Krosoczka - Platypus Police Squad: Never Say Narwhal

The full moon was rising on a Saturday night in Kalamazoo City, the town that never sleeps. Bamboo, Kalamazoo Citys hottest nightclub, was bouncing to the beat of the house band. Roxie, the lead singer, belted out their latest hits as teenagers jammed the dance floor. Servers swarmed around the room, hoisting trays heaped with the most delectable salmon, bass, tuna, and trout. There was simply no finer place to be.

Just above the packed dance floor was a dark pane of glass, and on the opposite side of that glass was Frank Pandini Jr.s top-secret office. It was there that the citys richest businessman and its newly elected mayor could look down at his nightclub and watch who was coming in and out. This room also provided just enough privacy for activities Pandini wished to keep secret.

At that moment, Frank Pandini Jr. stood in front of a wall of video screens, engaged in just such an activity. The largest screen, in the center, showed a satellite map of the city and the waters that surrounded it. All of the other screens showed live video feeds from small cameras hidden in Pandinis other prime businesses. He could watch the local college football team lifting weights at Roar. Or he could peek at a couple canoodling over a romantic dinner at Black and White. Pandinis power and his vantage point gave him access to all the citys secrets. Most days he would stand in front of these monitors, beaming with pride at his success.

But today he was not smiling. He clenched his fists, and beads of sweat clung to the fur on his brow. He removed his trademark tuxedo jacket and draped it over the back of his chair. He rolled up his sleeves. He began to pace the office from one end to the other.

Bobby, Pandinis most trusted security guard, cracked his massive knuckles. You dont need to worry, boss, he said. Everything is going as planned.

Irving Myers, Pandinis chief political strategist, wasnt even half Bobbys size, but his tone was just as tough. If you-know-who is backand thats a big ifit isnt anything we cant handle. We got you into the mayors office, didnt we?

Pandini paced even faster. You dont know what hes capable of, he growled. You dont know what he KNOWS. He could ruin everything weve built.

Youre the most powerful creature in the city, said Bobby. Theres nothing and nobody you cant stop.

Im so close, whispered Pandini. So close to doing everything I set out to accomplish.

Bobby grinned. Starting with the Platypus Police Squad.

Pandini nodded. Every time I see a badge or hear a siren it is a reminder of what they did to my father, to my family.

Bobby and Irving had heard this all before. They knew their boss had to let off some steam.

Pandini continued. My father built this town. He brought in the money and jobs that put Kalamazoo City on the map. He planted the seeds for these skyscrapers we see around us. So he bent a few laws here and there. This city would be nothing without him. A disaster. Abandoned. But does he get any credit? No. Instead he is remembered as a scourge, while Lieutenant Dailey has been elevated to sainthood in the memories of everyone who has benefited from my fathers work, and his old partner, Corey OMalley, is a celebrated veteran of the squad. And then theres that other detectiveRick Zengo, Lieutenant Daileys own grandsonwho has been sticking his dumb duckbill into my business since the day he was given his boomerang.

Someday well see that boomerang mounted, boss, Bobby said. On your trophy wall.

Well mount his tail too, said Myers.

The map of Kalamazoo City began to beep. Pandini spun around to the center monitor. A tiny dot blinked offshore. It picked up speed as it inched closer and closer to the bay.

Pandinis eyes widened. Now, what might that be? he whispered hoarsely.

Two teenagers approached the docks on the south side of town, hand in hand.

I dont know about this, Blake. Its pretty sketchy down here at night. Vanessa OMalley clenched her boyfriends paw tightly.

Sweetie, itll be fine, reassured Blake. Well get the best view of the full moon from down here. Besides, if any thugs try anything, Ill protect us. Blake put up his fists.

Right, laughed Vanessa, rolling her eyes. My hero.

They stepped toward the edge of the rickety dock. The wooden boards creaked beneath their feet, loud in the quiet night.

Vanessa turned her eyes to the choppy waters, where the reflection of the moon and stars sparkled before them. She gaped in awe. The night sky looked nothing like this from her bedroom window. This was like a light show.

Its the last full moon before graduation, said Blake.

Oh stop it, giggled Vanessa. Youre so dramatic.

Just romantic, said Blake as he kissed her on the top of her head.

Here, lets take a pic, said Vanessa. She pulled out her phone and extended her arm, pointing the lens back at them. They put their heads together as she hit the photo button.

Thats when Vanessa heard a rumble. She looked at her boyfriends stomach.

Um... arent you going to say excuse me?

That wasnt me, he said.

They heard the rumble again, this time louder and out in the water.

Whats going on? Vanessa asked. The ground began to tremble.

I dont know, said Blake, his voice shaking. But I think we should get out of here!

Waves began to roll, breaking up the flicker of moonlight on the water. Blake and Vanessa turned to run. A dark shadow rose from the waters behind them, its horn piercing the night sky. It crashed onto the dock, sending shards of wood flying. Vanessa clutched her boyfriends paw in one hand and her phone in the other as she bolted along the collapsing dock and dove headlong onto solid ground.

Vanessa turned and caught a glimpse of the creature just before it slipped back beneath the waves. It bellowed, an awful, pained roar.

The narwhal was back in Kalamazoo City.

FOR DOWNTOWN JORDAN BROWN

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