Stephanie Kate Strohm - Restless Hearts

FOR MY DAD. SEE, I REALLYNEED YOU TO BUY ME THE ENTIRE ARCHIE AMERICANA SERIES.

S.K.S.

I HAVEALWAYSLOVED FALL.

Its the perfect season, especially in New York: the colors, the brisk weather, all the fashion-layering opportunities. Plus, theres the September issue of Vogue , New York Fashion Week, beautiful new displays in all the department store windows But Ive loved fall since before I could even pronounce Anna Wintour. Its probably because of back-to-school shopping.

Every year, my mom took me uptown to Lacys so we could browse the sale racks. But more often than not, wed just look at the glamorous window displays for inspiration, then go home so Mom could create her own versions of the outfits we couldnt quite afford, teaching me how to sew at her side. Bergdorf and Bloomingdales and Barneys may have their devoted followers, but none of those stores even come close to Lacys. Every time I walk through her famous double doors with the stained-glass panels, designed by Louis Comfort Tiffany himself, I get the sense that nothing bad can happen to you there.

Lacys is high-end enough to be aspirational, but timeless enough to be accessible. If Lacys was a person, she would be a woman in a perfectly tailored suit. Something classic, that would never go out of style.

Lacys is an American icon.

But despite all this, my favorite part will always be the windows. Mom and I came every year to see the displays change with the seasons, back when I was small enough to be strapped to her chest in a baby carrier. But this was the first fall I was at Lacys on my own.

No Mom.

I clutched my coffee a little tighter, blinking as I focused on the window display. Mom wouldnt want me to cry at Lacys. It would be all wrong, like crying at Disney World.

The mannequins in the window all had silk scarves trailing from their necks, almost like Amelia Earhart. Little-known fact: Amelia Earhart actually designed a fashion line in the 1930s, and they carried it exclusively at Lacys. I stepped closer to admire a pair of high-waisted tweed pants, a pair of oxford heels peeping out from under the hems. Absolutely the kind of thing a daring aviatrix might sport. Amelia would definitely approve.

Happy fall, Katy Keene.

I turned, and there was my boyfriend, KO Kelly, standing in the middle of the busy sidewalk, holding a donut. Theres something about a six-foot-one heavyweight boxer holding a confection covered in pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles thats just too perfect for words. He folded me into his arms, careful to keep the frosting from rubbing against the red Peter Pan collar of my wool coat, resting his chin on top of my head. Theres no safer place than wrapped in KOs arms.

Well, except maybe Lacys.

I know Im not your mom, Katy, but I didnt want you to be on your own for the unveiling of the Lacys windows.

So sweet. I rose up on my tiptoes to kiss him, and I melted a little, just like I always did.

Is that donut for me? I asked.

Oh yeah. KO blushed. I, uh, ate mine on the walk from the subway. But here. He handed over the donut, and I bit in, relishing the sweet sugar rush. Delicious. Nothing but Plunkin Donuts finest for my girl.

So, I asked in between mouthfuls, what do you think?

I gestured to the window in front of me, and KO turned to contemplate it fully.

This is really His brow furrowed as he looked in the window like he was hoping an answer might fly out of the caramel-colored beret on the mannequin closest to us. Um pants? Those are some nice pants?

Oh, yes, I agree, I said seriously. Very pants.

Im sorry; my fashion expertise is limited to boxing gear! He picked me up and spun me around as we laughed, sprinkles scattering onto the sidewalk.

Being here, with KO, was the first time since Mom died that I felt like I could remember her without the beep of machines, the faded fabric of her hospital gown, and the smell of the terrible food. I remembered her here, at Lacys, sketching what she saw in the window on a crumpled napkin or the back of a receipt.

Well? Shall we? KO offered me his arm.

Shall we what? Go in? I raised an eyebrow skeptically. Unfortunately, Im not exactly in the market for a new fall wardrobe right now. Number one priority is figuring out how Im going to pay the rent.

I was still in the apartment on the Lower East Side that Id grown up in, but I had a feeling that wouldnt last for much longer. I was doing my best to find a job, but at the moment, I could barely scrape together what I owed each month. And although the landlord had been really understanding ever since Mom got sick, from our last couple of conversations, I was getting the sense that Mr. Discenza was thinking of selling the building. He could probably make a lot more money selling it to some developer than he was currently collecting in rent, now that the neighborhood was getting increasingly trendy, even as far east as we were. A spin studio had opened up on our block last week, which meant it was really the beginning of the end. It was no longer the Delancey Street of my childhood.

Youre taking window-shopping a bit too literally. Gently, KO tugged me toward the revolving doors, and we squeezed in together, KOs bulk taking up most of the space. Youre allowed to look at more than just the displays.

As we emerged onto the marble-tiled floor, the atrium expansive above us, I breathed in the scent of hundreds of perfumes commingling.

Ambition by Rex London? a spritzer asked. I paused, admiring how chic her high-necked black blouse was, with the small, surprising floral detail at the collar that kept it from being too staid.

KO sneezed in response.

No, thank you. I smiled, steering my boyfriend to the less-scented air of the clothing departments. He was still sneezing as we stepped onto the escalator, his normally clear blue eyes red.

I gripped KOs arm excitedly, wondering what theyd have upstairs. Obviously, I was excited to see the new designs, but it wasnt just about a new pair of suede boots. It was about what those boots represented. The changing of seasons. Saying good-bye to the old to bring in the new.

A fresh start.

And this year, I really needed a fresh start.

You know what I decided? I said as we rode up to womens wear, the sounds of the perfume hall disappearing behind us.

Whats that?

Ive decided this is going to be the best fall ever.

My final year of high school had been swallowed up by the pain of slowly losing Mom, knowing there was nothing I could do. I barely even remembered last fall. But this was a new season, full of nothing but possibility, and I was going to do everything I could to make the most of it.

The best fall ever, huh? KO grinned, hopping off the escalator behind me. I dont know about that. What about the fall of freshman year, when I saw the prettiest girl Id ever seen, walking down Second Avenue in a bright red coat?

Better than that. I grinned, too, remembering how Id almost walked into a trash can because Id been so distracted by the cute boy in the Western Queens Boxing Gym jacket.

What about the fall of sophomore year, when I finally got the courage to ask her out?

Even better than that. I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him, right there in the middle of womens wear. Its going to be perfect. Well watch the leaves change color in Central Park and sip hot cider, and we can take the train to that pick-your-own apple orchard on Long Island