Moseley - Painful yarns: metaphors & stories to help understand the biology of pain

painful yarns

metaphors & stories to help understand the biology of pain.

by g. lorimer moseley

yarn:\_yrn\, noun, a tale, especially a story of adventure or incredible happenings

To buy this book, go to any good bookshop. It would be cheaper to go to:

www.lulu.com

www.physiouk.co.uk - United Kingdom

www.noigroup.com - Asia/Pacific

This edition of painful yarns is published in 2010 by Dancing Giraffe Press.

Copyright 2010 Lorimer Moseley

The right of Lorimer Moseley to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs & Patents Act UK 1988 and the Copyright Act 1968 Australia.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, Lorimer Moseley and Dancing Giraffe Press.

A CiP catalogue record for this title is available from the National Library of Australia:

Moseley, G. Lorimer (Graham Lorimer) 1970
Painful Yarns. Metaphors & stories to help understand the biology of pain.

Bibliography.
Includes index.
ISBN 9780980358803 (pbk.)
ISBN 9780987342638 (ebk.)
1. pain fiction. 2. Pain Physiological aspects fiction. 3. Rehabilitation Fiction. I. Title.
A823.4

Printed & bound in Australia by Noigroup.
Front cover: A French bakery.
Back cover: Pleasure or pain?

This book should be cited as: Moseley, GL (2007) Painful yarns.
Metaphors & stories to help understand the biology of pain. Dancing Giraffe Press. Canberra, Australia: 113 pages.

I decided to write this book after a great deal of lobbying from two groups of people. The first group was patients with whom I shared these stories as I tried to explain to them what we now know about the biology of pain. I love stories as a way to back up biology. I am convinced that if people in pain can understand their pain in terms of its underlying biology, it helps them cope with it and ultimately overcome it. I rely on Explain PainRef List No. 1 to present the biology, and I use stories like the ones in this book to cement it. So this book is for people in pain.

The second group who lobbied for this book was clinicians with whom I shared some of these stories at conferences, at seminars and at courses. I would always get asked Have you written those stories down? Well, now I have. I have read versions of some of these stories being recounted as part of pain management program manuals. I am cool with that, but I didnt feel right about the way the stories had become that little bit grander than they already were I think one had me flying a helicopter while half conscious (I didnt rush to correct it mind you I felt a bit like Skippy the Bush Kangaroo). So, this book is for clinicians.

I have three hopes for this book. First, I hope you find the stories as interesting and as fun as I do. Second, I hope the stories help you understand the biology of pain. Third, I hope that TMBA, Mick, JK, Frank, Heidi, Smurph, Davo, Hannu, Dimos & Tan know I really appreciate your comments and suggestions on earlier versions of painful yarns.

Lorimer, Oxford, 2007.

Or: Pain is a critical protective device. Ignore it at your own peril.

When I first left school, I got what remains the coolest job I have ever had. It was so cool, I cant even write here where I worked, nor what exactly I did. Now that is cool. I can say, however, that Nigel Mawson worked there too.

Nigel was the nicest of about 15 middle aged investigative coppers who once told me I had a good straight drive but I neednt try and hit the cover off the ball. That David Hookes said I had a good straight drive was enough for me, as a 14 year old, to like him. That Nigel Mawson sounded like him was enough for me, as a 19 year old, to like him.

The other thing that was peculiar and, to me, a bit endearing, was that he had an unusual habit of referring to everyone by their full name. I was always Lorimer Moseley. Never Lorimer. Never Moseley. Always Lorimer Moseley. He also did this in the third person - I will be taking Lorimer Moseley out with me today there is something Lorimer Moseley ought to see. I have always been drawn to people who adhere to a silly little habit like that, even when to do so is considered by everyone else to be undoubtedly odd. So, unlike the rest of the grim- faced, overweight, estranged-from-their-family, married-to-their- job, chain smoking, heavy drinking blokes, Nigel didnt scare me. That is why one day I asked him for a lift home from work.

Nigel drove a 1971 Skoda SuperSport 110. Nigel didnt care for it, particularly. In fact, he made it clear that he refused to know anything at all about cars, simply because his brother had always been obsessed by them. Nigel said that as teenagers, his brother was as obsessed with cars as Nigel was with girls. He said:

Nigel Mawson:My brother would want to get busy with his girl in the back of his car so he could check out how his car performed! He used to sit outside the loo while I was in there reading MAD magazines. Id shove loo paper in ears to avoid hearing him carry on about needing to bore out my Datsun 180B, and that my mates were all uncool because none of them had extractors.

Nigels brother had the last laugh however, by leaving Nigel the Skoda in his will.

The Skoda SuperSport 110 was a magnificently ridiculous car. The doors didnt shut properly. The ignition only started if the right hand indicator was on. It leaked in the rain and sounded like a kettle the very second it hit 51 mph. The most striking thing however, was not about the car. No, the most striking thing was this; before starting the car, Nigel would turn on the radio, detune it so there was nothing but static, and then turn it up to maximum volume. Only then would he start the car up.

There was no point attempting conversation once the radio was on. One day, I asked him before we got in:

LM:Nigel Mawson, why do you have the radio up so loud and why dont you ever tune it? Why dont you listen to something instead of that terrible static?

NM:Its not that loud Lorimer Moseley.

LM:Oh but it is Nigel Mawson, it is.

NM:I suppose I did think the horn was busted the other day because I couldnt hear it over the radio. I have the radio on to get rid of a strange knocking noise this car has. I hate knocking noises.

LM:(bemused and only vaguely interested look on face): Right

NM:Yeah, about a month after I got the little shitbox, a year or so ago I guess, I noticed a little tapping noise, somewhere at the front there (Nigel waved a disinterested hand toward the front of the car). It went away when I turned on the radio, so I didnt think more about it. The radio has somethin wrong with it so that every time I get in here I have to turn it up again. Then the radio went completely jiggered and had basically no volume - I could hear the tapping noise something fierce in the gaps between sentences or songs. So I shifted the tuning a bit and that seemed to do the trick.

LM:So what was- what is, the noise?

NM:Fucked if I know. Fucked if I care.

LM:You are a very interesting man Nigel Mawson

NM:And you are a prying little prick Lorimer Moseley