Rollins - See A Grown Man Cry/Now Watch Him Die
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- Book:See A Grown Man Cry/Now Watch Him Die
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- Publisher:2.13.61 Publications
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- Year:2011;2009
- City:New York
- Rating:4 / 5
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Treadmill
Endless life
Shovelful after shovelful into the hole
Grey day
Weak struggle ahead
Dirty air
Breathing in orders
Half dead fish, hole in its lung from the hook
Slaps its tail against the floor of the boat
Cold eyes staring through and past
Needles in the skin, nails in the feet
Nightmares in the head, hate in the eyes
Long way down
Falling short
Falling in love
Falling asleep
Falling in line
Falling into the hole for good reason
For no reason
For real
Forever
Bullshit
Bulls eye
The ones where they believe all that shit
For awhile I believe it too
Then the movies over and everyone leaves
Sometimes I think about that bullshit like it was real
Its what I call a junkfood thought
Not all that good for you, but it gets you through somehow
You can taste the fake truth
The illusion is poison
All of a sudden youre on your own
Its easy to get cut off
Lost in the cold moon night
You reach for the poison
You dont care if its killing you
As long as it gets you out of this
Emitting weak signals from far away
Low output
Where are the planets tonight?
Think about the spaceman blues
Lonely on the moon
Imagine walking out of your room
And finding youre on the moon looking at Earth far away
After awhile it might not be so bad
At least they couldnt hurt you from there
Memories stick like napalm and keep burning
Years later I still burn
Im heat
Its hot out tonight because Im alive
Breathe in the smell of your body
Other bodies
The heat makes me want to destroy myself
Makes me want you
Catch fire like a disease
Never had enough clothes
All those punks on speed
Trying to look worse than Billy Idol
Pulling it off
All those dead girls walking around
You said they were junkies
I remember the time I spent with you
You told me that my cum tasted like chocolate milk
You write me every once in awhile
You all do at some point
I like it better when you dont
I like to forget a lot these days, its like throwing stuff out
Getting rid of you is a good thing, thats why I dont write you back
Im vomiting every memory from my system
You make me remember
When I felt more alive than I do now
Everything we say now is a lie
We could only talk about a time that didnt happen
No one could have had it that good
Three in the morning, cant sleep
I need to get out of here
Today I went through all kinds of domestic bullshit
Tiny rules for tiny lives
Tonight Im living all their little hells
Im going to do the best I can out there this time
I want to be that which overcomes itself
Listening to them makes me weak and small
I watch them go out and fuck each other
They tell me that Im crazy
The years scar me
I dont want a smooth ride
I want the crushing wheel
Their glass grinds my guts
They watch you bleed to death and call it show business
They were close
The streets here are filthy, everything is covered in spray paint
This town is a joke, a worn out paradise
Its been gang raped into shock
I found myself in a place that you had lost a hold of
I got a grip where you lost yours
I have a calming hand in the middle of a storm
I inhale the sun
I exhale the total absence of light
I am the number One
Burning
I wrap my arms around her and I find myself alone
She is alien
I try to understand her and I start to lose my mind
She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
I destroy myself when I am with her
I leave all my blood at her feet
Dreams of her rip through my head like bullets
Looking at her makes me want to rip my eyes out
She is a hollow space that cannot be filled
I have emptied myself out and caved in
I want the long haul to define me
I want to disappear beneath the crushing wheel
So little time left
Fierce awareness burning always hungry
Looking to get destroyed
Inside myself I am strong
Tonight I am napalm
Everythings on fire and glittering
I am alone and looking down and through
I come from the war in my dreams
Theres a wall of fire between me and everything else
I feel good because Im alone and burning
I dont like talking anymore
Im going to cut it out and send it to a stranger
I dont like looking into eyes
They make me feel cheap
I live inside the war reality
Glad to be all one
I get lost in all the stories
They envelope me until I cant see or think
All the hot nights
The glittering eyes that dont sleep
The stories the memories the dreams...
Im standing around in this empty night
Im waiting to get taken away
All the madness all the rooftops
All the heat there ever was in a summer night
Roaring through my veins right now
The hot nights will unfold themselves soon
Ill be wrapped in moist shrouds of solid unending night
In the dark corner of some night I lay ravaged
Glorys teeth have scarred my flesh
Ive become addicted to the unending thing
Sirens of the night that scream inside my brain
The nights keep coming
The thunder screams inside me
I feel like I could catch fire
The black fever night
The animals of vision come forward
A woman once said to me:
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