Rich Ochoa - One Way Ticket to Anywhere

A Memoir A Createspace BookPublished in the United States of America by Createspace, an Amazon.com company. www.amazon.comCopyright 2011 by Rich OchoaAll Rights reservedISBN 9781461142997Second Edition To My Great Grandmother, Big Grandma, Helen.

You ended every visit standing on your front porch as we drove away; waving with one hand, wiping tears from your face with the other. I wondered, Whats wrong with Big Grandma? Were gonna see her again soon. And we always did, until the last time she stood on the porch waving and crying. Now I understand: There was nothing wrong with Big Grandma.

Acknowledgements
Note to My Readers
Introduction
Im Gonna Die
Abducted
Chocolate Milk
Bouncing Baby Sister
A Scarred Childhood
The Pee Desk
My Favorite Song
Man of the House
Will You Be My Friend?
California Is the Place You Wanna Be Pet Cows and Dogfights
The End of the World as We Know It The Olympics
Pole Vaulting
I Bet Bruce Jenner Didnt Have This Problem Selling Roses
Could Someone Give Me a Ride?
There Aint No Free Lunch
YeahAbout that RideNot Right Now Cocktails
Are You My Dad?
Grandpa and Grandma
Letters to Me and My Mother
Who Shot J.R.?
Were Going Home Kids
Brother Sal Ahmey
March 30, 1981
The Last Supper
Kill or Be Killed
The Stolen Lawn Chair
One Way Ticket to Anywhere
The Lady on the Bus
The Clothes on My Back and a Broken Sack A Friend with a Bed
My Own Place
I Thought You Was Roadkill
My Wheels are Coming Off
One of Us Needs a Car
Squeal Like a Pig
Tuna and Potato Chips
The Blackberry Relays
Worms in My Turds
Sumpin to Eat
Flagrant Foul
Whats an Editorial?
Icees and Nukes
Money for Nothing
To Study or Not To Study? That Is the Question

I thought I knew how to write until I finished the first draft of this, my first book, and then solicited feedback. I realized how much there was to learn, even about something as subjective as this craft. Without the critique of my friends and fellow writers at Trinity Writers Workshop in Bedford, TX, this manuscript would never have been publishable. Dean Thompson, youre the toughest critiquer in the group, never sugar coating your feedback, usually focusing on the negative, because someones got to do it. But the night at the workshop, after I read my chapter, The Lady On the Bus , moved by my prose, you looked at me and said, you have a gift. Even if I get all one-star reviews on Amazon, that alone validated this book.

Jeff Raimer, Stan Denman, John Langlet, Frank Chapchuk, Donna Hornick, Jim Mitchell, Sheryl Thompson, Robbie Hudson, Dia Fauss, Larry Guera, Ryan Krems, Juanita DeRyan, Kyle Vandivort, and Cindy Garland, your tireless technical support, critique, proofreading, and encouragement kept me going at different stages of the multi-year process. Ryan Krems, thanks also for your help in giving me a web presence. Wayne Parham, thanks for your help with rural Ebonics spellin, although I think twenty- five years working as an engineering bigshot has diminished your expertise.

Thanks to my once-agent, Alice Martell, who fawned over this book and tried hard, albeit unsuccessfully, to sell this project to Taylor, Harper Collins, Ballantine, Penguin, Random House, Simon & Schuster, Holt Macmillan, and almost every major press in New York City. Their flattering rejection emails all had the same theme: A memoir from an unpublished non-celebrity is just too big a risk for us to take on right now.

Thanks to Carrie and my girls, Lindsay and Leanna, for inspiring me every day. And, special thanks to all the characters in this book for being a part of my story.

This book once earned me representation with a reputable NYC literary agent, but she was ultimately unable to sell the title to a publisher. When my contract with her expired, I reconnected with several other agents whom had also offered representation or expressed interest one year earlier. Unfortunately, they saw this as arecycled project.

With no agent, I marketed directly to several small publishers one of whom was interested in publishing a PG version of One Way Ticket to Anywhere . I felt doing so would detract from the authenticity of characters and certain scenes in this story. Full chapters would have been totally cut.I meanreallytheres nothing PG about an alcoholics rage or the thoughts of a seventeen- year-old boy. So why pretend there is?Youre about to read a book without restraint. Because this work is self published, the manuscript was reviewed for typos and technical errors by friends, not by a professional staff of editors. If you find any errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, word usage, or other technical aspect of this work, your pointing them out to me is greatly appreciated. I will consider incorporating your feedback into future revisions of the book.If youd like to point out a technical error or have any comments at all about the book, just send an email to richochoa@gmail.com. I will respond directly. You dont get that accessibility to the author with Random House . Also, becauseIm not paying a full-service publisher, you probably paid less for this book.

The reach of a book depends on word of mouth referrals and positive reviews. If the book entertains you or moves you, please tell your friends and tell the world by giving it a positive online review on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. If you are bored by this story and lose interest after two chapters, no need to write a review. Lets just keep it a secret.

Dont be confused by references within the text to multiple last names for the author. I am Ochoa, Schnabl, and Hanson. This is part of the story and I explain how that came about as part of the narrative.

Many of the char acters names have been changed and a few characters are composites. There are also some characters whose names are authentic. I kept them unchanged because I think they are portrayed positively, so please dont sue me; its my way of thanking you for being a part of my story.

I have fairly detailed memories of my childhood. That said, of course I dont remember the exact dialog used in a conversation when I was five years old. This is a memoir, not a court transcript nor a history book. Youll enjoy the book more if you dont ask yourself, Howcan he possibly remember that? Memoirists must take some writers liberties when they develop the scenes which support the key events that they do remember. In doing so, Ive tried hard to not misrepresent the fundamental storylines in this book. Although some of the blanks were filled in by parents and grandparents, the perspective and points of view represented in the book are mine, and I am human, and humans are inherently subjective and may remember events somewhat differently than other humans. In this book, I attempt to stay as objective as possible. Still, if my mother, father, sister, friends, or any other character depicted were asked to write about an event in this book, the story would come from a different perspective and likely be interpreted differently. However, you did not pay five bucks to read their stories but you have for mine, so you get my version.

Sometime in 1970, we were getting ready to go to the drive-in movies when my mother got a phone call. I dont think I felt anything after she got off the phone and told meBig Grandpa had died. If any emotions stirred within me, it was relief that the old man whose standard greeting toward me was to twist my ear so hard that it hurt, and then stick the tip of his thumb between two fingers and say, got your ear wouldnt be doing that to me anymore.

I thought my mother was overreacting a bit by cancelling the movies and all, its not like we were planning to bring him with us or anything like that. Why couldnt we still go to the movies?