Louis Sachar - Theres a Boy in the Girls Bathroom

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DONUTHEAD, Sue Stauffacher

TROUT AND ME, Susan Shreve

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REMOTE MAN, Elizabeth Honey

Published by Yearling, an imprint of Random House Childrens Books a division of Random House, Inc., New York

Text copyright 1987 by Louis Sachar

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eISBN: 978-0-307-79711-7

Reprinted by arrangement with Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers

v3.1

Bradley Chalkers sat at his desk in the back of the roomlast seat, last row. No one sat at the desk next to him or at the one in front of him. He was an island.

If he could have, he would have sat in the closet. Then he could shut the door so he wouldnt have to listen to Mrs. Ebbel. He didnt think shed mind. Shed probably like it better that way too. So would the rest of the class. All in all, he thought everyone would be much happier if he sat in the closet, but, unfortunately, his desk didnt fit.

Class, said Mrs. Ebbel. I would like you all to meet Jeff Fishkin. Jeff has just moved here from Washington, D.C., which, as you know, is our nations capital.

Bradley looked up at the new kid who was standing at the front of the room next to Mrs. Ebbel.

Why dont you tell the class a little bit about yourself, Jeff, urged Mrs. Ebbel.

The new kid shrugged.

Theres no reason to be shy, said Mrs. Ebbel. The new kid mumbled something, but Bradley couldnt hear what it was.

Have you ever been to the White House, Jeff? Mrs. Ebbel asked. Im sure the class would be very interested to hear about that. No, Ive never been there, the new kid said very quickly as he shook his head.

Mrs. Ebbel smiled at him. Well, I guess wed better find you a place to sit. She looked around the room. Hmm, I dont see anyplace except, I suppose you can sit there, at the back.

No, not next to Bradley! a girl in the front row exclaimed.

At least its better than in front of Bradley, said the boy next to her.

Mrs. Ebbel frowned. She turned to Jeff. Im sorry, but there are no other empty desks.

I dont mind where I sit, Jeff mumbled.

Well, nobody likes sitting there, said Mrs. Ebbel.

Thats right, Bradley spoke up. Nobody likes sitting next to me! He smiled a strange smile. He stretched his mouth so wide, it was hard to tell whether it was a smile or a frown.

He stared at Jeff with bulging eyes as Jeff awkwardly sat down next to him. Jeff smiled back at him, so he looked away.

As Mrs. Ebbel began the lesson, Bradley took out a pencil and a piece of paper, and scribbled. He scribbled most of the morning, sometimes on the paper and sometimes on his desk. Sometimes he scribbled so hard his pencil point broke. Every time that happened he laughed. Then hed tape the broken point to one of the gobs of junk in his desk, sharpen his pencil, and scribble again.

His desk was full of little wads of torn paper, pencil points, chewed erasers, and other unrecognizable stuff, all taped together.

Mrs. Ebbel handed back a language test. Most of you did very well, she said. I was very pleased. There were fourteen As and the rest Bs. Of course, there was one F, but She shrugged her shoulders.

Bradley held up his test for everyone to see and smiled that same distorted smile.

As Mrs. Ebbel went over the correct answers with the class, Bradley took out his pair of scissors and very carefully cut his test paper into tiny squares.

When the bell rang for recess, he put on his red jacket and walked outside, alone.

Hey, Bradley, wait up! somebody called after him.

Startled, he turned around.

Jeff, the new kid, hurried alongside him. Hi, said Jeff.

Bradley stared at him in amazement.

Jeff smiled. I dont mind sitting next to you, he said. Really.

Bradley didnt know what to say.

I have been to the White House, Jeff admitted. If you want, Ill tell you about it.

Bradley thought a moment, then said, Give me a dollar or Ill spit on you.

There are some kidsyou can tell just by looking at themwho are good spitters. That is probably the best way to describe Bradley Chalkers. He looked like a good spitter.

He was the oldest and the toughest-looking kid in Mrs. Ebbels class. He was a year older than the other kids. That was because he had taken the fourth grade twice. Now he was in the fifth grade for the first, but probably not the last, time.

Jeff stared at him, then gave him a dollar and ran away.

Bradley laughed to himself, then watched all the other kids have fun.

When he returned to class after recess, he was surprised Mrs. Ebbel didnt say anything to him. He figured that Jeff would probably tell on him and that hed have to give back the dollar.

He sat at his desk in the back of the roomlast seat, last row. Hes afraid to tell on me, he decided. He knows if he tells on me, Ill punch his face in! He laughed to himself.

He ate lunch alone too.

As he walked in from lunch, Mrs. Ebbel called him to her desk.

Who, me? he asked. He glared at Jeff, who was already sitting down. I didnt do anything.

Did you give my note to your mother? asked Mrs. Ebbel.

Huh? What note? You never gave me a note.

Mrs. Ebbel sighed. Yes I did, Bradley. In fact, I gave you two notes because you said the first one was stolen.

Oh, thats right, he said. I gave it to her a long time ago.

Mrs. Ebbel eyed him suspiciously. Bradley, I think its very important for your mother to come tomorrow.

Tomorrow was Parents Conference Day.

She cant come, said Bradley. Shes sick.

You never gave her the note, did you?

Call her doctor if you dont believe me.

The school has just hired a new counselor, said Mrs. Ebbel. And I think its very important that your mother meet her.

Oh, they already met, said Bradley. They go bowling together.

Im trying to help you, Bradley.

Call the bowling alley if you dont believe me!