Panych - The Trespassers

CONTENTS The Trespassers premiered on July 26, 2009, at the Studio Theatre, as part of the Stratford Festival, Stratford, Ontario, with the following cast and crew: CASH : Kelli Fox MILTON : Robert King ROXY : Lucy Peacock LOWELL : Noah Reid HARDY : Joseph Ziegler Director: Morris Panych Designer: Ken MacDonald Lighting Designer: Jason Hand Assistant Lighting Designer: Siobhn Sleath Stage Manager: Ann Stuart Assistant Stage Manager: Bruno Gonslaves Production Assistant: Melissa Bergeron Production Stage Manager: Marylu Moyer The play unfolds over the course of a few weeks, in some town in the middle of nowhere, not small enough to be a quaint place or large enough to be in any way an interesting one. They had a sawmill there, which was a going concern, but it has since shut down; it now crowns a sort of half-town, gutted of its reason for being. The story unfolds in many locations in town, moving in a generally chronological fashion; these events are recalled from the mind of LOWELL . Out of the darkness, an ungainly boy, fifteen years of age, appears in the middle of a police interview, holding a peach. Nearby, RCMP OFFICER MILTON takes notes. LOWELL Between just the two of us, we could collect a dozen peaches in one haul.

A dozen is twelve, which is a religious number, based on the Apostles. MILTON Okay, a dozen. LOWELL A bakers dozen is thirteen. Thou shalt not steal is the Sixth Commandment. I believe its the Sixth Commandment. Or its the Seventh.

My mother made me memorize them. CASH , a tired woman in her late thirties, appears. CASH I didnt. LOWELL And you have to listen to your mother. Thats the Fourth Commandment. MILTON Lying, what about that? LOWELL Technically, not a sin.

MILTON Bearing false witness against your neighbour, or something like that? CASH Neighbour means anybody . HARDY Theres something in-between lying and not lying. Its called a story. MILTON What about murder? Isnt that a Commandment? LOWELL considers. CASH Its a Commandment. LOWELL Murder is the Fifth.

And it isnt just a person. It can count if its a frog, sayif you killed it for no reason. Thats what I believe. CASH You wont get a straight answer. LOWELL Ororhunting, unless you eat it after; or you could freeze it. But stealing, thatsbesides, even if it was on somebody elses property, it isnt stealing if the peach falls from the tree; thats what my grandfather said.

MILTON What your grandfather said, okay. HARDY appears, a wiry old man in a straw hat, carrying a stack of newspapers. HARDY Anything that isnt attached to something else belongs to God. LOWELL You dont believe in God. HARDY Dont I? LOWELL Youre an atheist, Grandpa. HARDY Youll find, as you get older, God starts to slip into the conversation.

LOWELL Id like to be old. HARDY Just dont ever get the feeling that youve lived too long. LOWELL I wont. HARDY Im going to the shed for a bit. Say nothing to your mother on the subject. LOWELL My grandfather had a stash of newspaper clippings out there, which he took out of their folders and read.

My mother called it unseemly. CASH Trash. LOWELL He listened to his old records out there. He collected stories about crime. Murder, mostly, but also grand larceny, rape, a story about a man who cut off his balls by accident, only it didnt say balls, it said a disfiguring accident involving an olive press. Strains of an old recording.

HARDY You need to read between the lines. LOWELL Sometimes hed let me look at his clippings. On a hot day, say. When it was too hot for peach expeditions, or going down to the trough. Horses used to water there, in the old days. You could. You could.

HARDY A guy gets off his horse, dips his hat in, pours cool water over his head. LOWELL Were you ever a cowboy? HARDY I knew one. Buster Hinkey. Rode in the rodeo. But he fell off a mountainblown clean off in a sudden gust of wind. Thats the way to go: a sudden gust of wind, Lowell.

Dont stick around for the details. LOWELL Mom says she can hardly wait for you to drop dead. The music stops. MILTON Your mother said that. CASH I never said that. HARDY Your mother has a way with words.

LOWELL Ever since Dad left, Mom had it in for my grandfather. CASH wears a security guard uniform from the local Museum of Forestry. CASH And that is also not true. LOWELL Its all very psychological. CASH Is that a peach? LOWELL Im not sure. CASH Did your grandfather put you up to this? LOWELL He says theyre fair play.

CASH Not from someone elses property. LOWELL They dont even live here anymore. CASH Doesnt matter. LOWELL Its the redistribution of wealth. CASH Theres no such thing. LOWELL Theyre just lying there on the ground, Mom.

Do you call that an equitable situation? CASH A what? LOWELL If somebody doesnt use something, then they shouldnt have it, and thats final. CASH I dont have the energy for you, Lowell. Go find something useful to do. LOWELL Everything I do around here is practically illegal. CASH If it involves a rifle again, yes. MILTON Tell me about the rifle.

LOWELL I took it out so Grandpa could teach me how to aim. HARDY appears with a rifle. HARDY Cock your head slightly to the side; thats it. Pay attention; this is a dangerous weapon. LOWELL You said cock. HARDY You should be able to see clearly the two sights of the rifle.

Thats how you line it up. MILTON What did you shoot? HARDY Steady hand, steady hand. See if you can hit the letter o . LOWELL We tried to shoot the r completely out of the sign and make the v into an r so it would say pirate property. MILTON So youre a pretty good shot then. LOWELL No.

A gunshot, distant, but distinct. HARDY Looks more like primate property now. LOWELL Sometimes we shot at peaches, to watch them explode. HARDY shoots. HARDY Beautiful. LOWELL Besides, what else is there to do in this thankless valley? MILTON You tell me.

LOWELL You tell me. MILTON Oh. Im sorry. Are you asking the questions, now? LOWELL Why do we live here anyway, Grandpa? HARDY Somebody had to. LOWELL Sitting on a porch all day is about it. Grandpa calls this booger country.

HARDY Nose pickingits about the only industry left. CASH Dont you have any friends? LOWELL No. CASH What have you done all day? LOWELL You know. CASH What about that boy who just moved in? That one with the what do you call it LOWELL Weird head? ( out ) A boy moved to our town. It was a singular experience. No one has moved here since anyone can remember; they only just move out.

But he moved in with his family and his weird head. They started a grocery but nobody goes thereever. CASH Dont say weird head. LOWELL ( to CASH ) His ears are too low; have you noticed? Grandpa says its from being amphibian. Did you know that we are descended from sea creatures? Were at the forward end of an evolutionary process, but if something goes haywire in the womb, its what happensa reversion to am-phib-ianism. Thats why you look exactly like a fish before youre bornbecause youre not even a human being yet, just evolving into one, basically.

CASH A fetus is a human being. LOWELL Thats not what Grandpa says. CASH Your grandfather is going to Hell. LOWELL Hell is completely full. HARDY Not even the Pope could get in now. CASH Whatever happened to that girl from the apartments? Shes nice.

LOWELL Her father got arrested. CASH He did? LOWELL Anyway, their house smells like pee. CASH No it doesnt. LOWELL How would you know? CASH I just know. LOWELL It smells like pee. Im telling you.

All the boys in one room and they all pee the bed; theres five of them in there. Five boys in one room. You should see it. Its a dereliction of social mores. CASH Is that right? LOWELL By the way, is it okay to jack off with another person? CASH Oh my God. LOWELL Just asking.