Winfield - The Perfect Burrito

THE PERFECT BURRITO

An E-Novel

by Jess Winfield

In memory of Kent Elofson

Praise from the discerning world of print publishing for

THE PERFECT BURRITO
by Mr. Jess Winfield

The novel is impeccably written and structured. The voice of Don Miguel is high-energy, over-the-top, and very enjoyable. He really does seem to be on a holy errand. Maria, too, is a well-chosen foil. She allows Winfield to introduce questions of identity and upbringing into a story that is otherwise madcap.

Editor at HarperCollins

THE PERFECT BURRITO is sassy and delightful and has much to recommend it (including a winning concept, a nod to Don Quixote, snappy writing and much more)Ms. Winfield is clearly very talented.

Editor at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Ms. Winfield has a vibrant voice, and I was impressed with the dexterity of her writingtheres lots of texture in the language, and the blog posts are engaging There is a deep and compelling story here.

Editor at Holt

I think she is a great writer, and I think the splicing of straight narration and blog posts is a lot of funThere is an irreverence to it that I can appreciate.

Editor at Morrow/Avon/Voyager

Don Miguels voice is hilariously affectedI wanted Marys voice to ring true.

Editor at Bloomsbury

Theres a freshness to this novels story, which is admirable. Alas, this just seems too quirky overall, and not commercial enough.

Editor at Penguin

PUBLISHERS NOTE

One of the great benefits of bringing Mara de Guadalupe Sanchezs incredible story to you in e-book form is that it allows for active links to a large number of photographic illustrations and the occasional video, mostly taken by Mara herself during her journey. Due to the substantial number of images involved, these extras are, with a few exceptions, hosted externally on the Web rather than embedded in the e-book itself. Those readers who prefer not to be distracted when devouring a riveting story, those whose devices dont have web browsers, or those who simply dont wish to have their imagination gainsaid can ignore the inline links; the story is in no way dependent on the extras. Note that all of the extras can be accessed for free by pointing any Web browser to www.theperfectburrito.com and clicking on E-Book Extras. Theres also a link to each chapters illustrations (if any) at the chapters end. You may wish to follow the journey on the Perfect Burrito Google Map.

Contents

PROLOGUE

Ive been sitting here with my elbow on my desk and my cheek in my hand for some time, trying to figure out how to explain what it is youre about to read. My roommate Nessa just came in and said, Just say you made it all up.

So: I made it all up.

Not true, but at least it got me started typing this prologue.

Maybe all that you need to know is that I wasnt a writer when I began this. It started as a homework assignment from my family counselor. I read some of it to him aloud and he said that it was good, and that I should make it into a novel, so I did. Im not certain that I became a writer during the process, but Im certainly older, and I hope wiser, than I was when I started. Im definitely wiser than I was when the story begins, as youll see.

Im also more well-read than I used to be. Ive stopped watching so many Will Ferrell movies and cracked open a few books instead. A lot of them, maybe too many, were about how to write a book. I considered going back and rewriting the whole thing from page one, with a much loftier and more literary tone, full of motifs and plot points and symbolism. But then the writing would have sounded smarter than I was, and I think its important that you get a sense of how my brain worked then, more than how it works now.

So if this sometimes reads like the ramblings of a clueless youth, its because thats exactly what I was. But its all me. Except, of course, for the excerpts that Don Miguel kindly let me borrow from his blog. Thats all him.

So here it is. Since youre reading it, maybe I am a writer now.

Thank you for that.

Mara de Guadalupe Sanchez
March 8, 2012

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jess Winfield was raised in the bohemian artists enclave of Lake Sherwood, California, by writer parents. At age nineteen, he co-founded the Reduced Shakespeare Company. He co-created the Laurence Olivier Award-nominated comedy The Complete Works Of William Shakespeare (Abridged) and performed in it for many years, including launching its extraordinary decade-long run in Londons West End. After leaving the other RSC, he spent ten years writing and producing animated television and won two Daytime Emmy Awards for Disneys Teachers Pet. His first novel, My Name Is Will: A Novel Of Sex, Drugs, And Shakespeare (Twelve, 2008) was a New York Times Book Review Editors Choice and a California Book Awards First Fiction finalist. He is married and lives in Los Angeles. Visit http://www.jesswinfield.com for more, and follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Pulling together an e-book of this scope took five years and a village and a half. So much for my simpler, smaller second novel. Im grateful to my agent Ellen Levine for her patience. Thanks to early readers Dawn Rose, David Rose, Danica Lisiewicz, Franz Metcalf, Daniel Singer, Jane Rosenberg LaForge, and Erin Wallen for notes and encouragement. The inspiration for many elements of the story came from Wendy Mercado. Amy Reed LeBeau checked my Spanish; Julie Tumamait-Stenslie was generous in sharing her Chumash tales with me; Danny OConnor did a lot more than just take photographs and apply stunning filters. For the videos and other extras, thanks to George Takei, Brad Takei, Nancy Gunn, Hughes Hall, Corinna Laskin, Kacey Camp, Toni Baffo, Chris Moore, Rachel Culp, Dorothy Hall, and Gerry Zucca. Im immensely grateful to Tina Frugoli for sharing Goliath; to Kohanya Ranch and Diane Laskin for making connections; to Billy Schoeppner, Margie Kristofferson, Bobby Montoya, Larry Crenshaw, Trini Mercado, Judy Aldrete, and the rest of the staff of El Coyote for their support. Special thanks to Laura McLean for research and web assistance, proofreading, and more. As for Sa Winfieldreader, costume and set designer, builder and dresser, production coordinator, driver, animal wrangler, personal assistant, chef, sleep and beverage managerI ask: is there anything you cant do?

All the restaurants and burritos featured in the tale are real except for the fictional Monty Zoomas, but the opinions expressed about them are those of the equally fictional Don Miguel and Mara Sanchez. I actually love all the burritos in this book, and their purveyors were kind enough to allow us to photograph them. The author particularly extends thanks and an olive branch to Manuels El Tepeyac Caf, about whose cuisine the author disagrees with Don Miguel. Their burritos are indeed obscenely large, but also quite tasty, and their staff is just as friendly as depicted. Finally, I owe a debt to burrito-seekers past, including the great Calvin Trillin for his many gastronomic forays around San Franciscos Mission District, the excellent (if currently fallow) Burritophile.com website, and John Roemers elevation of the burrito to divine status in his article for the SF Weekly entitled Cylindrical God.

On a corner in Los Angeleswhich one, I dont even want to rememberthere is an office. I worked there for a very brief time. The office managers name was Michael MacDonald. We went on a Quest together, and there were windmills involved and I know what youre thinking but I would like to set this straight right off: he is not Don Quixote, and I am not Sancho Panza. First of all, hes not Spanish, Hispanic, Latino, Chicano, or whatever, as much as he wishes he were.