McKinsey and Company - Mind Without Fear

Mind Without Fear
Copyright 2019 by Rajat Gupta

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher. For information, please contact RosettaBooks at , or by mail at 125 Park Ave., 25th Floor, New York, NY 10017

First published in India by Juggernaut Books 2019
American edition published by RosettaBooks 2019

Interior photographs come from the personal archive of the author

Cover design by Gavin Morris
Interior design by R. Ajith Kumar
Jacket photos: Bloomberg / Getty Images

Library of Congress Control Number:
ISBN-13 (print): 978-1-9481-2246-7
ISBN-13 (ebook): 978-0-7953-5262-1

www.RosettaBooks.com

This book is dedicated to three generations of amazing women in my life:

Anita, who has been a true friend and partner for more than fifty years.

Sonu, Megha, Aditi, and Kushy, who add meaning to my life,
keep me humble, and make me proud.

Meera and Nisa, who are a constant source of joy and
who visited me in prison every week.

Lekha and Riya, whose births have been the happiest events
since my release.

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;

Where knowledge is free;

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments

by narrow domestic walls;

Where words come out from the depth of truth;

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way

into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;

Where the mind is led forward by thee

into ever-widening thought and action

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Rabindranath Tagore, Gitanjali

Preface

Westport, Connecticut, January 2019

I am an orphan. Immigrant. Businessman. Leader. Philanthropist. Role model. Convicted felon. If you read the business press you might have followed my story, which captured the publics attention during 2011 and 2012. Here is the version most people heard, summed up in three headlines:

A Stunning Fall from Grace for a Star Executive.
The New York Times , October 26, 2011

Rajat Gupta Guilty of Insider Trading.
The Washington Post , June 15, 2012

McKinsey, Goldman, jail.
The Economist , October 25, 2012

Hundreds of articles have been written about my case, as well as two books, detailing how I was charged and found guilty of insider trading in June of 2012. But my side of the story has never been told. I never spoke to the press or gave interviews to those writing books. Most critically, to my great regret, I chose not to testify at my own trial. Consequently, the jury, the press, and the public saw only, as my lawyer put it, a cropped picture. The judge went out of his way to block any reference to my character and to the aspects of my work that mattered most to me. The prosecutors were skillful in manipulating the press. And I missed that opportunity to tell my own story, and to let the jury, and the public, see who I am directly. For that, I take full responsibility.

This book is that story. Its a much bigger story than the courtroom drama that unfolded in the summer of 2012 and the tumultuous years leading up to it. I am in the eighth decade of my life, and my primary intent is to share the lessons I have learned from the interesting and in many ways extraordinary journey I have taken. From Kolkata to Delhi to Harvard to New York to Scandinavia and to every corner of the world. From humble beginnings to global influence. From consultant to leader to business statesman and humanitarian. From respect and authority to suspicion and disgrace. From freedom to incarceration to freedom again. Like any life, mine has had its ups and downs, its struggles and triumphs, its dark nights and its bright mornings. And some of the most precious lessons of my life were found in the unlikeliest of placeslike the jail cell where I began writing this book.

My intent, in these pages, is not to protest my innocence or seek redemption. The justice system found me guilty of a crime and I have served my time and paid my dues. I can never reclaim the greatest costs of this episode: the years of my life it took away, the friendships lost, the reputation destroyed, and the important work put aside. I know that I did not commit the crime, but I also know that I would not be the man I am today had I not gone through this painful series of events. It perhaps would have been easy to say why me? and indulge in self-pity and victimization, but I prefer to accept what has happened and strive to become a better person as a result of those experiences. All of it has brought into sharper focus the trajectory of my entire life, illuminating the philosophy and values that have guided it.

Like anyone who has lived a full life, I have some regrets. The one that haunts me most is my choice not to take the stand. Could I have persuaded the jury that the charges against me were false? I honestly dont know. Its hard to prove a negative. And in those years following the financial crisis, when so many hard-working people were suffering its devastating consequences, it was all too easy to ascribe guilt to anyone connected to the financial industry. Had I testified, perhaps I could at least have filled in many of the blanks and added all-important explanations for events which, taken out of context, seemed much more damning than they were. Perhaps I could have demonstrated that the crimes with which I was charged made no sense in the context of my life, my motives, and my values. Perhaps I could have convinced the men and women of the jury that I was a human being guilty of nothing more than an all-too-human misjudgment of character, and not the caricature of Wall Street greed that was being drawn by the prosecution. But I will never know. In the end, the prosecutor told a good storynot a true story, but a believable one, given the climate of the time. And in my silence, I did not offer a better story.

Not too long ago, I took my twin granddaughters to the US Open tennis tournament. We were strolling between the courts when two strangers approached meboth Indians in their twenties. Its so good to see you here, one of them said. Youve been a role model for us. I hope you are doing well. We chatted for a couple of minutes, and they took some pictures with me, before we went our separate ways. If I think about who I would most like to read this book, its people like them. People who encountered my story or my work, who were inspired by my values or my success and confused or disheartened by my downfall. People who have been wondering: Why did this happen? And how is he doing? Perhaps they will see parts of their own life story reflected in mine. Perhaps they will learn a lesson or two about what to do and what not to do.

This book is also for my granddaughters, who asked me, Nana, who were those people? Why did they want to take pictures with you? They were too young to understand the drama that erupted in the heart of their family during the first few years of their lives, or to realize where they were when they visited me, week after week, in prison. But as they get older, I would like them to have the full story, even when I am no longer here to tell it.