William Steig - Doctor De Soto

To Delia, Sidonie, Sylvain, Estelle, Kyle, Molly,
Reid, Tina, Serena, Zachary, and Zoe

An Imprint of Macmillan

DOCTOR DE SOTO. Copyright 1982 by William Steig. All rights reserved.
Distributed in Canada by H.B. Fenn and Company, Ltd.
Printed in January 2011 in China by South China Printing Co. Ltd., Dongguan City, Guangdong Province.
For information, address Square Fish, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.

Square Fish and the Square Fish logo are trademarks of Macmillan and
are used by Farrar, Straus and Giroux under license from Macmillan.

Library of Congress catalog card number: 82-15701
ISBN 978-0-312-61189-7

Originally published in the United States by Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Square Fish logo designed by Filomena Tuosto
First Square Fish Edition: April 2010
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3
www.squarefishbooks.com

eISBN 978-1-4668-0853-9

Doctor De Soto, the dentist, did very good work, so he had no end of patients. Those close to his own sizemoles, chipmunks, et ceterasat in the regular dentists chair.

Larger animals sat on the floor, while Doctor De Soto stood on a ladder.

For extra-large animals, he had a special room. There Doctor De Soto was hoisted up to the patients mouth by his assistant, who also happened to be his wife.

Doctor De Soto was especially popular with the big animals. He was able to work inside their mouths, wearing rubbers to keep his feet dry; and his fingers were so delicate, and his drill so dainty, they could hardly feel any pain.

Being a mouse, he refused to treat animals dangerous to mice, and it said so on his sign. When the doorbell rang, he and his wife would look out the window. They wouldnt admit even the most timid-looking cat.

One day, when they looked out, they saw a well-dressed fox with a flannel bandage around his jaw.

I cannot treat you, sir! Doctor De Soto shouted. Sir! Havent you read my sign?

Please! the fox wailed. Have mercy, Im suffering! And he wept so bitterly it was pitiful to see.

Just a moment, said Doctor De Soto. That poor fox, he whispered to his wife. What shall we do?

Lets risk it, said Mrs. De Soto. She pressed the buzzer and let the fox in.

He was up the stairs in a flash. Bless your little hearts, he cried, falling to his knees. I beg you, do something! My tooth is killing me.

Sit on the floor, sir, said Doctor De Soto, and remove the bandage, please.

Doctor De Soto climbed up the ladder and bravely entered the foxs mouth. Ooo-wow! he gasped. The fox had a rotten bicuspid and unusually bad breath.

This tooth will have to come out, Doctor De Soto announced. But we can make you a new one.

Just stop the pain, whimpered the fox, wiping some tears away.

Despite his misery, he realized he had a tasty little morsel in his mouth, and his jaw began to quiver. Keep open! yelled Doctor De Soto. Wide open! yelled his wife.

Im giving you gas now, said Doctor De Soto. You wont feel a thing when I yank that tooth.

Soon the fox was in dreamland. M-m-m, yummy, he mumbled. How I love them rawwith just a pinch of salt, and adrywhite wine.

They could guess what he was dreaming about. Mrs. De Soto handed her husband a pole to keep the foxs mouth open.

Doctor De Soto fastened his extractor to the bad tooth. Then he and his wife began turning the winch. Finally, with a sucking sound, the tooth popped out and hung swaying in the air.

Im bleeding! the fox yelped when he came to.

Doctor De Soto ran up the ladder and stuffed some gauze in the hole. The worst is over, he said. Ill have your new tooth ready tomorrow. Be here at eleven sharp.

The fox, still woozy, said goodbye and left. On his way home, he wondered if it would be shabby of him to eat the De Sotos when the job was done.

After office hours, Mrs. De Soto molded a tooth of pure gold and polished it. Raw with salt, indeed, muttered Doctor De Soto. How foolish to trust a fox!

He didnt know what he was saying, said Mrs. De Soto. Why should he harm us? Were helping him.

Because hes a fox! said Doctor De Soto. Theyre wicked, wicked creatures.