David Feldman - Why Do Pirates Love Parrots? (Imponderables Books)

An Imponderables Book

Illustrated by Kassie Schwan

This book is dedicated to Imponderables readers, especially these five, who represent the contributions of tens of thousands:

Susan Sherman Smith, who died tragically in a fire in 2004, was the first person to contribute an Imponderable used in a book, and its my all-time favorite: Why Do Women Open Their Mouths When Applying Mascara?

Joanna Parker started writing warm, witty, and supportive letters from day one. Her mail is still cherished, even if it no longer comes encased in pink envelopes.

Douglas Watkins, Jr. has sent in by far the most Imponderables of any reader, every one of them handwritten. As usual, he earned a free copy of this book.

Ken Giesbers is the decathlete of Imponderables, often finding errors in the Letters section, but also contributing Imponderables, commenting on Frustables, and acting as a source about airplanes.

Bill Gerk, king of the Frustables, died at the age of seventy-five in 2004. After each Imponderables book was published, Bill took it upon himself to research every Frustable. He would send several envelopes full of at least thirty to fifty pages of musings, ranging from hard research to imaginative stabs in the dark. His humor and never-ending curiosity were an inspiration, and in the true spirit of Imponderables .

Preface

Why Did Pirates Love Parrots?

Why Do Packing Peanuts Come in Such Strange Shapes?

Why Cant You Buy Grape Ice Cream?

Why Dont You Ever Hear Giraffes Vocalize? Do They Ever Make a Sound?

Why Do Some Slot Machines Use Fruit Symbols?

Why Does Lightning Have a Zigzag Pattern?

Why Do Men Have Domain Over the Family Barbecue?

Why Do Bats Roost Upside Down? What Prevents Them from Falling Down?

Why Are Most Bibles Printed in Two Columns?

Why Do Bottles Have Necks?

Why Is the Pitchers Mound Elevated on a Baseball Diamond? And Come to Think of It, Why Is There a Pitchers Mound in the First Place?

Why Are Most Psychics Women?

Who Was Monterey Jack, and Why Is a Cheese Named After Him?

Why Is the Moon Sometimes Visible During the Day?

How Do They Get the Paper Tag into Hershey Kisses? And Why Are They Called Kisses?

How Does the Vending Machine Know When Its Sunday and That the Newspaper Is More Expensive?

What Happens to Olives After the Oil Is Squeezed Out?

Do Ostriches Swim?

When You Switch Chairs with Someone, Why Does the Seat Sometimes Feel Warm?

What Accounts for the Different Shapes of Cheeses? Why Is Cheddar Rectangular While Brie and Provolone Are Round?

What Does the D in D-Day Stand For?

Why Is an Elephants Nose Called a Trunk?

Why Are American Football Fields 531/3 Yards Wide?

Why Do Books, Legal and Financial Documents, Manuals, Pamphlets, Musical Scores, and Standardized Tests Sometimes Have Pages That Say: This Page Intentionally Left Blank?

In Bowling, Why Is a Strike on the Wrong Side of the Headpin Called a Brooklyn Strike?

Why Are the Number 13 and Friday the Thirteenth Considered Unlucky?

Since Doughnut Holes Are So Popular, Why Cant We Buy Bagel Holes?

Is There Any Logic to the Pattern of Train Whistles? Why Do You Often Hear a Signal of Long-Long-Short-Long?

Why Does Dog Food Have to Smell So Awful?

In Track Events with Staggered Starts, Why Do the Outside Runners Cut to the Inside Immediately Rather Than a More Gradual, Straight Line?

Are Brussels Sprouts Really from Brussels?

How Did They Mark Years Before the Birth of Christ? And How Did They Mark Years in Non-Christian Civilizations?

Why Are There More Windows Than Rows in Commercial Airlines? Why Arent the Windows Aligned with the Rows of Seats?

How Do Audio Cassette Decks Know When To Go into Auto-Reverse?

