Graham Hutchins - Its Just A Game: A Scrumful of Rugby Stories

Kiwis take rugby seriously. Theres no one more disappointed than an All Black fan in the tortured hours following a test defeat, no matter how rare or marginal. Even a draw can drop the jaw for days.

And yet rugby has many layers. While it can be devastatingly depressing, it can also be as funny as a fight. Rugby humour is distinctive. Often its unintended, sometimes understated. At best its gut-busting, team-bonding and sometimes as memorable as the game itself.

Rugby also has its poignant moments. Unexpected loss, confused signals, sad endings and thats just off the field. Pitted against personal insecurity as much as the intentions of the opposition, players find challenges on the field can be overcome, anxiety dissipated. Short of going to war, rugby can be one of the few chances for Kiwis to legally test their physical and mental mettle, take the crunch, ride the tackle, go for the corner or just go home. Such tensions can see amusing situations percolate to the surface.

There are stories about boots, umbrellas and mouthguards in this collection, but more than physical objects, rugby and rugby humour is about people from the All Blacks, whom some might claim reside halfway between people and gods, to the barefoot brigade stubbing toes and snubbing refs and parents on a Saturday morning.

And lets not forget the average player, the also-ran who loves the game, makes up the numbers, knows his place, yet sweats as much as the best. The stars couldnt shine without the average player. And day in day out, its the average player who unwittingly provides the amusing and endearing edges. Imperfection is humours handmaiden, as Charlie Westnostril once said.

Most groups who actually play the game are covered in this collection. Then there are the support staff, the good folk without whom a game of rugby might stall to a stop, if it ever started: referees, touch-judges, coaches, selectors, zambucks, water boys and other nameless legions. You know who you are. But you may not know all the amusing tales associated with your centres of excellence ... or otherwise.

Often considered to be at the lower end of the rugby food chain are the spectators and supporters, the fans and fanatics, the men of few words, and the other men who cant stop talking, yelling and swearing. And women too, from the ancient umbrella twirlers on the sideline to the modern-day founts of knowledge who know more about Dan Carter than Carter himself, and that Ritchie McCaw can fly a plane and play the bagpipes but not at the same time.

This collection deals with extremes, from the high ground of All Blacks learning of their elevation to the top echelon, to the absolute pits: players, teams and clubs crashing down in a state of demise, default and demolition the three Ds.

From the very early days of rugby in New Zealand, to the 2011 World Cup triumph, humorous rugby stories have tagged along. The spread is wide, in both time and space. From the far north to the deep south, from the west coast to each coast (as one after-match speaker put it), rugby humour has leached its way on to the playing fields of a rugby-besotted nation. From town and country, bush and bullrush, from remote backwaters to the seething urban cauldron of Eden Park, rugby humour has emerged unbidden.

Its Just a Game features stories about burst shorts, early showers, early worms, early streaking, narrow practice pitches, player superstitions, smart-arse refs, dirty play, scuffles on the terraces, bizarre kicking, sensational droppings, unlikely heroes, suicidal flankers, panic-stricken coaches, unusual nicknames, absentee goal-kickers, practical jokers, odd adornments, after-match speeches, quiz evenings, Sevens, the greatest tackle, the best of the rest and the worst try ever scored.

It also highlights the way rugby and rugby humour impinge on our everyday lives, whether its rugby fans streaking through crowded five-star city restaurants or pies being punted around outside a tumbledown small-town piecart. Rugby humour is cross-generational and as Kiwi as corrugated iron. As someone once said: Without the humour you wouldnt have the serious stuff.