James Dixon - The Raw Files: 2015

THE

RAW

FILES

2015

James Dixon

Arnold Furious

Benjamin Richardson

Bob Dahlstrom

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ISBN 978-1-326-52984-0

01.05.15 by Arnold Furious

Venue: Corpus Christi, TX

Rating: 2.8

Well, this should be interesting. Ive not seen a full episode of RAW in about five years. Not only that, but I stopped watching WWE completely around 2009 and Ive only seen bits and pieces since (mostly CM Punk stuff). The only WWE show Ive watched in full over the last year was WrestleMania (compare that to around seventy events from Japan), and from their biggest show of the year alone I could see major issues with the booking and the in-ring. "New York Style" isnt something I particularly enjoy anyway, but the flaws in the work are gaping and obvious. Whats worse is that this RAW follows New Japans biggest show of the year; Wrestle Kingdom , which featured two phenomenal main events (Kazuchika Okada-Hiroshi Tanahashi ***** and Shinsuke Nakamura-Kota Ibushi *****) and set a bar so high that WWE just cant compete with it. So, why am I even reviewing RAW then?

Good question.

Hosts are Michael Cole, JBL and Booker T. Last time I watched a full episode of this show, both former wrestlers were still active and Booker T was in TNA.

Video Control gives us some clips from last week, making me really confused as Edge & Christian seemingly now have a chat show? [Editors note: It was a one-off deal, combining Edge's Cutting Edge with Christian's Peep Show ). The booking is already a bit weird as Seth Rollins threatens to break Edges neck if John Cena doesnt bring back the Authority. But surely Edge hates Cena, and vice versa? They had a bloody violent feud based on that mutual hatred. It pretty much defined Edge as champion. Apparently thats all been forgotten about because they had a brief moment together backstage last week. Super. Also, the Authority were booted off TV forever... for all of a month. Ive only been back for three minutes and Im already totally confused.

Promo Time: The Authority

The ring is full of the WWE roster to greet the returning Authority, which means RAW kicks off its new year, " WrestleMania Season" and my return to watching the show with a long, rambling Triple H promo. Some things never change. This goes on for a while, then the Authority bring out Seth Rollins and add him to the already announced John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar title match at the Royal Rumble, before booking Cenas Survivor Series buddies into shitty matches, with Dolph Ziggler against Bad News Barrett taking place right now.

2-out-of-3 Falls Match

WWE Intercontinental Championship

Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Bad News Barrett

I did a quick look through the Intercontinental Title history to see what Id missed out on over the past five years, but theres really nothing memorable. Barrett is actually a four-time former champion though. How did that happen? I seriously miss the days of the IC title being an important and worthwhile championship. It can still be done though. Take New Japan and their obsession over the importance of title belts. All of their titles mean something. Their version of the IC belt headlines PPVs, and at the time of this show it was held by one of the biggest stars in the company, Shinsuke Nakamura, and used to elevate talent. Just the day before this show Nakamura defended the belt against Kota Ibushi, practically MADE Kota as a main eventer, tore the house down, and had a match of the year contender. The WWEs version of the same belt? Not quite so important. Yet another note, before we get underway, about ring announcer Eden Stiles. Shes competent, has a decent voice, inflection-wise, and shes a lot better to look at than Howard Finkel. I totally would. I get that the WWE hire people based on appearance rather than talent but its nice when they get both. Cody Rhodes, the lucky bastard, is married to her.

1st Fall: Im well aware this isnt announced as 2/3 falls, but it will be. Ive always liked Ziggler, but his lack of forward momentum serves to prove how little WWE care about making new stars. Maybe its because Ziggler is so good at selling. Wrestlers like that tend to get stuck in a niche and are forced to get everyone else over. The first fall is all Barrett dominating with boring holds until Ziggler rolls him up for the win. Corporate Kane strolls out here and makes this 2/3 falls. So its 1-0 Ziggler.

2nd Fall: A word on the camerawork; its fucking abysmal. ZOOM IN, ZOOM OUT, ZOOM IN, ZOOM OUT. Just hold the damn camera still, monkey, youre giving me a headache. It actively makes me hate watching. Barrett continues to boss the second fall, hits Wasteland and levels the scores. 1-1.

3rd Fall: Seeing as Ziggler is lying around selling, they play Barretts music. What a promotion. Zigglers injury becomes the focus for the match but he kicks out of Wasteland. Okay, cameraman, we have to come to an agreement here before I puke on my keyboard. Just stop zooming in and out. Just stop it. Barrett, not content with slipping two rest holds into the first fall, then slaps on a rest hold so they can have a chat. Top work. Chinlock. Chinlock. Chinlock. Chinlock. Zzzzz. Is the match going on for the entire rest of the show or something? Speaking of which, why is RAW three hours long now? Isnt it bad enough that Hollywood has no idea how to keep their movies at a reasonable length anymore (Peter Jackson, Im looking at you). Chinlock. Ziggler runs into the Black Hole Slam for a near fall. Ziggler returns the favour with a superkick. They lie around for a bit and then Barrett hits the Bull Hammer for the win. His FIFTH IC title. Both of these guys could be good, given the right circumstances. At least Ziggler can sell like a champ.

Final Rating: **

Video Control gives us a recap of John Cenas first big WWE moment: coming out to challenge Kurt Angle on SmackDown! in 2002. Shame he botched the subsequent handshake with the Undertaker. Oh yeah, I may have forgotten to mention; its "John Cena Appreciation Night" tonight. There are clips of him all night. I wont bother detailing the others. This is followed by clips of Big Show and Roman Reigns from last week.

Promo Time: Roman Reigns

His personality stays at home. They try to make him compare himself to Superman. Hes not very good at it.

Video Control takes us to Bray Wyatt, who shows Roman Reigns what an actual promo should sound like. I could actually listen to Bray talk for the entire show.

The Ascension vs. Jobbers

Konnor & Viktor come out here, dressed like dime-store Road Warriors to make fun of... the Road Warriors, which is perfect because it sets up... nothing! It merely makes them look stupid. Okay, not so perfect. The WWE are so respectful of the enhancement guys here that they dont even have names. The Ascension win in thirty seconds flat. Nobody cares. The only thing this team has to look forward to is WWE.com wishing them the best of luck in their future endeavours.
Final Rating: DUD

Video Control gives us a word from Rusev and Lana who big-up Vladimir Putin. Okay then.

Roman Reigns vs. The Big Show

Whenever I saw the Shield wrestle, which admittedly wasnt all that often, Reigns always looked like the one that WWE wanted to push but that no one was that into. The Shield was ideal for Roman because it concealed his flaws. Most notably that he cant talk, but also that his work is WWE-generic. Given the stature of both these guys the match is all clubberin. I dont expect much and it delivers. The crowd are dead by the way. Considering the match is only five minutes long its so, SO boring. At one point Show just hooks a bearhug and I swear Reigns falls asleep in it. Its like watching two guys working in treacle, its so slow. Show uses the ring steps and mercifully its a DQ. I dont think I could have tolerated much more of that.