Nicole Zoltack - A Journey of Despair

To those who think magic and faith dont have to be mutually exclusive.

My life has turned upside down and inside out and every other which way. I can barely believe whats happened lately, and I actually lived through it all!

You see, shortly before my sixteenth birthday, I discovered that my mom is actually my aunt and that my birth parents are actually dead.

But thats not the crazy part. Turns out, my birth mom sought out the help of witches to conceive me.

And thats still not the crazy part. A witch called Scarlet Blood sacrificed herself so I could be born.

Now here is the really crazy partIm not human. Im magic incarnate. I have unlimited magic.

At least, I did.

Coming to terms with everythingwith my mom/aunt, with my faith, with my powerstook some time, time I didnt have because shamans and witches both wanted to use me to end their war.

And I did end it. At great personal cost. I lost control of my magic and almost destroyed the world by creating a massive storm. To dissolve the cloud, I killed myself.

But God gave me a second chance at life. As a human.

Now, I have a strange connection to this life and to death, and because a witch-hunting dog was sacrificed to bring me back, I can also turn into a monster beast type thing.

Remember that Scarlet Blood? She linked to me, siphoned my magic, and went after my boyfriend Vince and my best friend Bri, marking them for death, willing to trade their souls for her own and her fathers.

I stopped her.

My friends, though, remained marked. And six demons left the portal to Hell near my hometown.

Gavin, a close friend and a witch, and I did everything we could think of to try to rid them of their marks. Nothing worked. As the demons created terror throughout the town, I kinda lost my way. Before Gavins father died by my handliterally my hand since I have the Touch of the Deadhe trapped my parents in a vial where their minds live out perfect lives. Between my parents, Vince, Bri, and the rest of the town, I couldnt save them all.

And some did die. I did kill demons, but not all of them. And Bri a demon possessed her, but she managed to regain control of her body before another demon could kill her sister and saved Julie by dying in her stead.

I couldnt save Vince and Gavin. A demon sent them through the portal to Hell after I prevented her from gathering the six elements for whatever spell or incarnation she wanted to preform. I killed the demon, reopened the portal, and jumped through.

So, here I am, in Hell, hoping to get the three of us out of here alive.

Not gonna be easy, thats for sure. Might not even be possible.

Still, I gotta try.

H eat. Unbearable heat. My lungs are burning, and my mouth is so dry, but I cant stop myself from crying. I cant. The pain is unbearable.

Not everything is terrible, but I cant focus on anything remotely good. Brianna Stoker, my best friend, is dead. She sacrificed herself to save her baby sister, and because of the mark a witch gave her, Bris somewhere here, in Hell, her soul suffering.

Father Joseph died too. So did Officer Wallaces brother. I cant even be happy that my mom and Officer Wallace, my moms new husband, are freed from the curse they had been enduring. What kind of life will they have now? Their house is burned to the ground, courtesy of demons, and his brother Plus Im gone too. My mom never even knew that I came back to life after dying to save the world, and now that shes back to the world of the living, Im here, in Hell, away from her and unable to warn her about the demons I hadnt been able to kill

Vince Fullermy first boyfriend and maybe my ex-boyfriend, Im not quite sure where exactly we stand right nowand Gavin Venatora witch who is one of my closest friends and who might be a candidate for boyfriend if I want one if Vince and I are done, not that I want Vince and me to be doneare here, beside me. Were all sitting on the insufferably hot volcanic ash ground, rocking back and forth. I think theyre just as focused on their own worries and doubts and self-loathing as I am. So many wrong choices so many people I didnt save so many people I lied to and hurt

Did Julie, Bris sister, make it back home? Did the demons find her first? What if they

Vince wipes sweat from his brow and bumps his elbow into me. Imhey. He holds out his arm. Its gone.

I grab his wrist and rotate his arm slightly. Hes rightthe mark that claimed his soul for Hell, with its flames and trianglesis gone. His skin is smooth, without a blemish, as if the mark had never tarnished him.

Probably because its goal has been accomplished. Gavin stretches out his neck. His hair is kinda droopy in the heat. Considering hes a fan of hair gel, the look isnt his normal one, but he still looks strong. Solid. Real.

This, all of it, is real. Were trapped in Hell and

I shake my head. So dont want to go down that road again. It almost feels as if my thoughts arent my own, like theyre heading toward depression automatically, of their own accord.

Im in Hell all right, Vince says grimly. He stands, takes a few steps then returns to me, holding out his hand to help me up. What happened up there?

I killed her. The mayor. The demon. I wince. A regret of minebeing unwilling to take the time to see if it is possible to separate a demon from the human he possesses so I can kill only the demon and not also the human. The mayor wasnt the first demonically possessed person I killed, and she might not be the last.

And the portal closed, right? Gavin asks.

I nod. I made it open again, and now here we are.

All three of us glance up. Too far above us is where the portal had been.

Ive tried Gavin shakes his head, and droplets of sweat spritz everywhere. Too bloody hot, he mutters. He closes his eyes, moves his lips, and conjures a tiny breeze. Its only slightly cooler than the stifling air around us, but its better than nothing.

Thanks, man, Vince says.

Yeah. Gavin continues to glower at the out-of-sight portal. Ive tried to blast it with everything I can think of, but I cant open it.

That so surprises me, I say sarcastically. Nothing in my life is a coincidence. Nothing comes easily either.

Case in pointmy mom raised me as her daughter. Sounds normal, right? But my mom is actually my aunt. My birth mom sought out witches to conceive me, only the witches didnt give her a normal daughter. No. They gave her me, magic incarnate. I had limitless magical potential.

And what did I do with it? I lost control of my powers and almost started the apocalypse and in order to save the world, I sacrificed myself.

I died.

God brought me back, well, God and magic. Only Im human now. With powers I dont completely understand. Powers I cant completely control. Powers that Im starting to balance out.