John Le Carre - The Tailor of Panama

John Le Carr

The Tailor of Panama

1996

Bestselling author John le Carr has once again effortlessly expanded the borders of the spy novel to bring readers an exuberant, tense, heartbreaking and provoking entertainment straight out of the pages of tomorrow's history.

Harry Pendel is the charismatic proprietor of Pendel and Braithwaite Limitada of Panama, through whose doors everyone who is anyone in Central America passes; Andrew Osnard, mysterious and fleshly, is a spy. His secret mission is two-pronged: to keep a watchful eye on the political manoeuvrings leading up to the American handover of the Panama Canal on 31st December 1999; and to secure for himself the immense private fortune that has until now churlishly eluded him.

I t was a perfectly ordinary Friday afternoon in tropical Panama until Andrew Osnard barged into Harry Pendels shop, asking to be measured for a suit. When he barged in, Pendel was one person. By the time he barged out again Pendel was another. Total time elapsed: seventy-seven minutes according to the mahogany-cased clock by Samuel Collier of Eccles, one of the many historic features of the house of Pendel & Braithwaite Co., Limitada, Tailors to Royalty, formerly of Savile Row, London and presently of the Va Espaa, Panama City.

Or just off it. As near to the Espaa as made no difference. And P&B for short.

The day began prompt at six when Pendel woke with a jolt to the din of bandsaws and building work and traffic in the valley and the sturdy male voice of Armed Forces Radio. I wasnt there, it was two other blokes, she hit me first and it was with her consent, Your Honour, he informed the morning, because he had a sense of impending punishment but couldnt place it. Then he remembered his eight-thirty appointment with his bank manager and sprang out of bed at the same moment that his wife Louisa howled. No, no, no, and pulled the sheet over her head because mornings were her worst time.

Why not yes, yes, yes, for a change? he asked her in the mirror while he waited for the tap to run hot. Lets have a bit of optimism round the place, shall we, Lou?

Louisa groaned but her corpse under the sheet didnt stir so Pendel amused himself with a game of cocky repartee with the news reader in order to lift his spirits.

The Commander in charge of US Southern Command last night again insisted that the United States will honour its treaty obligations to Panama, both in the principle and in the deed, the news reader proclaimed with male majesty.

Its a con, darling, Pendel retorted lathering soap onto his face. If it wasnt a con you wouldnt go on saying it, would you, General?

The Panamanian President has today arrived in Hong Kong for the start of his two-week tour of SouthEast Asian capitals, said the news reader.

Here we go, heres your boss! Pendel called, and held out a soapy hand to command her attention.

He is accompanied by a team of the countrys economic and trade experts, including his Forward Planning advisor on the Panama Canal, Dr Ernesto Delgado.

Well done, Ernie, said Pendel approvingly, with an eye to his recumbent wife.

On Monday the presidential party will continue to Tokyo for substantive talks aimed at increasing Japanese investment in Panama, said the news reader.

And those geishas arent going to know what hit them, said Pendel in a lower tone, as he shaved his left cheek. Not with our Ernie on the prowl.

Louisa woke up with a crash.

Harry, I do not wish you to speak of Ernesto in those terms even in jest, please.

No, dear. Very sorry, dear. It shall not happen again. Ever, he promised while he navigated the difficult bit just under the nostrils.

But Louisa was not appeased.

Why cant Panama invest in Panama? she complained, sweeping aside the sheet and sitting bolt upright in the white linen nightdress she had inherited from her mother. Why do we have to have Asians do it? Were rich enough. Weve got one hundred and seven banks in this town alone, dont we? Why cant we use our own drug money to build our own factories and schools and hospitals?

The. we was not literal. Louisa was a Zonian, raised in the Canal Zone in the days when by extortionate treaty it was United States territory for ever, even if the territory was only ten miles wide and fifty miles long and sur-rounded by despised Panamanians. Her late father was an Army engineer who, having been seconded to the Canal, took early retirement to become a servant of the Canal Company. Her late mother was a libertarian Bible teacher in one of the Zones segregated schools.

You know what they say, dear, Pendel replied, hold-ing up an earlobe and shaving beneath it. He shaved as others might paint, loving his bottles and brushes. Panamas not a country, its a casino. And we know the boys who run it. You work for one of them, dont you?

He had done it again. When his conscience was bad he couldnt help himself any more than Louisa could help rising.

No, Harry, I do not. I work for Ernesto Delgado and Ernesto is not one of them. Ernesto is a straight arrow, he has ideals, he cherishes Panamas future as a free and sovereign state in the community of nations. Unlike them he is not on the take, he is not carpetbagging his countrys inheritance. That makes him very special and very, very rare.

Secretly ashamed of himself, Pendel turned on the shower and tested the water with his hand.

Pressures down again, he said brightly. Serves us right for living on a hill.

Louisa got out of bed and yanked her nightdress over her head. She was tall and long-waisted, with dark tough hair and the high breasts of a sportswoman. When she forgot herself she was beautiful. But when she remembered herself again, she stooped her shoulders and looked glum.

Just one good man, Harry, she persisted as she rammed her hair inside her showercap. Thats all it takes to make this country work. One good man of Ernestos calibre. Not another orator, not another egomaniac, just one good Christian ethical man is all it takes. One decent capable administrator who is not corrupt, who can fix the roads and the drains and the poverty and the crime and the drugs and preserve the Canal and not sell it to the highest bidder. Ernesto sincerely wishes to be that person. It does not behove you or anybody else to speak ill of him,

Dressing quickly, though with his customary care, Pendel hastened to the kitchen. The Pendels, like everyone else who was middleclass in Panama, kept a string of servants, but an unspoken puritanism dictated that the master of the family make breakfast. Poached egg on toast for Mark, bagel and cream cheese for Hannah. And passages by heart from The Mikado quite pleasantly sung because Pendel loved his music. Mark was dressed and doing his homework at the kitchen table. Hannah had to be coaxed from the bathroom where she was worrying about a blemish on her nose.

Then a helter-skelter of recrimination and farewells as Louisa, dressed but late for work at the Panama Canal Commission Administration Building, leaps for her Peugeot and Pendel and the kids take to the Toyota and set off on the school rat-run, left, right, left down the steep hillside to the main road, Hannah eating her bagel and Mark wrestling with homework in the bouncing four-track and Pendel saying sorry about the rush today, gang, Ive got a bit of an early pow-wow with the money-boys, and privately wishing he hadnt been cheap about Delgado.

Then a spurt on the wrong carriageway, courtesy of the morning operativo that allows city-bound commuters to use both lanes. Then a life-and-death scramble through charging traffic into small roads again, past North American-style houses very like their own to the glass-and-plastic village with its Charlie Pops and McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken and the funfair where Mark had his arm broken by an enemy bumper car last Fourth of July, and when they got to the hospital it was full of kids with firework burns.