Rebekah Campbell - 138 Dates: The True Story of One Womans Search for Everything

Praise for 138 Dates

I could not put this book down. I laughed, I cried, and I was aghast at Rebekahs experiences. You will enjoy the ride, and whether you have experienced the same, you will learn what determination, persistence and a plan can do in every area of your life. Naomi Simson, Shark Tank, founder RedBalloon, author of Ready to Soar

Rebekah paints a vulnerable and entertaining picture of loss, dating, and the struggles of being a woman building a business in a male dominated world. She cuts to the core of juggling single life, a loud biological clock, and overcoming her belief that she needs to change in order to find happiness. I laughed, learned a lot, and cried my eyes out! Jaquie Brown, television personality and screenwriter

This is one of the most vivid and honest accounts of love Ive read. This book will change lives I only wish Id read it when I was 35. I couldnt put it down for three days and it felt like saying goodbye to a great friend when I finished. Fleur Brown, Launch Management Group and Founding Team TEDxSydney

I loved this book! A relatable and funny look at the realities of the online dating game as well as the not always linear journey of entrepreneurship. A fascinating read in more ways than one! Matilda Green, author of The Feel Good Guide

Raw, relatable and real, fearless and funny. I loved 138 Dates, a story with brains, boundless ambition and a very big heart. Councillor Jess Scully, Deputy Lord Mayor of Sydney

Rebekah is one of the most tenacious people I know and its wonderful to see that tenacity pay off in such a magnificent way. Melanie Perkins, co-founder and CEO, Canva

YES! Love this systematic, get sh!t done, eyes on the prize approach to finding love!

Jane Lu, founder and CEO, Showpo

I loved her raw and honest approach. It made me feel not so alone in some of my experiences while also being incredibly inspired by her go-getter attitude.

Simone Anderson, author of Journey to Health

Thoroughly enjoyable read of a young woman experiencing the pitfalls of seeking perfectionism in relationships.

Gwendoline Smith, psychologist and author of The Book of Overthinking, The Book of Knowing and The Book of Angst.

Rebekahs ability to combine art with business prowess is extraordinary.

Katie Noonan, singer songwriter

Inspiringly insightful.

Lisa Mitchell, singer songwriter

For Jen

(keep going)

This book contains real people, others who have had their name and identifying features changed to protect their anonymity, and some who are composites, where the author has combined interactions with several people into a single character. The author has occasionally altered the timing of events in order to simplify the story. This book should not be considered an accurate portrayal of any single person, other than the author.

First published in 2021

Copyright Rebekah Campbell, 2021

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

Allen & Unwin

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Phone: (64 9) 377 3800

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Web: www.allenandunwin.co.nz

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Crows Nest NSW 2065, Australia

Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

A catalogue record for this book is available

from the National Library of New Zealand

ISBN 978 1 98854 784 8

eISBN 978 1 76106 194 3

Cover design by: Julia Murray

Internal design by: Megan van Staden

CONTENTS

November 2012

I will have sex with Matthew Marino, I decide out loud as I pace across the grass at Rushcutters Bay Park. I fold my arms across my chest. Theres a chill in the early morning air and thick grey clouds gather ominously overhead.

I pace, faster, muttering like Im making affirmations. Its been six weeks. Hes expecting I can do it. I can. My voice shakes and I hunch my shoulders forward. Heavy droplets of water fall from the sky, wetting my loosely tied-back hair. I look up and scrunch my eyes together.

Twenty minutes ago, walking down the hill, Id called my ex-flatmate Ainsley for advice. Honey, six weeks is not normal, shed said. Six weeks is a long time. Unless youre fresh from a convent. Id googled How long before having sex and had found a helpful mens forum on Reddit. Six weeks is all that any man will wait.

And Matthew Marino is not any man. He is a forty-two-year-old senator in the New South Wales parliament. We met on that dating site RSVP can you believe it? He is tall and distinguished and confident. He ticks every box on my ideal partner list, except, well

I am a thirty-five-year-old professional woman in Sydney. I live in a Darlinghurst apartment with high ceilings and an art-deco chandelier. On the outside, I wear makeup and high-heeled shoes, I have a small public profile as founder of the shopping app Posse.com, and I often give inspirational talks at business conferences where I encourage other women to strive for their goals.

But on the inside, I am a thousand petals shrivelling inwards. Because when I take off my makeup and high-heeled shoes and I gaze at the four walls of my nice apartment, I am alone. I shop alone, cook alone, watch TV alone and fall asleep clinging to a pillow.

Until eleven months ago, I hadnt been on a date in ten years. Then last Christmas Day something happened. An invisible dam that had been building inside me seemed to burst open all at once. I would change. I would find love, whatever it took. And I made a resolution: one date every week for an entire year.

Matthew is the forty-third man Ive met so far and the only one Ive been out with more than four times. Tomorrow will be our six-week anniversary, after which we will officially be boyfriend and girlfriend. Well make holiday plans, wedding plans, well discuss the childrens names that Ive already decided on, and my pillow-clinging days will be over. But first, we must have sex. Because if we dont, he will think Im frigid or not into him (I learnt this from Reddit).

I sit next to the base of a giant fig tree. Bright green leaves tremor like fingers on hands above me. I wish I could tell him how long its been. That Im terrified and I wont be any good. I stare across the grass at a dog chasing a stick and two women pushing prams as they chat and sip from takeaway coffee cups.

I stretch my arms high, clasping my fingers together. I can, I whisper. Its natural. I feel my stomach twist and a wash of stomach acid floods my mouth. I will.

I know what youre thinking. Why didnt she date for ten years? How did a successful, intelligent woman get herself into such a pathetic ball of stuck?

If youd asked me this back in 2012, I would have given you a list of excuses. Im too busy with my career. Theres no decent single men in Sydney. I still love my perfect first boyfriend and no one else will ever measure up. I never would have admitted that, actually, I was just scared. Embarrassed to put myself on the internet. Afraid of being rejected.

Im writing to you from July 2020. For eight years Ive published blog posts and newspaper columns about startup businesses and women in tech. And every time I started penning an article about venture capital or how to nail a sales presentation, I felt my fingers quiver at the keyboard. Because I had another story to tell. Because, to me, career success seemed an inch tall compared with what really mattered.