David Aretha - Bossing the Bronx Bombers at Yankee Stadium

So there we were. The Baseball Geeks. Sitting in a luxury suite at Yankee Stadium. Looking especially geeky in our suits and ties.

Man, I havent had to wear a suit since my great-aunt Loretta died in 2010, I complained.

Kevin, our chronically nervous and antsy friend, was rubbing his big front tooth, creating a squeaky noise.

And I cant take my suit jacket off, Kevin said, cause everyone would see my armpit stains. Im sweating like a pig.

Yeah, well, I got my own problems, said Omar, our tall, lanky African-Uzbek-American friend. It was obvious that the Big O had outgrown his lime-green suit. I look like Magic Johnson in Kermit the Frogs Sunday outfit, he complained.

Kevin, Omar, and I were more at home on the Little League fields of suburban Cleveland. But today we were guests of George Robert Rustin Ruffenheimer III, the eccentric, multibillionaire owner of the New York Yankees. GRRR 3, as he was known, was actually a fan of usor at least his grandson was. GRRR 5 had seen us on TV in the Fenway Challenge, when we prevailed in a treasure hunt inside Bostons Fenway Park.

Now we sat in the owners suite, an hour before a YankeesCleveland Indians game on a Friday night in July. The suite was like the party room of a fancy restaurant, with a bar, tables, and comfy leather chairs. Paintings of Yankee greats, from Babe Ruth to Derek Jeter, lined the walls. Up near the big glass wall, a row of seats faced the field.

While a few millionaire-types milled around, us Geeks sat at a table drinking Sierra Mists. Then the kid walked in.

Aw, geez, here we go... , said Kevin, who had little patience with youngsters.

GRRR 5 was a plump child, about eight years oldthree years younger than us. He wore a wide grin that seemed frozen on his face. Ridiculously, he donned a complete New York Yankees uniform, including a cap and plastic spikes. He stood in the doorway with a woman clad in jewelryprobably his mother. She pointed to us, and the strange boy walked toward our table.

Kevin looked at me and rolled his eyes.

Be nice, I told him.

The kid walked up to our table and stared at us with that silly grin.

Hi, he said.

Hows it goin? Kevin mustered with a fake smile.

Im Joe, I said to the boy, shaking his hand. And this is Kevin and Omar.

My name is Georgie, he said. But most people know me as GRRR.

Georgie turned his face into a snarl and curled his fingers into a claw.

Grrrrrrrrrrr, he growled.

Kevin and Omar glanced at each other as if to say, this kids nuts.

I saw you guys on TV, Georgie said. I watched the Fenway Challenge eleven times.

Wow, eleven, Kevin said. You should get a medal.

I kicked Kevin under the table.

Do you want the lineup? Georgie asked, placing a piece of paper on the table.

The what? Omar asked.

The manager sends my grandpa the lineup before every game, Georgie said, still with the grin on his face. My grandpa always wants to see it. My grandpa owns the Yankees.

Okay, Georgie, the woman shouted from the doorway. Thankfully, the kid had to go.

Im your number one fan, he told us.

He turned and walked away. The back of his Yankees jersey said GRRR up top and then 5 as his number. We remained composed until the kid left the room, and then burst out laughing. Omar and Kevin each broke into huge Georgie-like grins, each one dumber-looking than the other.

Omar grabbed the lineup card.

So whats the deal with this? Omar asked. Does the owner have to approve the managers lineup?

Dont you know about this guy? Kevin said. Ruffenheimer is the most controlling owner in baseball. The manager... whats his name?

Barney Maxwell, I said.

Yeah, hes GRRR 3s puppet. His yes man. He gets paid five million dollars a year to take orders from the Boss.

Omar stared at the lineup card. Over the next few minutes, the three of us discussed a pair of bad lineup decisions by Manager Maxwell. Us Geeks may have been just average students, but we knew baseball. We especially knew the Cleveland Indians, whom we watched on TV virtually every day.

I dont understand why Cabellano is not starting, I said. Against our catcher, he could steal bases all day.

We were lost in our discussion until the Boss cleared his throat. We looked up, where the six-foot-four, large-and-in-charge Yankees owner loomed over us. He wore a blue suit and a cowboy hat with the Yankees logo on it. Before he bought the team, Ruffenheimer had owned a huge swath of land in Texas. When oil was discovered on his territory, he sold the land for billions. Then he bought the Yankees.

Howdy, boys, he said, tipping his hat.

We stood up, as if our middle school principal had just entered the room. We attempted to say hello, but the Boss was an intimidating figure. Kevin started sweating like a pig.

Sit down, sit down! implored Mr. Ruffenheimer.

We sat down, and he joined us at the table.

I want to thank you for being nice to my grandson. Hes a big fan of yours, which is why I flew you in here.

Thanks for having us, Omar said.

Im curious about what you were talking about there, he said, pointing to the lineup. We tried to say it was nothing important, but he persisted.

Fess up, boys, he said. Are you saying we should make a change to the lineup?

Oh, no, sir, I said. We just...

He persisted. You just what? he asked.

We went on to suggest that Felix Cabellano, the speedy backup outfielder for the Yankees, should be in the starting lineup. The Indians catcher had been in a terrible throwing slump lately. So if Cabellano got on base, Kevin explained, he could easily steal second and third base every time.

GRRR 3 was intrigued.

Also, Omar told the Boss, the Indians starting pitcher hasnt been getting his breaking ball over the plate against left-handed batters. In his previous two starts, we explained, Cory Fryman had walked nine battersincluding eight lefties. So we think the Yankees should start Justin Rule as the DH tonight, Omar said.

Hes left-handed and really patient, I added. He would probably draw a couple walks.

Huh... , Ruffenheimer mused. He walked eight lefties?

Yes, sir, I said.

The Boss held the lineup card in his hand and pondered it for a while. He walked over to the bar, took out a pen, and wrote a couple changes on the card.

Hes not actually changing the managers, Omar whispered.

Shhhhh, I said.

Ernie? the Yankees owner said to a young man in a suit.

Yes, sir? Ernie replied.

Run this down to Barney, GRRR 3 said. Were gonna make a couple changes today.

Yes, sir, Ernie said, and he marched out of the room with the card.

The Boss walked back to our table.

Lets not discuss what just happened here, he warned us. If the New York media finds out that I got three little rugrats calling the shots, theyll run me out of town! Hahhhh-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

He turned to walk away, but then he stopped to tell us one last thing.