Phelps M. William - To Love and to Kill

Table of Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

THE MOST GRATITUDE I can ever extend, perpetually there alongside my heartfelt appreciation, has to go to my readers. You continue to support my work and I am humbled by your continued presence every time a new book is published. I say this in every book, but I am forever at a loss for words when trying to say thank you, because nothing I can say is, in my opinion, enough. My readers are the most important part of what I do.

I also want to extend a big thanks to the fans of Dark Minds on Investigation Discovery: I am honored by your dedication and willingness to watch the series and support it. That work behind the series takes so much out of me emotionally, to have such a large and dedicated audience, week after week, makes me believe the message is being heard.

My publisher, Laurie Parkin (who retired in 2014 after forty years in the biz!), and the entire team at Kensington Publishing Corp. deserve my utmost respect and gratitude for the passion and confidence each one of them puts into the books I write. These are great people who love what they do. To be part of Kensingtons continued success as an independent publisher is a blessing. I am lucky. I tell myself this every morning as I awake and get to work.

As I was finishing work on this book, I met Norma Perez-Hernandez, my editors personal assistant, at a publishing event in New York City one early spring evening in 2014. Norma and I had a nice conversation and she enthusiastically praised my work, which I was greatly humbled by. I wanted to say thank you to Norma for not only being so excited about books in general, but for taking the time to stop and talk about my work and build so much excitement about it around the Kensington offices. Im grateful for having a cheerleader like Norma in the business, excited about my books, championing them within the day-to-day grind of the publishing industrybut I feel blessed that I was able to meet Norma and say thanks for the encouragement and support!

I would like also to give my sincere appreciation to everyone at Investigation Discovery and Beyond Productions involved in making Dark Minds, the best (nonfiction) crime show on television. Ive said this before many times, but it also needs repeating: It takes an army of devoted people to produce a television series. Among those I want to personally thank: Dark Minds show runner and series producer, by far the best in the biz at what he does, Andrew Fazz Farrell, who has been a mentor and blessing in my life. Likewise, each of the following, in his or her own way, has taught me everything I know about making quality-grade, great nonfiction television: Alex Barry, Colette Coco Sandstedt, John Mavety, Peter Heap, Mark Middis, Toby Prior, Peter Coleman, Derek Ichilcik, Jared Jars Transfield, Jo Telfer, Claire Westerman, Milena Gozzo, Cameron Power, Katie Ryerson, Inneke Smit, Pele Hehea, Jeremy Peek, Jeremy Adair, Geri Berman, Nadine Terens, Samantha Hertz, Lale Teoman, Hayden Anderson, Savino (from Onyx Sound Lab in Manchester, Connecticut), David OBrien, Ra-ey Saleh, Nathan Brand, Rebecca Clare, Anthony Toy, Mark Wheeler, Mandy Chapman, Jenny OShea, Jen Longhurst, Anita Bezjak, Geoff Fitzpatrick, John Luscombe, Debbie Gottschalk, Eugenie Jeannie Vink, Sucheta Sachdev, Sara Kozak, Kevin Bennett, Jane Latman and Henry Schleiff.

For my entertainment lawyer/business manager, Matthew Valentinas, a warm thank-you for embarking on this journey with me. I believe Matthew and I were destined to meet and connect. I appreciate Matthews passion for this business, inherent knowledge of television and film, and desire to see me succeed.

I would also like to thank Deb Allen and everyone at Jupiter Entertainment for helping me with the Carr/Fulgham case, encouraging me to look deeper into it, and providing me with documents and photos.

Terry Lenamon, Johnny Strong, Donald Buie, Brian Spivey, Staci Winston, Kae Charman, Patricia Ardovino, Captain Linda Vyse, Ben McCollum, and all of my anonymous sources, I appreciate the time and attention you gave to me while I worked on this important project. There are so many others, who asked me not to mention their names. I will respect that request and just give an overall thanks to them all.

I also want to mention that on June 9, 2014, Ben McCollum died in a one-vehicle accident in Orange Lake. Ben was thirty-seven years old. His obituary said he was talented, outgoing, helpful to those in need and a good friend. This news was shocking. I had been talking to Ben about creating a reality series based on his garage and his life. We lost touch. All indications, as the sections of this book about Ben implied, prove that Ben McCollum was a wonderful person and respected member of his communityI am sure he is and will be greatly missed. This news made me sad. I want to express my deepest condolences to anyone that knew and loved Ben, especially his family.

I cannot thank either Josh or Emilia for their participation because they murdered a human being and I detest that crime (and them) at the highest level.

We all need to thank Heather Strong for her courage to stay with this jackass as long as she did for the sake of her children. My only regret in looking at this case was that she didnt leave long before he killed her. Going back and looking at the trajectory of their lives and how it played out, I could almost see murder coming down the road. It was inevitable. I am sorry Heather never saw it herselfthough, part of me thinks she probably did.

Lastly, my family: Mathew, Jordon, Regina and April, whose dedication to her schoolwork and sports continues to be a true inspiration. I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. I never take this blessing for granted.

Also By M. William Phelps

Perfect Poison
Lethal Guardian
Every Move You Make
Sleep in Heavenly Peace
Murder in the Heartland
Because You Loved Me
If Looks Could Kill
Ill Be Watching You
Deadly Secrets
Cruel Death
Death Trap
Kill For Me
Love Her to Death
Too Young to Kill
Never See Them Again
Failures of the Presidents (coauthor)
Nathan Hale: The Life and Death of Americas First Spy
The Devils Rooming House: The True Story of
Americas Deadliest Female Serial Killer
The Devils Right Hand: The Tragic Story of the
Colt Family Curse
The Dead Soul: A Thriller (available as e-book only)
Murder, New England
Jane Doe No More
Kiss of the She-Devil
Bad Girls
Obsessed
The Killing Kind
She Survived: Melissa (e-book)
She Survived: Jane (e-book)
Id Kill for You

EPILOGUE

THERES SOMETHING TO be said for remorse, at least when it pertains to a convicted murderer admitting his or her role in the crime and sharing genuine sorrow. Remorse, in this manner, can only be defined as a deep regret for ones actions. Yet, within that regret, one who is truly remorseful must also express some form of repentance for the wrong he or she has committed. There has to be a sense of guilt and an understanding that a great moral wrong took place, and he or she is sorry for it and is willing to take responsibility.

Its rare that a writer/researcher/crime expert hears an ounce of true remorse from a murderer. Ive hardly ever experienced a convicted murderer sharing true remorse, in some twenty-five nonfiction crime books that I have written. I have interviewed dozens of criminals and murderers, even serial killers. This is why, for me, when I hear it from the mouth of a convicted, admitted murderer, it not only stands out, but I need to take a step back and evaluate the validity of that so-called remorse.