures greatest fury. Coincidentally, through that process, I have finally started to figure myself out and oddly found quite a few parallels.

Earth is just one big ball of energy that is constantly attempting to find balance. The poles are cold and the equator is hot. Earth wants so badly to equalize that difference. In doing so, it creates storms. Many of them are dangerous. But all storms are necessary.

This helped me realize that all I am is just one big ball of energy that will at no point be constant, even though that is what I constantly yearn for. We get average temperature or average precipitation only from having extremes. Thats what life is: a series of extremes. The sooner we can embrace that, the more peaceful I believe we can be.

Very few natural disasters catch us by surprise. We see them coming, whether its through technology or our own eyes. And with that time, we make choices that can determine our fate. Do we stay in our homes or decide to flee? Do we shelter in the basement or go outside to watch? And then theres the aftermath. Do we let the natural disasters destroy us and consider ourselves victims of forces beyond our control, or do we find gratitude in being alive and being stronger for the experience? And most importantly, can we shift our focus off our own perceived tragedies and reach out a hand to somebody else going through the same type of storm? Thats why the title of my book is so meaningful for me. My job in some ways has helped me get through my own personal storms just by seeing the disasters as a metaphor for a universal human experience and has given me invaluable perspective along the way.

When I witness a natural disaster, I am particularly struck by the degree to which we are all the same. Natural disasters leave tremendous shock, destruction, and sadness in their wake. My biggest regret as a natural disaster is that I did, too. Most people walk around after the initial tragedy, bewildered. Then they often start acting irrational, looking for house keys to a home that is no longer standing, or standing in line at a drugstore thats been knocked to the ground. Eventually, sadness and some level of acceptance sets in. Hopefully, in the final phases of grief, we realize we are grateful to be alive and that we need to shift our focus off ourselves and onto helping others. Weve all seen the footage and pictures of the first responders and the ordinary people who put themselves at great risk to make a tourniquet out of a belt for a victim or swim into dangerous waters to bring a stranded boy and his dog onto a boat. Its quite inspiring, and in a weird way its what convinced me to write this book.

Initially, I flinched at the idea of writing a memoir, because I dont think anything Ive done in my life makes me that important. But then I thought of all the natural disasters in my own personal life that I have survived, how Ive grown stronger from them, and how Id like to share those if theres any possibility it will bring hope to somebody in the eye wall of their personal hurricane or comfort to other survivors to know they are not alone. No matter your storm, it never rains forever. It cant and it wont.

Thats where I am now. By no means do I think that Ive figured life out or that Im some model of perfectionbut its not raining. In fact, its pretty sunny on my side of the street. Im happily married and the mother of a beautiful baby boy, and I have my dream job. And while I still have a lot of road left ahead of me, Im at the point where I can look back at all the so-called disasters of my lifethe sometimes chaotic childhood, the failed engagement, the insecurities and people pleasing, and the abusive relationships, and just like when Ive been lucky enough to watch a tornado approach, I can find the beauty and strength that was born from each of my storms.

I can now accept the here and now. I understand that life isnt always full of sunshine. There are many rainy days. Clouds that persist for years at times. And even at this point in my life, where everything is quite bright, I know it wont be like this forever.

I also know that because of the chaos I created, the natural disaster I used to be, I was forced to do the kind of deep, soul-searching growth that means there will never be a next time when I find myself crying and drunk under a bridge in Chicago. There will never be another time when Im hiding under a hotel table calling the police because my boyfriend emotionally abused me.

I hope you get a good laugheven at the sad parts, I do. Finally telling these stories feels good. I think even some of the people closest to me may not know all these details. But this is me. A natural disaster. And this is me finally being okay with admitting that.

I canceled my first weddingtwice. Which is why I will always watch Runaway Bride when it comes on cable. Im not ashamed to admit that it makes me feel good about myself. Julia Roberts ran away four times from four different men, one of them being Richard Gere. My runaway technically makes me at least 50 percent more efficient and way less erratic than the goddess of romantic comedies. Unfortunately, at the time, I did not possess the kind of clearheaded confidence that would have allowed me to listen to my instincts and save everybody a whole lot of drama, pain, and security deposits by canceling my wedding just once. The fact that my fianc, Joe, was a great guy, the kind of guy who fixes things and plays catch with the neighborhood kidsplus lets you watch