Do Real Artists Line Up the Object To Be Painted by Putting Up the Thumb of Their Outstretched Arm? If So, Why?

Why Does Store-Bought Bread Often Have Two Mounds on Top with a Channel in Between?

Why Does Water Vapor in the Sky Clump into Clouds Instead of Diffusing Evenly Throughout the Atmosphere?

Why Is Carbonated Water Called Club Soda?

Why Are There Holes in the Deposit Envelopes for Automated Teller Machines?

Why Do Womens Hips Sway When They Walk? Is This Intentional?

UnimponderablesWhat Are Your Ten Most Frequently Asked Irritating Questions (FAIQ)?

Why Do Drive-Up ATMs Have Braille Markings?

Do Blind People Dream? If So, Do They Dream in Color?

Why, Unlike Other Sports, Do Baseball Managers Wear the Same Uniform as the Players?

How Many Licks Does It Take To Get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop?

How Does the Hair on Your Head and Chin Know To Grow Long, But the Hair on Your Eyebrows or Arms Stays Short?

Why Do We Park on Driveways and Drive on Parkways?

Why Do They Use Sterilized Needles for Lethal Injections to Prisoners? Why Do They Use Rubbing Alcohol on Their Arms?

Why Did Kamikaze Pilots Wear Helmets?

Why Are Black Boxes Orange?

If You Can Answer the Questions in Your Book, Shouldnt They Be Called Ponderables Instead of Imponderables?

Why Do the U.S. and Other Navies Use a Fouled Anchor as Their Symbol?

Why Are Computer Circuit Boards Green?

Why Do Wet Dogs Go Out of Their Way To Shake Off the Moisture in Front of Their Master?

Why Is a Square Boxing Area Called a Ring?

Why Does Iced Tea Get Cloudy?

Whats Medicinal About a Medicine Ball? And What Do They Stuff in Medicine Balls To Make Them So Heavy?

What Is the White, Usually Oval Patch Found on the Bottom of McDonalds Hamburger Buns?

Why Do Some Places, Such as Newfoundland, Australia, India, and Parts of the Arab World, Have Half-Time Zones? Why Do Some Large Countries Have Only One Time Zone?

How Did the Candy Snickers Get Its Name?

Why Do Motorcyclists, Especially Those Riding Harley-Davidsons, Rev Their Engines While Waiting at Stoplights?

Why Are Salmon Pink?

Why Do Parrots and Other Birds Mimic Human Speech and Other Sounds?

Why Are Portholes Round?

Now We Know Why Ships Portholes Are Round. Why Are Airplane Windows in the Passenger Cabins Oval?

Why Dont Trains Have Cabooses Anymore?

Do Birds Sweat?

Why Is the Earths Core Still Hot?

Why Do More Men Snore Than Women?

Why Do Vultures Waste Time by Circling Their Dead Prey Instead of Swooping In and Chowing Down Immediately?

Whats the Purpose of the SysRq Key on Most Computer Keyboards?

Why Do Taxicab Drivers Often Put Their Car in Park While Waiting at a Stoplight?

Where Do Telephone Companies and Utilities Obtain Telephone Poles? Are They Special Logs?

Why Do Telephone Poles Extend Far Above the Highest Wire or Crosspiece?

Why Does a Can of Diet Coke Float in Water While a Can of Coca-Cola Sinks?

Why Do Male Figure-Skating Announcers on Television Wear Tuxedos?

Why Is It More Tiring To Stand Than To Walk? Why Is It Hard To Stand Still on Two Legs?

If Thanksgiving Is a Harvest Celebration, Why Is It Held in Late November?

Why Do Self-Service Gas Stations Usually Disable the Automatic Handle on Gas Pumps?

Can Women Use Just For Men Hair Coloring?

Drug Labels List Active and Sometimes Inactive Ingredients. What Are Inactive Ingredients and Why Are They Used If They Dont Do Anything?