Sean OBrien - Fuel (Rugby)

1. With my older brother Stephen and sister Caroline.2. My Communion Day, with my sister Alex, brother William and godfather Sean Fleming.3. Us five siblings and Mam (back row, right) and Dad (holding Alex) on Carolines Confirmation Day. Im in front of Caroline with my arms crossed.4. Playing for Tullow Rugby Club when we beat Athy 20 10 in Carlow RFC, 2004.6. Celebrating with the Leinster Youths team after winning the interprovincial championship.5. With Stephen and William after an Irish Youths game against Scotland.7. My debut Test match against Fiji at the RDS in November 2009. (Dan Sheridan/Inpho)8. After breaking my leg during a Leinster match against Scarlets in 2010. (Dan Sheridan/Inpho)9. One of the best days of my life: celebrating winning the 2011 Heineken Cup final against Northampton. (Billy Stickland/Inpho)10. Man of the Match: playing against Italy in the 2011 World Cup. (Dan Sheridan/Inpho)11. Holding up a Tullow jersey after the 2012 Heineken Cup final win against Ulster. (Colm ONeill/Inpho)12. Celebrating the series win on my first British and Irish Lions tour in 2013. (Dan Sheridan/Inpho)13. I like this photo of my second try in the 2015 Six Nations win against Scotland, because it was after two surgeries on my left shoulder and I had to reach out to get it on the line. (Billy Stickland/Inpho)14. I got Man of the Match in this game against France in the 2015 World Cup, but the win was overshadowed for me by the citation the next day for the Pascal Pap incident. (James Crombie/Inpho)15. Scoring one of the great Lions Test tries, as Stuart Barnes put it, in the first Test of the 2017 British and Irish Lions tour. (James Crombie/Inpho)16. Leading the team out for a match against South Africa, my fiftieth cap, in 2017 one of my favourite days in an Ireland jersey. (Dan Sheridan/Inpho)17. With Rob Kearney after my last Leinster game at home in the Aviva, a win in the European Cup semi-final against Toulouse, April 2019. (Billy Stickland/Inpho)18. Lifting the trophy after the Guinness Pro14 final in Glasgow, May 2019. (James Crombie/Inpho)

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First published by Sandycove in 2020

Copyright Sen OBrien, 2020

The moral right of the author has been asserted

Cover image Dan Sheridan/INPHO

ISBN: 978-1-844-88460-5

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We lost.

I was home in bed by 2.30am. There was nothing to celebrate. Saracens were champions of Europe. Wed already begun to talk about Munster. Wed lost one final, and we didnt want to feel like that a second time.

I was pretty sore when I woke up the next morning, so I went in to Riverview for a quick swim. It had been a constant fight with my right hip. I cant even begin to explain some of the evenings, and especially the nights, Id had with this. Breaking down crying with pain. Breaking down in front of Sarah after coming home from training. For two years this hip had been the bane of my life. It had put me in bad form with everyone. All I wanted to do was train and play to the best of my ability, and I couldnt.

Matters came to a head the week after that defeat in the Champions Cup final. Id taken a kick, or stamp, on my right calf during the game. It had made my hip very angry. The resulting haematoma in my calf meant everything was going through my hip and glute.

On the Monday, I began doing what I usually do at the start of a week between games. I got my hip moving and had a bit of physio. But I couldnt even manage the unit sessions with the forwards on the Monday or Tuesday, never mind the full squad run.

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