C.T. Walsh - Down with the Dance

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Cover design by Books Covered

Cover photographs Shutterstock

Cover illustrations by Maeve Norton

Copyright 2019 by C.T. Walsh

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

The characters and events portrayed in this book series are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. In the event a real name is used, it is used fictitiously.

Publisher's Cataloging-in-Publication Data

provided by Five Rainbows Cataloging Services

Names: Walsh, C.T., author.

Title: Down with the dance / C.T. Walsh.

Description: Bohemia, NY : Farcical Press, 2019. | Series: Middle school mayhem, bk. 1. | Summary: Join Austin on his journey through the tumultuous waters of middle school. | Audience: Grades 5 & up. | Also available in ebook and audiobook formats.

Identifiers: ISBN 978-1-950826-01-8 (paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Bildungsromans. | CYAC: Middle school students--Fiction. | Middle schools--Fiction. | Dance parties--Fiction. | Bullying--Fiction. | Friendship--Fiction. | Humorous stories. | BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Social Themes / Adolescence & Coming of Age. | JUVENILE FICTION / School & Education. | JUVENILE FICTION / Humorous Stories. | JUVENILE FICTION / Boys & Men.

Classification: LCC PZ7.1.W35 Do 2019 (print) | LCC PZ7.1.W35 (ebook) | DDC [Fic]--dc23.

For my Family

Thank you for all of your support

M iddle school. I mean, am I right? You might think it's appropriately named because, well, it's smack dab in the middle of high school and elementary school (why isn't it called low school?), but to me it's more like muddle through school. And thats on good days. On bad days, its medieval torture school. Everyone talked it up about how awesome it was with more freedom, new friends, and easy electives like napping and finger painting. But all I got was a Wednesday morning fart in the face (after Taco Tuesday), or in other words, a new principal who hated my guts.

Before we get into that, allow me to introduce myself. Austin Davenport here, and this is my story. Buckle up, its going to be a bumpy ride. Im just going to come right out and say it. No suspense. No mystery. There are two villains in this story, Principal Buthaire (he says its French, but everyone calls him Butt Hair) and my brother, Derek. They are a match made in heaven, because my brother has the prized family butt chin, which means that everyone, including my parents, likes him more than me. At least it seems that way to me most of the time. Seriously, it's like he has a teeny tiny baby's butt on his chin. I don't know why everyone thinks it's so awesome. They've never seen the dark side of the butt chin. I don't even want to get into it, but let's just say that the cute little baby bottom ain't all that pretty when the dude eats chocolate pudding. I make myself feel better by calling him Butt Face, mainly behind his back, but sometimes I have the guts to whisper it when he's got his headphones on.

My parents are pretty smart people, but for some reason, they don't seem to realize that my brother is a putz. Never was it more apparent to me than during our first year of middle school together.

I should probably start at the beginning. I know it's confusing, the beginning of middle school, but try to keep up. It was the first day of sixth grade, our first year in Cherry Avenue Middle School. I know it sounds all sweet, warm, and fuzzy, but I assure you it was barely better than a flaming bag of poop. And when your brother is Derek Davenport, unfortunately, you get to know flaming bags of poop. I don't know where he gets it all.

Anyway, Cherry Avenue had a new principal because the old one was fired. Last year, the old principal let the eighth graders duct tape him to the wall for charity, which was fine and raised a lot of money for sick kids, but the students liked it so much that hordes of kids just started taping him to the walls every day. Pretty soon, the school was in chaos. My town implemented a new rule where you had to have ID or at least a mustache to buy more duct tape, but by that point, it was too late. Principal Puma had lost control and there was no turning back. So they brought in a former prison warden. I dont know that for certain, but Id bet my brothers life on it that its true.

So it was the morning of the first day of school. I was reasonably excited, but also nervous. I liked school, outside of the fact that I have to be there with other kids. I stood at the bus stop with my best friend, Ben Gordon, and my next-door neighbor and friend thats a girl (not girlfriend), Sammie Howell, talking coding. I know what youre thinking, no, we werent the coolest kids, but codings not just for the geeks anymore. Full disclosure, though. Im pretty much a geek.

My brother, Derek, tossed a football leisurely with a few of the older kids from our neighborhood. He was annoyingly good at sports, well, almost everything, especially tormenting me. Hes eleven months older than me, and as it so happens, was born in January, putting us in the same grade. Lucky me. Its such a wonderful life experience having your older, bigger, better-at-everything, butt-chinned brother in school with you.

Stevie Stroudsburg overthrew the football. It tipped my brothers fingers and helicoptered over toward us, stopping at my feet. I gave it a quick tap over to my brother with the hopes that he wouldnt get too close and say something to embarrass or ridicule me.

Thanks, he muttered. He turned back toward his friends, and then back toward me. Hey, you memorize your locker combo yet? I hope I remember mine.

Of course. 35-7-21, I said confidently, and without thinking. I thought I caught a smirk surface on his annoying face before he turned to continue his football catch.

Oh, my God, I said to Ben and Sammie. Do you think hell remember my combo? I asked, beginning to sweat.

He wouldnt do anything bad with it, even if he did, Sammie said. My brother could burn down the town and turn himself in and she still wouldnt believe it. Shes had a crush on Derek for as long as I can remember. Hey, nobodys perfect.

I looked at Ben for some assurance I could believe in. He always gave it to me straight, even if he knew I wouldnt like the answer. Dude, youre in trouble. Id ask Zorch for a new lock as soon as you get to school.

Who is Zorch? Sammie asked, as the bus turned the corner and headed our way.

Hes the custodian. You havent heard of Zorch? Hes a janitorial legend, Ben answered.

Thats not a thing, Sammie said as she looked to me for support.